5 Questions to Ask your Spouse When You’ve Run Out of Things to Say

5 Questions to Ask your Spouse When You’ve Run Out of Things to Say

If you’ve been married for any length of time, it’s likely that you’ve already developed a routine in your marriage. So much so that if I were to ask you what your next week would look like, perhaps even your next month, you would likely already know—well, unless it’s 2020, then you’d have absolutely NO IDEA what to expect! Shew! Come on 2021!

 

Anyways, the point is, marriage can get pretty predictable and pretty mundane—not in every season, but in many. If you want to spice it up, you have to be intentional about it.

One of the ways you can get trapped in the mundane is when you run out of things to say to one another simply because you’ve become so conditioned to only talking about the “business” of your family—the work schedules, the kids, the bills, the home repairs, you name it. But at the end of it all, you might be finding yourself a bit clueless about what else there even is to say.

Well, if that’s you, you’re in the right place! We can help!

 If you want conversations to flow between the two of you, it’s going to require reconnecting—and that will involve seeing each other once again, as something other than just mom and dad.

It’s time to start talking, start dreaming and start connecting, and here are the questions to get you there… 

What do you miss about us? Asking each other this allows you each to tap into that empty space you may have, the space that longs for the connection. The space that can really only be filled by one another.

When you get your answer, you have a solution. Do those things. Get back what went missing! 

When the kids are grown, what do you want our life together to look like? Moving towards future thoughts allows you to dream of more than where you are now. Not as if the now is bad, but it’s also not the end. There’s more ahead. Talk about it, dream about it and get excited.

What do you think about our sex life? Talk about what you like or dislike. Reminisce over what it was like the first time you made love. Don’t be shy, your spouse is exactly who you should share this with. An active sex life is a great gift to a marriage—and when you can talk about it, that’s better yet. Talking about the physical connection invites in the emotional connection.

Do you want to plan a vacation? Who doesn’t want to do that? Keep in mind that it doesn’t matter if you’re in a financial position or the best stage of life to do so—talk about it anyway. Make a plan for 2 years down the road. Make a plan sooner for somewhere cheap and easy. A change of locations shoves all the stress aside and brings to the surface the relaxed side of each other.

Can I tell you what I love about you? Ding—Ding—Ding!!! We have a winner! Of course, you can tell me why I’m so great, Honey! But seriously, when you get caught up in routines, another part of that is taking one another for granted. You begin to forget those things that you love and spend more time focusing on the things that you perhaps, well, don’t love. That’s not good, so go ahead and ask this question and then deliver your list—oh, special tip—know what you’re going to say before you ask this, otherwise that long pause isn’t going to go over so well!

Be intentional in your marriage, quality time and conversation won’t just happen on its own. Prioritize your marriage and then make time for the important things to happen. And, if you get to where you want to go out on a date, we’ve got you covered for that too! Check out our 25 Date Night Conversations and keep the communication going!

 

5 Things your Husband Needs to Hear

5 Things your Husband Needs to Hear

Husbands often get a rap for being simple and uncomplicated, and while to a degree this is true, it doesn’t mean they don’t have a need for their wives to understand them. As strong and as put together as they may appear on the outside, they can actually quite often battle with inadequacy or the fear of being found out that they aren’t as great as everyone may think they are. 

Husbands struggle with the fear of not being good enough as much as wives do. 

As a wife, if you want to do your part to pour into the life of your husband, here are a few things they need to hear from you.

I believe in you—Your husband needs to know that you are behind him and that you are believing in him. They truly do care about how you feel about things and your belief in them is a big part of what propels them to do most of the things they do. Remind him of your support frequently.

It’s okay to take time for yourself—Many husbands often feel guilty over their desires to do some things on their own that they enjoy. More often than not, men don’t like sacrificing family time for free time, but just as it is necessary for you, it is also necessary for them to have this time—and your encouragement/permission, helps 

them to de-stress in their fun and filling ways without feeling all of the guilt.

I appreciate your efforts—More than likely your husband works hard—and it’s also more than likely that their work often looks easy for them.  But that doesn’t mean that it is. Sorry men, but you’re known for not revealing your feelings to your wives, so it’s not unlikely that your hubby has work stress that he’s not letting you see. He is probably dealing with some things that he doesn’t want to burden you with, so he keeps them to himself. Your reminder that all of his work efforts and provisions for the family will be much appreciated. 

It’s okay that you failed—that doesn’t mean you are a failure. It’s a big deal for most husbands to be really hard on themselves when they mess up or miss the mark. In fact, the fear of failure often keeps many husbands from making bold moves that they would really love to make. Reminding them that their failures are ok and a necessary part of life and totally disconnected to who they are as a person, will go a long way.

I don’t hold the past against you—Wives, put down your scoreboards. Us wives are so good at remembering all.the.things, and it’s not uncommon for us to dump out that whole bag of past mistakes during every argument. Setting that scoreboard down will not only help your husband, it will also provide great freedom for you from carrying it all around. A husband who believes every mistake will be held over his head is a husband who will likely give up and quit trying, because he starts believing that no matter what he does, you will always find something to be unsatisfied with.

At the end of the day, your words hold power over your husband’s life. They can speak life and hope, or they can crush a spirit. A husband who feels believed in, empowered and courageous, is a husband who will impact his family greatly. 

If you want to encourage your husband but don’t know the exact words to use, click the link below and get the simplified list of Sweet Things to Say to your Husband.