Ep.10: Gratitude, God & Science

Ep.10: Gratitude, God & Science

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Ep.10: Gratitude, God & Science
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Are you grateful for your spouse? They don’t always make it easy, do they? But did you know there’s a lot of science behind what gratitude does to your brain and mental health? There are also big impacts it can make in your marriage.

 

When you show gratitude towards someone, you are saying that you respect their value, and that you treasure how unique, beautiful or indispensable they are. Wow, what a gift to a spouse that is!

 

Join us today as we chat about cultivating gratitude in your marriage, Gods way! And then go grab your free download activity to do with your spouse!

 

Find my show notes at https://expeditionmarriage.org/post/podcast/ep-10-gratitude-god-science/

What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew

What Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew

Husbands often get a bad wrap in the communication department, but what if it’s actually not all on them? How about the many times in marriage when husbands actually do share how they feel, but as soon as they do, they get dismissed or perhaps told they’re wrong. Yikes, I know.

 

As marriage counselors, a common theme we see in our practice is that when men get shut down, dismissed or rejected, they are quick to just give up. In other words, when they try and compliment their wife and she refuses to receive it, they stop complimenting them. They don’t want their words to fall on deaf ears. Same goes when they share a reason why they do something and their wife refuses to believe them and instead says, “That is not why you do that, I know why you really do it.” Whelp, they likely won’t be sharing that answer again.

 

Before I get ahead of myself with this, I do want to say that a lot of husbands actually do need to get better at communicating. They do have some ownership in this too, but to give them a bit of a voice today, here are 4 things many husbands wish their wives knew:

When he tells you you’re beautiful, he’s not just saying it. He means it.
Many women struggle to receive compliments, but as a wife, you need to learn how to receive them from your husband. No one wants to share an encouraging, heartfelt word only to have it met with rejection. Just simply say thank you and choose to believe it. You will be better for it.

He loves your naked body and enjoys seeing it. Really.
You may be keenly aware of every flaw and imperfection your body has, but your husband really doesn’t care about those. He is looking past all the imperfections and finding fulfillment in just your willingness to be vulnerably exposed in front of him. He just wants to enjoy you.

Sex with you is much more than a physical release. It is a way he feels more connected and closer to you.

He doesn’t just want you for sex. Being emotionally connected with your husband creates a desire in you to physically be with him. But, being physically intimate with you, helps him feel emotionally connected to you. It truly is a blending of the best of both worlds when you can grasp this.

Things stress him out more often than he lets on. He doesn’t always tell you because he doesn’t want to stress you out too. Here’s where it’s on the husbands, however they want you to know that they do want you to support them under stress but they often hold back as a way to protect you. Your husband’s intentions aren’t to withhold from you, they are to keep you safe.

 

All in all, there’s room for growth on both wives and husbands alike. That’s why it’s always good to leave assumptions aside and allow room for grace and good intentions. Wives truly do want to believe in compliments and husbands really do want to share their struggles. So the next time your husband says “You’re beautiful”, simply smile and say, “Thank you,” and the next time your wife asks how your day was, be honest and just tell her.

If you want to take your communication a little deeper, check out Episode 7 on the Expedition Marriage podcast where we chat about The Masks We Wear in Marriage.

Ep.10: Gratitude, God & Science

Ep. 9: Walking in an Attitude of Gratitude

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Ep. 9: Walking in an Attitude of Gratitude
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Today’s show is the first part of a two-part series on Gratefulness. And oh, what a time we live in for living with an attitude of gratitude. If you can pull off walking in gratefulness during this season, you will surely be recognized as someone who is set apart!

Join us today to learn the power that being grateful can have in your marriage. We’re also going to share with you a quick tip on how to start working on being grateful in the everyday life with your spouse. You don’t want to miss this episode!

 

Find my show notes at https://expeditionmarriage.org/post/podcast/ep-9-walking-in-an-attitude-of-gratitude/

How to Have a Weekly Marriage Check In

How to Have a Weekly Marriage Check In

Every marriage requires investment. In fact, anything we want to grow and prosper usually involves an investment of time and energy. 

One of the best ways to have a successful and fulfilling marriage, aside from God being in the center of it, is to spend time together. And I’m not talking about hanging out on the couch or being in the same room while one of you does the dishes and the others gets the kids ready for bed. I’m talking about intentional time—time that is purposeful.

Time to connect and time to check in. 

Here are some ways that we recommend prioritizing this important check in connection that every married couple needs:

Let’s start simple—Schedule it—yep, actually make time for it. Get your weekly check in time on your schedule and stick to it. We recommend a Sunday afternoon or evening if possible—one without distractions if you can swing it. Choosing this time allows you to prepare for the week ahead. 

Next, spend some time face to face. We say this because getting face to face has some seriously good benefits. Eye contact alone sends some great messages to the brain. It lets it know that you are seen, recognized and validated. The longer you hold that eye contact, the better. Face to face time also lets your brain know that your spouse is not an enemy, and in fact, that they’re actually someone safe who is granted permission into your life. This is why if you’ve ever been in a spat while driving in the car and one of you (we won’t say which one–but I’ve got a good guess), scoots over and turns and stares out the window. What has happened is pain or hurt has entered in and safety has been temporarily removed, so the natural self protective thing to do is to look away.

The bottom line is this, when you get face to face, you let your guards down and you connect.

Now it’s time to check in. This is the space where you simply ask one another, “How are you,–how are you, really?” Let each other in on your stressors, on your celebrations and on any other ways you’ve been feeling.

Keeping the conversation going, it’s time to ask about each other’s schedules for the week. Once you emotionally connect, it’s time to get practical. Run your weekly agendas by each another. Put any scheduled events on a mutual calendar so you both know what each other has going on. This allows you to enter into the week with a plan.

Now it’s time to wrap it up by asking each other “Is there anything you need from me for this week? It’s time to be a resource to each other. Maybe picking up take out on a busy day is required or maybe one of you might need some free time scheduled in because of an extra hectic week ahead. Get used to asking each other for help. There is no greater resource you each should have beyond one another. This is a same team approach. Ask your partner about their needs.

Lastly, wrap it up in prayer. Pause and pray together. If you want to learn more about the Power of Praying for your Spouse, check out this episode on our podcast. But go ahead and thank God for the time to be able to pause and lift up any prayers for the week ahead.

 Ultimately, when you make time for your marriage, you’re actually saving time that’s normally lost in arguing, hectic schedules and weekly blindsides. 

 If you want this simplified, download our Simple Steps to a Weekly Check In from below. 

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Ep.10: Gratitude, God & Science

Ep. 8: The 7 Year Itch. Is it a thing?

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Ep. 8: The 7 Year Itch. Is it a thing?
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Today’s episode is about that 7 year itch.

  • Has it affected you?
  • Are you scared that it might be ahead?
  • Is it even a thing?
  • Or, if it is, is it just smooth sailing after that?

Tune in today and find out as we talk about 4 things that might be making that 7 year, or perhaps that 2 year, 10 year, or even 20 year itch a problem in your marriage. Oh, and don’t worry, we will help you know what to do and give you some strategies to keep those nasty itches from popping up in the first place!

Find our show notes at https://expeditionmarriage.org/post/podcast/ep-8-the-7-year-itch-is-it-a-thing/