Healthy marriages don’t just happen by chance. That may be one of the biggest blindsides you learned after getting married. You, like me, probably fell prey to thinking that this wonderful love connection you have as a couple will carry you through to your happily ever after, only to find out that your Mr. Wonderful isn’t always so wonderful, and this marriage thing is going to require patience and some work.
But no worries, that’s where the incredibly beautiful things happen in marriage. Love will require work, but it’s that work that changes you and that often changes them.
To have a healthy and successful marriage, you’re going to need more than just a wish and some goals. It’s going to require instilling some good habits into your daily married life. There are things you can do every day that will set your marriage up to be one of the most thriving and connected relationships you’ll have.
3 Habits for a Healthy Marriage
Daily communication—Relationships aren’t silent. Life can get mundane, busy, and put on auto pilot. You must make the daily habit of coming together and talking face to face without distraction. You can do this in the morning with your coffee, over a lunch break or when you put the kids down in the evening. Just pause long enough to give one another undivided attention.
Honesty and vulnerability—Every day you must choose to be honest with one another with how you’re feeling, what’s bothering you, and what your real needs are. Don’t withhold or hide things going on in your life, invite your spouse in on these things. Be honest with them if they’re doing something that is bothering you. If you withhold these things, you will only be allowing bitterness and resentment an open invitation in your marriage.
Active listening—If you want connection in your marriage, you will need a lot of intentional listening. This one seems simple, but really, none of us are truly naturally good at it. Listening is a practiced skill, but it can be a game changer in your marriage.
These three habits for a healthy marriage are foundational, but above them all, keeping Christ in the center of your marriage is most important. Two individuals who invest in personal one on one time with the Lord will always make for the best marriages. As for executing these daily habits into your marriage, if you’d love some specific and intentional focus on these areas that will keep you connected as a couple, be sure to check out the Restoring Connection Plan, a 4 week daily plan to re-igniting your connection through intentional communication. It might be just what your marriage needs!