Did you know that you and your spouse have a Change Scale? That means that you have individual abilities to adapt to change. One of you may be way more resistant to change and really would just love for everything to stay the same. The other might be a lover of change and feel as if there’s no change, there’s no growth. Then there’s a third type of person who is just fairly neutral and can take it or leave it. 

Whether you are opposites or exactly the same in this category, it’s not difficult for your marriage to get out of whack when change, especially unexpected change, comes your way. And, since the only thing that doesn’t change is the fact that there will always be change, it’s going to be important for you to learn how to handle these seasons of change. Here are some ways you can not only support one another during these times, but perhaps even learn to thrive in them. 

How to Handle Change as a Couple

Address those big emotions in whichever of you has them. It’s very common for the change resistant spouse to have a lot of fear regarding change. There was likely comfort in the familiar that now must be let go of. Address that. Let your spouse or you have those fears and learn to embrace them as part of the process. There is nothing wrong with being afraid of the unfamiliar. That’s totally normal. 

It will be very important to not only just talk about those fears but also to provide support. Trust is a big component of change. It’s so much easier to go through change with someone who you know will be right there with you. God gives us that promise Himself, to never leave us and to always go with us in Deuteronomy 31:6. There’s great comfort in knowing you’re not alone. When the time for change comes, remind your spouse that you’re in this together.

Next, you want to make some space for any grief that is needed. Quite often change comes with letting go. Whether it is a new job, a child going to college, a move to a new state, or heck, even to a new house, be sure to support one another for any losses as well. Again, those feelings are normal. Don’t try to dispel them, shame yourself or one another for having them, or shove them down. Just have them, because when you do, it’s time for the most positive step in handling change—get excited

Yes, excitement for what’s ahead, even if it’s unknown, is important. After all, it may be unknown to you, but it is completely known by God, and His plan is good.

Change is unavoidable, so whether you love it or hate it, you must learn how to deal with it because it’s surely coming! But, change is also a stressor for many people and when stress comes into your marriage, it’s time to be there for one another. Allow for your differences, support one another and be hopeful about what the change will bring.

If you want more on this topic, be sure to check out the Expedition Marriage podcast, and if you want to check your Life Change score and see if changes are indeed stressing you out, plus get some conversation helps to use in your marriage, be sure to click below!

xoxo, Chris & Jamie