Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Ep. 4: What Not to Say to Your Spouse

Have you or your spouse ever gotten into hot water with each other? Chances are it’s because someone said something that they shouldn’t have. We’ve all been there a time or two, but today we want to help prevent you from falling into the same trap again.


Join us as we have a chat about the most common things spouses are saying to each other that perhaps they should just keep to themselves. See if you’ve been guilty of some of them yourself.


After you’ve listened we’d love for you to leave us a review! And then, if you’re up for it, send this episode to your spouse and plan a chat together to see if you can plan to prevent these hurtful or dismissive comments from coming up again.


4 Things Not to Say to Your Spouse

  • Calm down!
  • Stop worrying.
  • You shouldn’t feel that way.
  • Get over it.


Instead say:

  • I’m sorry you’re so upset, or just be silent and allow time for your spouse to vent
  • Acknowledge the concern. I’m sorry you’re so stressed or worried about this, can I pray for you? I know it’s stressful, but I’m here with you.
  • You’re allowed to feel that way. I can understand why you might feel that way. I get it.
  • Take all the time you need to process this. Is there anything I can do to help you or us move forward?


Join us on the next episode as we talk about Technology in Marriage


Quotes from the episode:

“It’s okay for your spouse to be upset.”

“When we tell our spouse to calm down it’s really more about us not wanting to be upset by their emotions.” 

When we say, “stop worrying” to our spouse, what we’re really saying is “your freaking out is freaking me out, so I need you to stop.”

“Our real motives are, “the faster you change, the faster I can feel better.”