Is conflict something you tend to run from? Does the mere thought of someone, especially your spouse, being upset with you almost throw you into a panic? If this is you, or your spouse, we shared some great insight on this episode!
Having a desire to avoid conflict often happens for a reason. It’s when you know and understand that reason that you can begin to embrace conflict in a healthy manner. After all, conflict can connect you as a couple, and surprisingly enough, it can also be one of the things that creates safety in your marriage.
Here are some of the reasons you or your spouse might be avoiding or dreading conflict:
Your personality. Yep, we’re all wired differently, and some of us are more soft spoken, tender-hearted, anxiety ridden, and just more attuned to constant peace.
You’ve seen conflict go wrong. Perhaps you grew up witnessing knockdown, drag out fights, and your example of conflict is dangerous, scary or intense. You may also have experienced conflict with a past relationship that led to pain, zero resolutions, and more fights.
You’re a slow processor. Conflict can be challenging for you if you need time to gather your thoughts or feelings. Conflict tends to happen fast not allowing much time to slow down and think. Learning how to slow down and respect one another’s processing time will become a game changer for you.
You’re an emotional stuffer. Instead of sharing how you feel, you’d rather just avoid the feelings all together and cram them deep down for another day. A day that you secretly hope never comes.
You’ve been a victim. This is a tough one. When you’ve experienced trauma, conflict can often feel like danger.
Regardless of where you’ve developed your conflict avoidance, there’s always hope to learn how to have conflict well. Once you know what you’re dealing with you can then begin to make changes and address the incorrect mindset you have.
All couples have conflict. It’s not only not bad, but also necessary. It may never be fun or ideal, but it certainly can be made healthy.
Let us know if we can help!
Click below to start our 4 part series helpign you navigate conflict: