Manifesting—the latest buzz word. The whole idea behind it is that if you want positive things like wealth, a dream job, healing, a great marriage, etc., is all you must do is think positive thoughts around those things, and perhaps put a few of them down on paper as if they’ve already happened, and then “POOF!”, they will be manifested into reality.

If only it were that simple!

While there’s nothing wrong with a positive mindset, in fact, as marriage counselors, we encourage them, but left on their own they’re not miracle makers. If you simply think good thoughts and never pair them with action, they will likely go nowhere.

To be honest, the concept of manifesting has some real dangers to it. Believing that positive thoughts are enough to change circumstances can be harmful because they can keep you from showing up and doing the work that indeed will change your circumstances, in this case, your marriage. They can also lead you straight to despair when your manifesting fails.

Let’s think for a minute. What about the woman with cancer who still fully believes she will be healed because that is what she is manifesting, and yet she’s not? Did she not think positively enough?

How about the wife who is manifesting her husband to quit drinking and become more invested in his marriage, yet his addiction still destroys their family? Is that on her now?

No, of course not. But this is the harm that can come from this idea.
The reality is, sometimes we can think positively AND do the work and all the right things, and bad things still happen. The truth is, there is no magic answer, but I think that might be what we all may be looking for. 

Here’s why: We don’t like pain or suffering of any kind. We don’t like living paycheck to paycheck, we don’t like cancer, we don’t like hard marriages, we don’t like discomfort, so instead we start grasping at the straws of manifesting. 

If you really want as good of a life as you can have, including your marriage, here is the real path to your best shot at it:

Intentionality + Effort + Prayer + Trust

Be intentional with life and your marriage. Want a great marriage? Do what people who have great marriages do. They go on date nights, they have deep and authentic communication, they deal with their problems, they enjoy sex together, they have fun and a friendship. Do the things that will create a great marriage. Be intentional and put in some effort. Don’t just try to think them into happening. 

You also want to surrender in prayer. Manifestation is just an effort to try and be in complete control so your life can be easy. The problem is that life has probably already shown you repeatedly how little control you have. But that’s ok, control is overrated. What you need instead is to be faithful in prayer remembering that God is always in complete control. The One who knows all, sees all, and will always have the best plan, even when it makes no sense to you.

You see, what this all comes down to is knowing and trusting that when you’re following the Lord, things will always turn out how they should. He will put light on your path, and He will redeem any missed steps along the way. His plan will always be the best one, way better than anything you could ever manifest yourself. You just need to do the work, and sure, stay positive, but let Him be responsible for the results. 

Do you want to really unleash God in the changing of your marriage?
Try taking our 30 Day Praying for Your Husband Challenge or our 30 Day Praying for Your Wife Challenge!

Check them out here: