How to Make Couple’s Devotions Really Happen

How to Make Couple’s Devotions Really Happen

If you’re like most Christian couples, bringing God into the center of your marriage is important to you, but making that happen can be difficult. First of all, know that you’re not alone. We’re professional Christian counselors and it can be hard for us too. Just like any good thing, it will require work and intentionality, BUT, let’s also not forget that we have an enemy who is finding great pleasure in our busyness, chaos and fatigue. Jesus is here to offer us an abundant life, but there’s also a thief who is here to steal, kill and destroy it (John 10:10). 

In order to not let the Enemy take away what Jesus came to give us, we have to develop a little tenacity when it comes to protecting our time and the things that are important to us, like the establishment of doing a couple’s devotional together. Opening up God’s word to grow as a couple will almost always have opposition. Here are some practical tips you can use to actually make this God sized marriage goal come to fruition.

For starters, be committed. Decide together that it is important to you both, and that your marriage is worth investing in. It’s amazing how many other things we invest in that don’t pay back even close to the same dividends. Like most of you, I enjoy a good Instagram scroll, but I can’t tell you the last time it’s given me back anything.

Next, schedule it—take an honest look at your schedule and put it in your calendar during a day and time each week that works for you. A lot of couples, including us, go with a Sunday evening. It’s a good time to spend together and prepare for the week ahead. Nothing will start your week better than time in God’s word together.

Lastly, if you want to make it easier to do, it helps if you make it fun. Grab your devotional, we highly recommend ours, the Newlywed Couple’s Devotional, for all newlyweds and newlywed wanna-be’s, and make a special dessert, enjoy a cup of coffee, or if you’re able, go sit at a place you enjoy, like your front porch, a coffee shop, or make it an early relaxing night in the bed.

Over time, you might actually find that this time together discussing God’s word, hearing stories of other couples, learning practical marriage tips, answering real purposeful questions together, and then closing it all in prayer, is exactly what your marriage needs and what your heart begins to crave.

Make the decision to invest in your marriage, check your calendars, and then head on over and grab a copy of the Newlywed Couple’s Devotional. You’ll be glad you did!

26 Ways to Make Date Nights as Easy as ABC

26 Ways to Make Date Nights as Easy as ABC

Isn’t it amazing to think of how easy it used to be to squeeze in a date night? In fact, can you believe that there was once a time where that’s literally almost all you did together? But, if you think of what dating provided for you way back then, you’d quickly discover why it’s SO important to keep those date nights alive.

Dating helped you establish your friendship, it helped you discover both of your likes and dislikes, and it likely provided a lot of laughter too. All the things that bonded you as a couple back then, can still bond you together as a married couple now. That’s why date nights are so necessary.

But we totally understand if you’re running out of ideas, so we’d love to help you with that. No matter how busy life gets, with just a little bit of effort, we truly believe date nights can be as easy as the ABCs, and here’s the proof….

A. Adventurous Eats- Go out for food you haven’t eaten before

B. Bike riding, explore your neighborhood or find a new place

C. Chalk drawing encouraging messages on sidewalks for strangers

D. Dessert and Dancing at home

E. Escape room. Grab some friends and take on the challenge

F. Fishing. Farmers Market or Food Truck

G. Game night at home or with friends

H. Horseback riding. Hammocks at the park. Hiking.

I. Ice cream sundaes. Go all out!

J. Journey through old photo albums

K. Kite flying. Karaoke.

L. Live music. Learn a new skill.

M. Massages at home or at a salon

N. Netflix new series

O. Outside fire pit or outside swing

P. Pedicures. Popcorn and a classic movie. Picnic. Photoshoot

Q. Quickie somewhere new

R. Random act of kindness together

S. State park

T. Trivia night.

U. Unwind by relaxing at home without technology

V. Vacation dreaming and planning.

W. Walk in a park you’ve never been to

X. Xbox gaming together

Y. Yard games.

Z. Zip lining. Zoo.

One more thing date nights do—they help you learn more about each other, and just because you’re married, that doesn’t mean you’re done getting to know each other. In addition to these date night ideas, if you’d like to keep on getting to know each other and have some things to talk about while you’re out, go ahead and grab our 25 Date Night Conversations from the tab below!

Now go on, get out there and have some fun!

5 Questions to Ask your Spouse When You’ve Run Out of Things to Say

5 Questions to Ask your Spouse When You’ve Run Out of Things to Say

If you’ve been married for any length of time, it’s likely that you’ve already developed a routine in your marriage. So much so that if I were to ask you what your next week would look like, perhaps even your next month, you would likely already know—well, unless it’s 2020, then you’d have absolutely NO IDEA what to expect! Shew! Come on 2021!

 

Anyways, the point is, marriage can get pretty predictable and pretty mundane—not in every season, but in many. If you want to spice it up, you have to be intentional about it.

One of the ways you can get trapped in the mundane is when you run out of things to say to one another simply because you’ve become so conditioned to only talking about the “business” of your family—the work schedules, the kids, the bills, the home repairs, you name it. But at the end of it all, you might be finding yourself a bit clueless about what else there even is to say.

Well, if that’s you, you’re in the right place! We can help!

 If you want conversations to flow between the two of you, it’s going to require reconnecting—and that will involve seeing each other once again, as something other than just mom and dad.

It’s time to start talking, start dreaming and start connecting, and here are the questions to get you there… 

What do you miss about us? Asking each other this allows you each to tap into that empty space you may have, the space that longs for the connection. The space that can really only be filled by one another.

When you get your answer, you have a solution. Do those things. Get back what went missing! 

When the kids are grown, what do you want our life together to look like? Moving towards future thoughts allows you to dream of more than where you are now. Not as if the now is bad, but it’s also not the end. There’s more ahead. Talk about it, dream about it and get excited.

What do you think about our sex life? Talk about what you like or dislike. Reminisce over what it was like the first time you made love. Don’t be shy, your spouse is exactly who you should share this with. An active sex life is a great gift to a marriage—and when you can talk about it, that’s better yet. Talking about the physical connection invites in the emotional connection.

Do you want to plan a vacation? Who doesn’t want to do that? Keep in mind that it doesn’t matter if you’re in a financial position or the best stage of life to do so—talk about it anyway. Make a plan for 2 years down the road. Make a plan sooner for somewhere cheap and easy. A change of locations shoves all the stress aside and brings to the surface the relaxed side of each other.

Can I tell you what I love about you? Ding—Ding—Ding!!! We have a winner! Of course, you can tell me why I’m so great, Honey! But seriously, when you get caught up in routines, another part of that is taking one another for granted. You begin to forget those things that you love and spend more time focusing on the things that you perhaps, well, don’t love. That’s not good, so go ahead and ask this question and then deliver your list—oh, special tip—know what you’re going to say before you ask this, otherwise that long pause isn’t going to go over so well!

Be intentional in your marriage, quality time and conversation won’t just happen on its own. Prioritize your marriage and then make time for the important things to happen. And, if you get to where you want to go out on a date, we’ve got you covered for that too! Check out our 25 Date Night Conversations and keep the communication going!

 

Honey, Let Me Tell You Why I Want a Date Night

Honey, Let Me Tell You Why I Want a Date Night

Honey, I know it’s been a while since we’ve had a date night. I’m tired, you’re tired, it’s too expensive, and we don’t have any time. I know all of these things are true, but yet I desperately want a date night anyway. Let me tell you why…

When we go out it gives me an opportunity to remember who you are and appreciate who you’re becoming. Who we are becoming together. These are things we can only know by communicating, actually having uninterrupted time talking together. We’re both always evolving and I don’t want to miss that. I want to know what’s going on in your life. How you think and feel matters to me. 

I also love us after we’ve experienced a date night. It increases the quality of our relationship. I feel loved and valued, and my love and value for you increases too. We’re a better us when we take time away together. Besides, sometimes I just really miss you and I don’t like that. I wan’t another date night with you. 

Spending time, just the two of us, reminds me that I am a priority to you and it helps me keep you a priority to me. I don’t want to just wish we had time together. I want to make that time of investment in you because you matter to me. When we go on dates I am reminded of our commitment and dedication to each other. I am reminded that you will always have my back and I yours. I really want a date night with you.

Honey, I want a date night with you because you make me come alive. Time alone with you makes me desire you in all the ways, physically, emotionally and mentally. It keeps the element of surprise in our marriage. It brings to the surface the fun and playful side of us that I love so much. 

Lastly, dating you makes me remember all the many things I love about you and why I married you in the first place. So, how about it, you up for a date?

Love,

Me 

2 Simple Things For A Strong Marriage

2 Simple Things For A Strong Marriage

There aren’t really any big secrets about having a strong and satisfying marriage.  It’s not a matter of luck, and it’s most certainly not a matter of being married to the right person. There are however, a couple of things that might help. 

It turns out that the couples who report the greatest satisfaction in their marriage share certain things in common, specifically these two “simple” things. 

1. They spend time together.  Shocking, I know, but you’d be surprised (unless your marriage is one of these) how many couples don’t spend much time together. The successful couples are intentional about making time together, and they protect that time. 

It’s important to know that when we say spending time, we mean quality time, and quite honestly, quality time often comes from quantity time. You can’t just make quality time happen in the 5 minutes you have to spare for each other. Sure, you can be intentional in those few minutes, but overall, it just needs to be more than that. Leftover time to collapse at the end of the day doesn’t really count! 

2. They touch each other… a lot… and often. We’re not talking about big public displays of affection, or even having to hold hands everywhere they go.  We’re talking sweet, affectionate, reassuring touch. The kind of touch that is comforting and connecting. The kind of touching that reminds us that we are safe and connected, even on bad days. This may be the quick squeezing of the shoulders after a long day at work, a hand on the small of her back while out in public or at home, or the running of your fingers briefly through each others hair as you pass by. Those brief tender touches can go a long way.

Now, we realize that these may seem to be two simple things, but they may not be as simple to execute. After all, you’re busy and you’re often disconnected as a couple, trying  to get from one point to the next all day long. At the end of the day, you’re just two tired people who have been running around all day pouring yourselves out. It is for that very reason why these two simple things need to become a priority. 

Left unattended, life will begin to steal from you as a couple. It will keep rushing forward unless you pull back the reins and slow it down. No one intentionally sets out to be too busy, it just happens, unless you don’t allow it to.

Going forward, as you move about your day, take the time to pause and evaluate. If these two things seem impossible, can we suggest that might be a clue that you need to pull back the reins somewhere. It might be time for a schedule change, a child’s activity to be dropped, or hours at the office to be pulled back, if possible. 

Life is hard, busy and often draining, but what makes it even harder, is going through it alone. Take the time and invest the time and the touch in your marriage. Marriage is a journey meant to be enjoyed together!

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