Ep. 12 Boundaries During the Holidays

What do you value? Family? Peace? Your time? Respect? Have you ever thought about a plan on how to protect those things?

 

In order to be able to set up proper boundaries, you first need to know what it is that needs protecting. The truth about boundaries is that they are all about you and protecting whatever it is that you value. Boundaries get difficult when we make them about others. That’s when we feel the guilt of offending or hurting people, so instead of placing a boundary up we self-sacrifice the things we value to make others feel better.

 

The basic rules of boundaries are :

· Your family, YOU deal with boundaries with them. Don’t allow your spouse to handle your family. That is your responsibility.

· Know what you value so you can know what you need to protect.

· Predict and plan for the common problems. Set a boundary in place before you even have to deal with it.

 

To initiate a boundary, you must first ask or state what it is that you want or are willing or not willing to accept. Then you repeat yourself once if needed, and if it is still not respected you initiate an action or consequence.

 

As we mentioned this episode, we are making available our Boundaries video lesson from our Marriage Holiday Survival Guide (*not available for 2020). Please access it for free by filling out the below…

Ep. 11: Holiday Stress

This is episode 11 where we’re talking about Holiday Stress, what it is and what you can do about it! We all have amped up stress during the holidays. Holiday stress is basically regular stress on steroids!

We don’t want you to settle or feel defeated by the stress that comes up every time the holidays roll around. We want you prepared, ready and in fact, actually excited about the festivities ahead.

We share how the greatest stressor for wives is feeling alone in all the holiday prep work, and how they feel like they’re carrying the burden all by themselves. We also share how husbands greatest stressors is worrying about holiday debt, being able to provide and just being strung along without being informed of any pans. Together, their greatest complaint is feeling as if their spouse just doesn’t have their back.

The best way to prevent the holiday stress is to have a written down plan. Why?

83% of people do not have any kind of plan

 

14% of people have a plan and don’t write it down. Those 14% have a 10 times more likely success rate just for having a plan.

 

3% of people have a plan and they write it down. Those 3% people have a 30 times more likely success rate than anyone else.

That’s why we have a free download today for a Stress Free Holiday Plan. Download it, work on it together and put that plan in action! We want you to succeed in having a stress free holiday this year!

3 Things to Help Protect your Marriage During the Holidays

3 Things to Help Protect your Marriage During the Holidays

The holidays are always a time of joy and excitement, but they can also be a time of escalated stress and overwhelm—but then enters all that is 2020, and who knows what they might bring this year! Am I right?!

Regardless of what this holiday season has in store for us this year, we know that these three things are essential in order for your marriage to maintain its health.

Let’s start with PRIORITIES. You have to know what you prioritize as a couple and as individuals. In order to do that, you’re going to have to make a time to sit down and discuss these things. At the end of this blog, go grab your copy of Important Holiday Conversations, and we’ll help you with that. 

The reality is, if you don’t know what your priorities are during the holidays, then it’s pretty much a guarantee that you won’t be prioritizing any of them. This is going to lead to a lot of frustration and unfulfillment. However, when you can vocalize your priorities, you can then, together, strategize, and therefore be sure to keep first things first. This is a must because there’s nothing worse than a holiday season that is filled with hardly anything that you value!

Now, let’s move on to EXPECTATIONS—otherwise known as what we like to refer to as premeditated resentments. Expectations are those things that you have strong beliefs about–like believing that thing will happen, or that person will do that. When it comes to holidays, statistically speaking, the wives feel like the burden of pulling off a good holiday season falls completely on them, which means there’s likely a lot of unmet expectations on the other end of that.

Another big thing with expectations is the ones we often put on ourselves. It’s not difficult to spend the holidays exhausting ourselves while we run around doing all the things that we feel are expected of us. You can avoid a lot of that stress by bringing those things to light in advance and talking them through together. Again, we’re going to help you do that, so don’t worry!

Lastly, let’s wrap it up with this thing we like to call BOUNDARIES. Such a cringy, scary word isn’t it? Aren’t boundaries those things people get mad at you for? Well, sometimes, but the truth is, those people who get mad at you for having them are the exact people you likely need to have them for. So, there’s that.

But really, boundaries actually have nothing to do with other people. Boundaries have everything to do with YOU. They are a way of saying what you are ok and not ok with—they are how you protect your family, your peace and your well-being. People who love and respect you will get that, and actually should encourage it.

Boundaries can get especially tricky around the holidays when parents get upset you’re not coming home for Christmas, or when you can’t go to 3 different family members houses for Thanksgiving, or when you just can’t afford to buy cousin Johnny, who you really don’t even know, a gift. 

Boundaries are essential during the holidays and it is important that you create them together as a husband and wife. Together, you need to do what you need to do to protect your family and make sure you have the holiday that fits who you are as a family. 

As you move forward in creating PRIORITIES, EXPECTATIONS, and BOUNDARIES, let us come with you and guide the way. Down below, go ahead and get your copy of Important Holiday Conversations and let us help you navigate these essentials, so you can have the holiday that you desire.

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