Ep. 21: Part 4 – How to L.O.V.E. your Way Through Conflict

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Ep. 21: Part 4 – How to L.O.V.E. your Way Through Conflict
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This episode was the final episode in the 4 part series on How to L.O.V.E. Your Way through Conflict. On today’s episode we talked about evaluating the interests of both you and your spouse so you can achieve a win/win in your marriage.

Having a win/win marriage is being able to ask your spouse what their win is in addition to just seeking your own. You may or may not realize that when you fight to win, you’re also fighting to make your spouse lose.

There are three ways you can achieve a win/win marriage:

  • Common solution where you both win
  • Compromise where you both give a little for the win
  • Sacrifice where one of you willingly gives so your marriage can win

Getting to a win for your marriage requires working the problem backwards. Determine what the win is first and then figure out how to get there through communicating by using the other L.O.V.E. components like listening, observing the effects of your spouse, and valuing and validating them. Ask them their win, share with them yours, and then determine your marriage win.

Ep. 20: Part 3 – How to L.O.V.E. your Way Through Conflict

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Ep. 20: Part 3 - How to L.O.V.E. your Way Through Conflict
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Today’s episode is part 3 in our the 4 part series on How to L.O.V.E. your Way Through Conflict. We’re talking about how devaluing your spouse can be one of the quickest ways to derail a conversation and turn it into conflict. When you learn how to value your spouse it’s much easier to stay engaged and come to a resolution.

When you value your spouse you’re letting them know how much they’re worth. It’s never a good idea to make your spouse compete with a cell phone, a laptop or a tv screen.

Devaluing your spouse can involves things like: 

  • Being dismissive
  • Minimizing their feelings
  • Disregarding them
  • Using sarcasm
  • Constant interruption

 To head towards resolution it’s important to stay engaged, make eye contact, put down your device, and hear them out.

We hope you leave this episode and forward it on to your spouse or perhaps a friend or two. So many couples suffer in silence before they file for divorce. Be the friend that cares about their marriage and share this episode or any of our other ones. Pass along the encouragement!

 

Quotes from the episode:

“The quickest way to go from a conversation to conflict is to devalue your spouse”

“If you don’t have time to go to counseling or to talk with one another, you definitely don’t have time to argue.” 

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Ep. 19: How to L.O.V.E. your way through Conflict – Part 2

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Ep. 19: How to L.O.V.E. your way through Conflict - Part 2







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This episode is part 2 of the “How to L.O.V.E. your Way through Conflict” 4 part series. Today we’re talking about really honing in on what’s going on with your spouse by the way they react or respond to you or what you’ve said or done. We’re digging a little deeper as we follow up part 1 with some practical tips on how to really observe what the real issue is with one another. Tune in to find out what might really be going on when you’re upset.

 

Find our show notes at https://expeditionmarriage.org/post/podcast/ep-19-how-to-l-o-v-e-your-way-through-conflict-part-2/

Ep. 18: How to L.O.V.E. your way through Conflict

Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey
Ep. 18: How to L.O.V.E. your way through Conflict







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This episode is the first of our L.O.V.E. series where we break down love in an acronym to help you be able to LOVE your way through conflict. On this episode we’ll be sharing the value and the impact of what it means to truly listen to one another in your marriage.

Feeling alone, un-heard, dismissed or disconnected is not okay in a marriage—for EITHER of you. Come on and join us for some biblical wisdom, practical application and the way out of a marriage where listening is hard to come by.

Find our show notes at https://www.expeditionmarriage.org/post/podcast-ep-18-how-to-l-o-v-e-your-way-through-conflict

Ep. 16 Expectations & Assumptions (part 3 of Communication Killers & their Kryptonite)

Do you struggle with unmet expectations in your marriage? They sure are a funny thing, aren’t they? By now, you’d think we’ve all learned what expectations and assumptions get us—a whole lot of disappointment and frustration, and yet we still tend to have them.

 

On this final episode of the Communication Killers & their Kryptonite we discussed the deeper problems with Expectations and Assumptions, and shared how to navigate your way out of them.

 

The first struggle with expectations and assumptions is when we expect or assume these three things:

 

1. For your spouse to have common sense. Truly, common sense just isn’t a thing. It really feels as if it should be, however we can’t share common sense when we don’t share common experiences, upbringings, pains or traumas.

 

2. For your spouse to know what you need. You must communicate exactly what it is you want if you want a need met. Making vague or even frustrated statements does not express a need and quite often your spouse won’t hear what it is you’re asking for.

 

3. For you and your spouse to share communication styles. People share and receive things differently; your spouse is no different. Learning to understand if your spouse is concrete or non-concrete, or perhaps contemplative or non-contemplative, which help out your communication game greatly.

 

Stay tuned for the next episode where we’ll be talking all about sex! Just in time for Valentines Day!

 

Quotes from the episode:

 

“Common sense isn’t all that common because we didn’t all share common experiences.”

“The trash is full” does not mean “please take out the trash right now.” Ask for wat you need.”

 
 

Verses:

 

1 Peter 3:8 NIV