Honey, Let Me Tell You Why I Want a Date Night

Honey, Let Me Tell You Why I Want a Date Night

Honey, I know it’s been a while since we’ve had a date night. I’m tired, you’re tired, it’s too expensive, and we don’t have any time. I know all of these things are true, but yet I desperately want a date night anyway. Let me tell you why…

When we go out it gives me an opportunity to remember who you are and appreciate who you’re becoming. Who we are becoming together. These are things we can only know by communicating, actually having uninterrupted time talking together. We’re both always evolving and I don’t want to miss that. I want to know what’s going on in your life. How you think and feel matters to me. 

I also love us after we’ve experienced a date night. It increases the quality of our relationship. I feel loved and valued, and my love and value for you increases too. We’re a better us when we take time away together. Besides, sometimes I just really miss you and I don’t like that. I wan’t another date night with you. 

Spending time, just the two of us, reminds me that I am a priority to you and it helps me keep you a priority to me. I don’t want to just wish we had time together. I want to make that time of investment in you because you matter to me. When we go on dates I am reminded of our commitment and dedication to each other. I am reminded that you will always have my back and I yours. I really want a date night with you.

Honey, I want a date night with you because you make me come alive. Time alone with you makes me desire you in all the ways, physically, emotionally and mentally. It keeps the element of surprise in our marriage. It brings to the surface the fun and playful side of us that I love so much. 

Lastly, dating you makes me remember all the many things I love about you and why I married you in the first place. So, how about it, you up for a date?

Love,

Me 

Honey, I Will Never Bail on You

Honey, I Will Never Bail on You

To the One that I Love,

When I stood across from you as we spoke our vows, it was easy to give you all of my love and my whole heart. You were the perfect one for me, and in those brief moments at the alter, I felt complete. I was completely sure of my decision to vow my life to you, not in a commitment, as long as you make me happy, kind of way, but in that deep, everlasting, sickness and health, covenant kind of way.

I meant every word I said as I declared my love for you.

As the years have flown by, our emotions have flowed in and out like the waves of the ocean. At times, those waters have been serene and calm like a beautiful sheet of glass, but they have also seen days of raging like a violent storm. It is in those raging moments that I promise to you that I will always recall that day on the altar. 

I must. 

I must, because my emotions are fleeting, my desires are ever changing, and the circumstances of life are out of my control. That day at the altar, the words that flowed out of my mouth between you, me, and our God, they became the anchor of our marriage. I will rely on that covenant to always keep us afloat, even in the stormy seasons.

Honey, I will never bail on you.

I won’t bail because I know the quirks that you have, the ones that drive me nuts, are there to make me better. They call out a grace in me that I might not ever tap into without you. The way you leave your clothes on the floor, or leave the gas tank empty, or the countless coffee cups that have left rings on the table from sitting out all day, those things, as crazy as they seem, they make me better.

It is in those things that I am able to recognize that you have a need for me. I can see that I help you with organization, with being on time, with putting things away that never make it on your radar as you step right over them everyday. I see that I can make your life better by staffing your weaknesses and by showing you the deep love that only grace can offer. I know that I have a need for you too. You bring balance to my life that I often forget I even need.

Honey, I will never bail on you.

The arguments we have provide me opportunity for growth. They help mold me and shape me to become more like Christ. They ask me to level up in my faith and maturity. They encourage me to focus on solutions instead of on giving up. I need the challenge of us so I don’t ever become stagnant in my growth. 

Honey, I will never bail on you.

We were once two that have become one. You are a piece of me, tightly woven together by God himself. I have to choose to fight for you, for us, because in that I am also fighting for myself, perhaps in a way that no one else ever had. 

You were a gift to me, even on days when it doesn’t feel like it. You are the key to making me better. You are the one placed in my life to iron out my wrinkles, inspire the great things I am to become, and to simply walk alongside me. You are part of my healing and my celebration journey.

I won’t bail on you because I acknowledge that there is a greater purpose at work amongst us. One that holds us to the fire to burn away all the rough edges, to refine us and to show the world how Christ loves His own bride, the church. How could I ever allow the world to miss that? Bailing on you, would mean bailing on me, and ultimately it would mean bailing on God, and at the very least, He doesn’t deserve that.

Honey, I will never bail on you.

I won’t ever bail on you because I am not happy, because our marriage is hard, because we have a crisis, because you get sick, or because you go through a trial that changes who you are for season. All of those things call me to a greater love, a sacrificial love, just like the love Jesus came to give us all. And just as He once spread out His arms open wide, inviting us all in to receive the forgiveness and grace, I will always choose to open my arms to you, inviting you in, reminding you…that,

Honey, I will never bail on you.

Because, even in our darkest season and deepest pain,  Christ will never bail on us.

2 Simple Things For A Strong Marriage

2 Simple Things For A Strong Marriage

There aren’t really any big secrets about having a strong and satisfying marriage.  It’s not a matter of luck, and it’s most certainly not a matter of being married to the right person. There are however, a couple of things that might help. 

It turns out that the couples who report the greatest satisfaction in their marriage share certain things in common, specifically these two “simple” things. 

1. They spend time together.  Shocking, I know, but you’d be surprised (unless your marriage is one of these) how many couples don’t spend much time together. The successful couples are intentional about making time together, and they protect that time. 

It’s important to know that when we say spending time, we mean quality time, and quite honestly, quality time often comes from quantity time. You can’t just make quality time happen in the 5 minutes you have to spare for each other. Sure, you can be intentional in those few minutes, but overall, it just needs to be more than that. Leftover time to collapse at the end of the day doesn’t really count! 

2. They touch each other… a lot… and often. We’re not talking about big public displays of affection, or even having to hold hands everywhere they go.  We’re talking sweet, affectionate, reassuring touch. The kind of touch that is comforting and connecting. The kind of touching that reminds us that we are safe and connected, even on bad days. This may be the quick squeezing of the shoulders after a long day at work, a hand on the small of her back while out in public or at home, or the running of your fingers briefly through each others hair as you pass by. Those brief tender touches can go a long way.

Now, we realize that these may seem to be two simple things, but they may not be as simple to execute. After all, you’re busy and you’re often disconnected as a couple, trying  to get from one point to the next all day long. At the end of the day, you’re just two tired people who have been running around all day pouring yourselves out. It is for that very reason why these two simple things need to become a priority. 

Left unattended, life will begin to steal from you as a couple. It will keep rushing forward unless you pull back the reins and slow it down. No one intentionally sets out to be too busy, it just happens, unless you don’t allow it to.

Going forward, as you move about your day, take the time to pause and evaluate. If these two things seem impossible, can we suggest that might be a clue that you need to pull back the reins somewhere. It might be time for a schedule change, a child’s activity to be dropped, or hours at the office to be pulled back, if possible. 

Life is hard, busy and often draining, but what makes it even harder, is going through it alone. Take the time and invest the time and the touch in your marriage. Marriage is a journey meant to be enjoyed together!

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