There aren’t many people who wake up one day and think, “Today’s the day I’m going to start an affair.” In fact, there’s usually a whole lot of deception when it comes to affairs—and not just the deception of the victim of the affair, but also a lot of self-deceptions for the one in it.
Harmless—It’s all harmless, says the Enemy of your soul.
Affairs have to have subtle beginnings, or we’d see them coming from a mile away. Isn’t that how the Enemy works in most things? He causes and creates doubt, deception and a whole lot of smoke and mirrors that breed confusion and don’t allow us to see things for what they really are.
When it comes to affairs, especially emotional ones, they often have a path they go on that looks like this:
Stages of an Emotional Affair
Seemingly harmless—it’s no big deal. So what if I have a friend of the opposite sex? They’re a nice person, a co-worker, an old pal from high school that I’ve known for years—it’s just no big deal to chat online, to go out to lunch on business, or to start a texting conversation with them. This is the starting place, and while it may seem harmless, relationships with the opposite sex are often launching pads into relationships you never thought you’d be in.
Next up is the Butterfly Stage. This is when the excitement starts to build. Pleasure begins to be found in the presence of someone other than a spouse. It still feels harmless and no action has been taken, so what’s the big deal? The big deal is that attachment is starting to happen. Those small little feelings of excitement are meant to be found only from one person, a spouse.
And so it begins—Temptation. What happens next is the temptation to spend more and more time together gets elevated. The text messages, the online chats, the lunch dates start to increase, and this person is starting to become a “go to” person. The temptation to place them above a spouse is now much harder to say no to.
When all of the above have taken place, the final stage is becoming All in. The affair has begun. Conversations are no longer innocent, they include a lot more playfulness, sexual innuendos, and flirting. At this stage there is no doubt attraction has happened. A spouse at home becomes a little more annoying, the personal mind chatter becomes filled with justification talk, and emotional disconnection happens at home while it increases outside of the home with this seemingly once harmless person.
And to make matters worse, what’s now been created is a launching pad for a physical affair. The slippery slope has been slid down. Destruction is happening and the Enemy is laughing and taking great pride in what he has initiated.
No one wakes up one day and sets out to put this plan into action. No one is immune to emotional or physical affairs either, this is exactly why we must stay on guard.
If you want to avoid ever falling prey to an emotional affair, God has given us some great guidelines to follow…
Ephesians 4:27 “And give no opportunity to the devil.” Don’t have friends of the opposite sex.
Mark 14:38 “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Stay on guard and be prayerful. Keep walking in the Spirit and not in the flesh.
Ephesians 6:11 “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” Stand up against the Enemy, call his schemes out. He is seeking to steal, kill and destroy, don’t sit back and take that lightly. Protect the marriage that God put together.
Emotional affairs will destroy character, joy and families. They’re never worth it. Always remember that (Make a quote image) sin will take you farther than you ever thought you’d go, and it will always promise you more than it can ever deliver.
It’s just not worth it.
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