The month of July is always one we look forward to. There’s just something about the summer that increases all the feel-good nostalgia of family. These are the months we have picnics, watch fireflies, go for swims and take vacations—we do all the things that bond us as family and friends. And although summer may not technically be voted as the top favorite season, we think it just might be one of the more anticipated ones.

Summer offers us a season of rest, fun and connection—and who doesn’t want that? We’re all looking forward to the parades, the cookouts, and most importantly the FIREWORKS. Disclaimer here—we’re in SC, and around here, fireworks aren’t just something for the 4th of July, they’re a way of life!

We have them at baseball games, on Friday nights, at the end of concerts, or when someone has a successful garage sale—you name it, we light it up around here! That’s exactly what we want the fireworks in your marriage to be like—a good ol’ South Carolina 4th of July—one that’s held year-round instead of just once a year.  

Here’s the deal—when you were first dating, you had some big player brain chemicals working in your favor. All the ones that light up the pleasure center of your brain and create all that bonding you used to do so easily—those chemicals are what helped make for all that blushing, that giddiness, and those racing hearts you once had. They’re also the chemicals that kept you longing for more—more of each other. 

At first, those chemicals just showed up as little volunteer helpers. They were more than happy to invite in all the excitement and get everything going while making sure everyone felt really good. But, here’s the problem—they don’t hang around for long. In fact, after about 1-2 years, they start getting a little fatigued and no longer want to show up as much. Instead of freely giving and flowing like they once did, they now make you work a little bit for them to make an appearance.

It’s so easy to be connected when you first start off in marriage. In the beginning, you’re in a season of being totally into each other. You have all the time in the world for the two of you, you’re both invested in each other’s interests, going on dates is relatively effortless, and you’re probably young and filled with energy—boy, do I miss those days!

But, let’s be real, things are always a lot easier when your plates aren’t as full and you’re able to run high on those endorphins provided by young love.

A little bit later on, as you get a few years into marriage, those things get a little more difficult. You have busy work schedules, perhaps a kid or two, you have more bills, and married life becomes more about running on a schedule than it does having the freedom to do all the things you once did before.

If you’ve found yourself a little disconnected, don’t get alarmed, it happens to the best of us—truly, it does. But no worries, we’ve got some things you can do to help.

Re-establish a Friendship—You’d be surprised how foundational a friendship is in marriage. In fact, in several surveys, when happily married, long term couples are asked what the secret is to their success, the number one answer from both husbands and wives is, “my spouse is my best friend.”

It’s true, being friends in your marriage greatly increases your ability to forgive one another, to give more grace, and to believe your spouse has good intentions, even when they do mess up. These kinds of actions and attitudes that make up a marital friendship also increase your ability and desire to repair the things that may be broken in your relationship. The reality is, you’re much more likely to work on a marriage when you’re married to someone you actually like and are friends with.

Next, Lean into One Another—Talk about the hard stuff and develop an attitude of resiliency. Don’t ignore problems just because it feels easier in the short term. Over time, those problems multiply and bring their friends. If you learn to address concerns when they come up, they won’t be turn into heavy clouds of dread hanging over your marriage—and, you just might start seeing and believing, that together, you actually can-do hard things. 

When you start avoiding problems, by default, you also begin avoiding one another. At that point you won’t only be not connecting, you’ll actually be actively disconnecting. 

Lastly, Keep God in the Center—This is the most foundational part of your marriage. It’s hard to play a game when you don’t know the rules or understand how to win. There is no one more for your marriage than God is—and He is the One who knows the recipe for success. He knows how to get a big win for your marriage—so why in the world would we all not follow His guidance? And, not only will His way grow and reconnect your marriage, but it will also grow you as individuals. Keeping Him in the center is a win all around!

If you want to learn how to put all three of these essentials into practice, click below and get your 2 day sample of our video led Drive by Devotions. Through just a short, 5-minute video, you will be provided with an opportunity to learn scripture, practically apply it to your marriage, and have good communication by answering some connecting questions. 

So, what are you waiting for? Get started on your journey back to one another today!

Click Here to register for your free 2 Day Sample.