Celebrate Mother’s Day Right

Celebrate Mother’s Day Right

by | May 4, 2020 | Articles

Being a mom is stressful, fulfilling, hard, incredible, and, well, it’s all the things. (Am I right, moms?)

A mother’s mind constantly races. She’s always thinking of protecting her children and keeping them safe, planning what needs to be done, and staying one step ahead of everyone else in the family. Very rarely do moms experience true rest. 

The average mom has a lot of guilt. They worry: am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Are my kids happy? Are they too happy? Are they structured and disciplined well? Are they not free enough? We just never know.

Having kids also means having a constant critic. It’s the rolled eyes at the grocery store with your screaming toddler, the passive aggressive comments about another mom’s child who “would never act like yours,” and fielding questions about what your kids did all day long. 

But the worst criticism usually comes from a mother’s own mind—that ever vigilant critic, trying to make sure you don’t screw this all up. This critic shows up at a moment’s notice, pointing out all your flaws, comparing you to some other mom, and heaping on loads of guilt for taking a much-needed break when there’s work to do. It’s relentless.

Motherhood comes with a high price. While there are many benefits in the form of candy-covered kisses or sticky-handed hugs, most of the benefits don’t show up until later in life. When your little ones grow, they truly start to understand the love of their mother and seeing the sacrifices you made for them.

Moms, you are special—so very special. And we want you to have a day all about you!

So, husbands and dads, it’s up to you to pour out all the appreciation you have for your wives. 

It’s up to you to remind them and reassure them that they’re amazing. And, with Mother’s Day quickly approaching, we want to help. Sign up to get your copy of What Moms Really Want, if you want to find out what the mother of your children really would like for Mother’s Day! But, if she’s already told you a gift, get that too!
52 week couples devotional for newly weds and newlywed wanna be's, even if you have been married for over 30 years you can benefit your marriage
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Newlywed Couple's Devotional

(for Newlywed Couples and Newlywed Wanna-Be's)

features:

•  52 Weekly Devotionals that explore common issues and themes every couple experiences, such as intimacy, love, commitment, household duties, finances, and more

•  Everyday Scripture and Reflective Bible Studies that provide practical solutions to bringing marriages closer to God

•  Action-Oriented Discussion Prompts that hold couples accountable for maintaining their God-anchored vows

•  Weekly Prayers that are specific and relevant to the topics discussed

Taking the Time to Connect during Stressful Times

Taking the Time to Connect during Stressful Times

by | Apr 20, 2020 | Articles

Are you thriving or are you barely surviving stressful times with your spouse?

If you’re like most of us, it’s probably a little bit of both. Many days, we enjoy the slower pace, emptier schedules, and extra couple time, but some days—well, we don’t.

No matter where you fall on the thriving or surviving scale, I think we can all agree that this time we’ve had of hunkering down (thanks 2020) has brought along a lot of stress. And stress does not bring out the best in us. It makes us feel frazzled and worn down, snappy and irritable. It interrupts our sleep. It can cause us to turn on the kids or on one another. In particular, quarantine stress may even bring up marital issues that stayed hidden behind all the busyness and the running around you used to do.

Instead of allowing this quarantine or any kind of struggle, to stress your marriage, allow it to catalyze connection on an entirely different 

level. One way you can do this is by making the time to talk. Communication is a foundational part of your marriage; instead of being tempted to pull away from one another during all this stress, lean in and start relying on each other. Your spouse is designed to be your greatest resource in hard times, and real communication is one of the ways you tap into that.

Even this bad situation can become a catalyst for amazing growth and connection in your marriage. Let’s be real—we’ve all got the time! 

If you’d like to connect on a deeper level with your spouse, we’ve got just the thing for you. You can listen to our Marriage Under Stress podcast episode, you can take our Expedition Marriage Stress Rescue course, or you can start with signing up for your free Stressful Times Conversation Guide below. It’s time to allow this time of stress and isolation to work for a greater good in your marriage. Stop surviving and start thriving!

Do you feel like you are all alone in your marriage?

Are your schedules so busy with work and taking care of your family that you are simply too tired to connect?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could move from exhausted and alone to connected and supported?

To feel like you were part of a team?

Use Coupon Code: PODCAST20
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3 Ways to Lead Your Family Through Fear

3 Ways to Lead Your Family Through Fear

by | Mar 12, 2020 | Articles

These are unsettling times right now…coronavirus, potential job layoffs, bare shelves in the store, all of it. The fear and anxiety buttons have been pressed in many of us, including us. There’s something about the fear herd mentality that screams at us. We can be doing totally fine until we walk by an empty shelf in a store and suddenly feel this wave of panic telling us that we need that thing!

It’s in that moment that we must become leaders instead of part of the herd. We must become protectors of the ones who need it and voices of calm and reason for our families. So, when we pass by the shelves for hand sanitizer, toilet paper, soap, masks and medicines, we must PAUSE and then ask ourselves, ”Do I need any of these things right now”? If the answer is no, walk away. Take hold of that anxiety and walk away, save the supplies for those who are in need.

Calm the anxiety, leave supplies on shelves so others won’t be tempted to buy in fear… like you just were. Be the leader. Take the risk of not having toilet paper.

When it comes to fear, as believers, hoping that you are one, we need to take that stuff captive. Fear must bow down to God, not run off hoarding. Fear begs you to trust in yourself and take things into your own hands, all the while God is more than capable of handling them. It’s the same doubt the Enemy caused in the Garden. Did God realllly say that??? YES, friend, yes He did. DO NOT FEAR.

When the world begins to panic, which it is, when your husband or wife gets riddled with anxiety, which many are, or your children are beginning to fear, it’s time for leadership. It’s time to be the voice of reason and the voice of calm.

Here are three simple, but yet, not so simple things you can do…

1. Know the truth and rest in it. What are the facts? What is the CDC saying the protocol is? What are the steps you should take? Most importantly, what does God say? Learn the truth and then follow it.

2. Sit in the discomfort of being out of control. Fear and anxiety’s most powerful tool is getting you to react. You move, you follow it, it wins, and it grows. Do what you can…wash your hands, cover a cough, all the things, and THEN, sit. Simply, and not so simply, sit back, accept the vulnerability of your weakness and make friends with it. Tell it that you don’t like it, but you will sit with it. Ask it to pull up a chair instead of allowing it to take off in the driver’s seat.

3. Control your focus. Did you know that what you focus on gets bigger? Yep, it’s true. The more you focus on something, the more it gets magnified. What are you focusing on? News, article after article, social media, what ifs and worse case scenarios? I bet when you read those things you physically feel the anxiety increase… You know what I’m about to say now, right?

STOP IT!

Stop reading and focusing on the things that are upsetting. You’ve done step one, do what you can and then rest. You don’t need the overload of information that fear is telling you that you do. It’s just adding more fear.

If you want to lead your family through fear, how about during all of these closures, you sit back, play a game, turn off social media and the news, and once again enjoy one another’s company. For so long we’ve been so disconnected from our families and each other. Perhaps the gift in all of this mess is just that, an opportunity to face fear and overcome it, to reconnect to one another and take back what the Enemy has been trying to steal for generations…our peace, our hope and our families. Enough is enough. Protect your families, protect the vulnerable…

KNOW THE TRUTH…

GET COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE…

CONTROL YOUR FOCUS.

You can do this! God has not given you a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7
52 week couples devotional for newly weds and newlywed wanna be's, even if you have been married for over 30 years you can benefit your marriage
Buy Now on Amazon

Book

Newlywed Couple's Devotional

(for Newlywed Couples and Newlywed Wanna-Be's)

features:

•  52 Weekly Devotionals that explore common issues and themes every couple experiences, such as intimacy, love, commitment, household duties, finances, and more

•  Everyday Scripture and Reflective Bible Studies that provide practical solutions to bringing marriages closer to God

•  Action-Oriented Discussion Prompts that hold couples accountable for maintaining their God-anchored vows

•  Weekly Prayers that are specific and relevant to the topics discussed

Comparison: Don’t Let it Kill Your Calling

Comparison: Don’t Let it Kill Your Calling

by | Jan 30, 2020 | Articles

Running a marriage ministry, being formally trained, and identifying yourself as a professional, seems like enough to feel validated, right? I mean, after all of that, surely you would feel confident and ready for all the people to soak up your wisdom and all the amazing information you have to share.

But there’s just one problem … you don’t.

Nope, you just don’t ever feel totally qualified or confident. Because you know that almost every marriage counselor, or whatever else kind of professional out there, is probably sharing the same thing as you… and, you may actually be right. Others are sharing a lot of the same things. Cue insecurity. Yep, that’s right, even professional marriage counselors can feel insecure (raises hand here)!

There’s such a drive to be relevant, to be different, to have the next new thing, to be owning all the platforms, booking all the clients, and having all the best written books or blogs — basically, a call to be THE BEST. Shoot, if we’re honest, a call to even just be good enough. 

But here’s the real deal, there’s nothing special about being the best or even being different. This goes for marriage counselors, bloggers, stay at home moms, health gurus, whatever. I mean, where is the judge or the scale for that anyway? Isn’t it just imaginary? Aren’t we usually the worst, if not only, critic we have?

What is so wrong about saying what’s already been said, writing what’s already been written, or selling what’s already being sold? What a great scheme of the enemy to make us believe things can only be done once, or done or said a specific way. He has silenced a lot of us by doing so.

You may not be a marriage counselor, but, assuming you are a human, I bet you struggle with this, too. Playing the old game of “not good enough” or “_______ is better than me” is a paralyzing ploy. It is keeping those of us who are offering hope or help to the world, silent. This, my friends, is a game that Satan himself created.

So how about you allow me to ruin the entire game for you? Like, put down your pawn, throw the board, walk away, and completely destroy it, kind of ruin. (Think Monopoly when you don’t own Boardwalk and Park Place)

Imagine for a minute that we actually were all sharing and speaking the same things —  whether it be in health and wellness, medical care, counseling, personal growth, business or life coaching, you name it. What if we all had the same message in our represented fields of helping others and offering hope and healing? What then?

Well, I’ll tell you…. It would be freakin’ awesome! 

Why? Because we are in a battle, and every repeated word is one more voice in the army against darkness. And guess what? The war has already been waged. We’re in it whether or not we believe it.

Friends, whatever you do, if you are a hope-breeder (which you are) and if you have a message the world needs (which you do), I beg you to stand up and say it. It’s worth saying it again. Your voice, especially your repetitive voice, is one more soldier in the army, and the battle has never been greater. We need you in it!

It’s time. It’s time for hope to stand united. Go ahead, put down the heavy weight of comparison and not good enough, and boldly rise up.

And…don’t worry, I’ll be right there, armored up waiting to stand next to you.

Watch out world, we’re coming — with one, big united voice!

Help! My Husband Won’t Go to Counseling

Help! My Husband Won’t Go to Counseling

by | Jan 12, 2020 | Articles

“My husband refuses to go to counseling.” We hear this phrase quite frequently. If these words ring true for you, don’t despair — there’s still hope. If you know that your marriage needs help and your husband is digging in his heels, there’s usually a reason. Let us give you some clarity with four common concerns that go through a man’s mind about counseling:

  • He may misunderstand what counseling is. He thinks he will have to just sit and talk about all his feelings, entering into this overly emotional situation.
  • He doesn’t like the cost, and he thinks it will be a waste of money.
  • He thinks it’s a set-up to be thrown under the bus. It’s just a way to confront him with everything he’s doing wrong.
  • This last one may be surprising — he thinks needing counseling means that he’s inadequate. He feels that he should be able to fix things on his own; seeking help seems to prove that he can’t.

As the wife, your first step is changing your perspective of your husband’s response. It’s not a personal attack or a rejection of you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to fix your marriage, because he most likely does. It’s more often that he’s dealing with one, or all, of these faulty beliefs. When you can get a glimpse into how he might be feeling, you can enter in with empathy.

So, how do you best present your case for counseling? We can help with that, too. Assuming — which we don’t often recommend you do in your marriage, but we’re going to give it a shot here, because this situation does deserve an educated guess — that your husband is dealing with these common misperceptions, we want you to voice truth that counters what he may be thinking. 

First of all, be clear with your desire for a good outcome. Tell him what your hope for counseling is: “Honey, I know you don’t want to go to counseling, but I would really like to, because [this is where you speak truth and clarify your intentions]. I want us to be happier. I want to fight less and yell less. I want us to be a good example for the kids.” You can also add in a bonus, “I don’t like the way I treat you and how I act sometimes. I’d like to work on myself in our marriage too.” 

When you have this conversation, don’t worry about what he does wrong or how he treats you; that’s not the point. The point is to help combat the shame or defensiveness he might be feeling that is preventing him from seeking help. Can you see how he might be able to get on board when you take some ownership too? 

Here’s a couple more ways to bring truth into the conversation: “I know it costs money but I think our marriage is worth it. I don’t know for sure if it will work, but I’d be willing to spend the money, just for a shot of us having a better marriage,” or “I know that I am part of the problem, too, and I just want us to do all we can to make our marriage better. I know you’re not happy right now, and I’d like for you to be. I’d really love for you to go with me.”

Now, you’ve really stated your case. You’ve shared your feelings without manipulation, finding fault, or adding pressure. You’re simply asking for what you want in the least threatening way to your husband, who likely has valid concerns. 

After you’ve shared your heart, if he still says no, then the best thing you can do for your marriage is to go by yourself. Yes, marriage counseling can still be done, and often quite successfully, with just one spouse. Honestly, we often find that the husband does eventually get on board, if anything, out of sheer curiosity or, perhaps, to come in and tell us his side. Then, once he’s in the office, he can find out that it’s really nothing like what he was thinking it would be.

Want to discuss this more or get more tips on having a healthy marriage? Be sure to follow us on Instagram or Facebook.
Buy Now on Amazon

Newlywed Couple’s Devotional

(for Newlywed Couples and Newlywed Wanna-Be’s)

features:

•  52 Weekly Devotionals that explore common issues and themes every couple experiences, such as intimacy, love, commitment, household duties, finances, and more

•  Everyday Scripture and Reflective Bible Studies that provide practical solutions to bringing marriages closer to God

•  Action-Oriented Discussion Prompts that hold couples accountable for maintaining their God-anchored vows

•  Weekly Prayers that are specific and relevant to the topics discussed