The other day, I listened to an eye-opening podcast interview with Lisa Fields, an author and apologetics teacher. She shared something powerful about what it means to wrestle with God, and it immediately struck a chord with me. Lisa pointed out that, as believers, many of us struggle when the answers we receive from God don’t meet our emotional expectations. She said, “For many of us, our goal line for God is emotionally satisfying answers. If the answers aren’t emotionally satisfying, we struggle to accept them or believe they’re true.”
I couldn’t help but reflect on how this applies not only to our faith journeys but also to our marriages. We’ve all had those moments where we’re wrestling with God—asking questions like, “Why does this have to happen?”, “Why isn’t this fair?”, or “Why should I forgive them when I’ve been hurt so badly?” The truth is, those moments of wrestling often come because we’re searching for answers that feel good, rather than the ones that are grounded in truth.
Why We Gravitate Toward “Comforting Lies”
Have you ever watched the TV show Catfish? The whole premise of the show is to help people uncover whether they’ve been deceived by someone pretending to be someone else online. Or perhaps you’ve seen an episode of Dr. Phil where someone, often an elderly widow, has been scammed into believing a far-fetched love story, even as their bank account is drained. In both cases, the victims are presented with all the evidence they need that they’re being lied to—but they still struggle to believe the truth.
It’s frustrating to watch because, as outsiders, it’s easy to see the blatant red flags. The lies are obvious: someone says they’re from Atlanta, but they have a foreign accent; they constantly need financial help for emergencies, but they can never meet in person. And yet, despite factual proof, the victims don’t want to believe they’re being deceived. The reason? The truth is painful. Emotionally, it’s easier to believe the comforting lies than to face the reality of the situation.
How This Relates to Marriage
The same thing happens in our marriages. We may find ourselves in difficult situations—maybe it’s ongoing conflict, resentment, or unmet expectations—and instead of addressing the real issues, we look for emotionally satisfying answers. We may think, “If they would just change, everything would be fine,” or “I’ll feel better once this problem goes away.”But the reality is that avoiding hard truths only prolongs the pain. In fact, it often makes things worse.
I’m not sure what struggles you may be facing in your marriage right now, but here’s what I do know: searching for the answers that make you feel better won’t fix the problem. It will only delay your healing. Whether it’s the need to forgive, to work through past hurts, or to address ongoing issues, it’s time to confront the truth.
Embracing the Hard Truths with God
As difficult as it may be to accept, God’s truth is what will set you free in your marriage. It’s easy to fall into the trap of ignoring the Holy Spirit’s nudges because the truth feels too painful or hard to deal with. But here’s the thing: God’s truth isn’t just something to accept—it’s something that can liberate you and your marriage.
Ignoring hard truths in favor of emotionally satisfying answers may bring temporary relief, but it doesn’t bring lasting peace. It’s like putting a bandage over a deep wound instead of getting the stitches you need for real healing.
So, whatever it is that you’re avoiding, whatever truth you know in your heart that you need to face—take the first step today. Whether it’s a difficult conversation with your spouse, addressing a long-standing issue, or confronting something within yourself, know that God will walk with you through it. He will guide you, sustain you, and bring healing to your marriage.
God’s Truth Is the Foundation for Healing
In John 16:13, Jesus promises, “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth.” The Holy Spirit is our constant companion, ready to guide us toward truth, even when it’s hard to hear. The truth may not always be emotionally satisfying, but it’s where real healing begins.
God’s truth in your marriage may require difficult choices, painful admissions, or a willingness to let go of the emotionally satisfying answers you’ve held onto. But it’s only by embracing the truth—no matter how hard—that you’ll find the freedom and healing you’ve been longing for.
Take heart in knowing that God is with you. He is Truth, and His truth will sustain and guide you, no matter how tough the journey may seem. Trust Him to lead you and your marriage into a place of healing, peace, and restoration.
Moving Forward in Truth
I encourage you today: whatever the hard truth is that you’ve been avoiding, face it with courage and trust in God. Stop searching for answers that simply soothe your emotions and start seeking the truth that will set you free. Your marriage is worth the work. The freedom that comes from living in God’s truth is far better than any temporary comfort you may find in avoiding it.
Remember, God is with you through it all, and His truth will ultimately lead you to the healing and peace you desire in your marriage.
By shifting the focus from seeking emotionally satisfying answers to embracing God’s truth, we can experience the kind of freedom and healing that transforms our marriages. Let’s trust in His guidance and walk in the truth that only He can provide.
If you need help walking through a tough season in your marriage, we’re here to help with virtual marriage coaching and counseling. Check out our services HERE.
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