Husbands often get a rap for being simple and uncomplicated, and while to a degree this is true, it doesn’t mean they don’t have a need for their wives to understand them. As strong and as put together as they may appear on the outside, they can actually quite often battle with inadequacy or the fear of being found out that they aren’t as great as everyone may think they are. 

Husbands struggle with the fear of not being good enough as much as wives do. 

As a wife, if you want to do your part to pour into the life of your husband, here are a few things they need to hear from you.

I believe in you—Your husband needs to know that you are behind him and that you are believing in him. They truly do care about how you feel about things and your belief in them is a big part of what propels them to do most of the things they do. Remind him of your support frequently.

It’s okay to take time for yourself—Many husbands often feel guilty over their desires to do some things on their own that they enjoy. More often than not, men don’t like sacrificing family time for free time, but just as it is necessary for you, it is also necessary for them to have this time—and your encouragement/permission, helps 

them to de-stress in their fun and filling ways without feeling all of the guilt.

I appreciate your efforts—More than likely your husband works hard—and it’s also more than likely that their work often looks easy for them.  But that doesn’t mean that it is. Sorry men, but you’re known for not revealing your feelings to your wives, so it’s not unlikely that your hubby has work stress that he’s not letting you see. He is probably dealing with some things that he doesn’t want to burden you with, so he keeps them to himself. Your reminder that all of his work efforts and provisions for the family will be much appreciated. 

It’s okay that you failed—that doesn’t mean you are a failure. It’s a big deal for most husbands to be really hard on themselves when they mess up or miss the mark. In fact, the fear of failure often keeps many husbands from making bold moves that they would really love to make. Reminding them that their failures are ok and a necessary part of life and totally disconnected to who they are as a person, will go a long way.

I don’t hold the past against you—Wives, put down your scoreboards. Us wives are so good at remembering all.the.things, and it’s not uncommon for us to dump out that whole bag of past mistakes during every argument. Setting that scoreboard down will not only help your husband, it will also provide great freedom for you from carrying it all around. A husband who believes every mistake will be held over his head is a husband who will likely give up and quit trying, because he starts believing that no matter what he does, you will always find something to be unsatisfied with.

At the end of the day, your words hold power over your husband’s life. They can speak life and hope, or they can crush a spirit. A husband who feels believed in, empowered and courageous, is a husband who will impact his family greatly. 

If you want to encourage your husband but don’t know the exact words to use, click the link below and get the simplified list of Sweet Things to Say to your Husband.

The month of July is always one we look forward to. There’s just something about the summer that increases all the feel-good nostalgia of family. These are the months we have picnics, watch fireflies, go for swims and take vacations—we do all the things that bond us as family and friends. And although summer may not technically be voted as the top favorite season, we think it just might be one of the more anticipated ones.

Summer offers us a season of rest, fun and connection—and who doesn’t want that? We’re all looking forward to the parades, the cookouts, and most importantly the FIREWORKS. Disclaimer here—we’re in SC, and around here, fireworks aren’t just something for the 4th of July, they’re a way of life!

We have them at baseball games, on Friday nights, at the end of concerts, or when someone has a successful garage sale—you name it, we light it up around here! That’s exactly what we want the fireworks in your marriage to be like—a good ol’ South Carolina 4th of July—one that’s held year-round instead of just once a year.  

Here’s the deal—when you were first dating, you had some big player brain chemicals working in your favor. All the ones that light up the pleasure center of your brain and create all that bonding you used to do so easily—those chemicals are what helped make for all that blushing, that giddiness, and those racing hearts you once had. They’re also the chemicals that kept you longing for more—more of each other. 

At first, those chemicals just showed up as little volunteer helpers. They were more than happy to invite in all the excitement and get everything going while making sure everyone felt really good. But, here’s the problem—they don’t hang around for long. In fact, after about 1-2 years, they start getting a little fatigued and no longer want to show up as much. Instead of freely giving and flowing like they once did, they now make you work a little bit for them to make an appearance.

It’s so easy to be connected when you first start off in marriage. In the beginning, you’re in a season of being totally into each other. You have all the time in the world for the two of you, you’re both invested in each other’s interests, going on dates is relatively effortless, and you’re probably young and filled with energy—boy, do I miss those days!

But, let’s be real, things are always a lot easier when your plates aren’t as full and you’re able to run high on those endorphins provided by young love.

A little bit later on, as you get a few years into marriage, those things get a little more difficult. You have busy work schedules, perhaps a kid or two, you have more bills, and married life becomes more about running on a schedule than it does having the freedom to do all the things you once did before.

If you’ve found yourself a little disconnected, don’t get alarmed, it happens to the best of us—truly, it does. But no worries, we’ve got some things you can do to help.

Re-establish a Friendship—You’d be surprised how foundational a friendship is in marriage. In fact, in several surveys, when happily married, long term couples are asked what the secret is to their success, the number one answer from both husbands and wives is, “my spouse is my best friend.”

It’s true, being friends in your marriage greatly increases your ability to forgive one another, to give more grace, and to believe your spouse has good intentions, even when they do mess up. These kinds of actions and attitudes that make up a marital friendship also increase your ability and desire to repair the things that may be broken in your relationship. The reality is, you’re much more likely to work on a marriage when you’re married to someone you actually like and are friends with.

Next, Lean into One Another—Talk about the hard stuff and develop an attitude of resiliency. Don’t ignore problems just because it feels easier in the short term. Over time, those problems multiply and bring their friends. If you learn to address concerns when they come up, they won’t be turn into heavy clouds of dread hanging over your marriage—and, you just might start seeing and believing, that together, you actually can-do hard things. 

When you start avoiding problems, by default, you also begin avoiding one another. At that point you won’t only be not connecting, you’ll actually be actively disconnecting. 

Lastly, Keep God in the Center—This is the most foundational part of your marriage. It’s hard to play a game when you don’t know the rules or understand how to win. There is no one more for your marriage than God is—and He is the One who knows the recipe for success. He knows how to get a big win for your marriage—so why in the world would we all not follow His guidance? And, not only will His way grow and reconnect your marriage, but it will also grow you as individuals. Keeping Him in the center is a win all around!

If you want to learn how to put all three of these essentials into practice, click below and get your 2 day sample of our video led Drive by Devotions. Through just a short, 5-minute video, you will be provided with an opportunity to learn scripture, practically apply it to your marriage, and have good communication by answering some connecting questions. 

So, what are you waiting for? Get started on your journey back to one another today!

Click Here to register for your free 2 Day Sample.

Is there a more beloved couple than Chip and Joanna? I’m thinking, no. The love they have for one another is evident. Not only is their love evident, but you can also see how much they actually like one another too. They just have this way of making marriage look fun, don’t they? 

Now sure, we want a lot of what Chip and Joanna have (her taste and talent and his adventurous spirit and fun)—but don’t they make you want a marriage like theirs too?

A Chip and Joanna kind of marriage may not be as hard to achieve as you might think. Let’s see what we can learn to do in our own marriages from these two, crazy talented, love filled Texans.

Chip does the same. We all know Joanna has that garage entirely filled with stuff for projects that Chip has no idea what she needs it all for. You also know that he has sat through countless shopping trips as the bag holder without complaint. Why? Because he loves his wife and knows that all of that is important to her. 

Parent Together and Parent Well—It’s not uncommon for a Fixer Upper scene to involve all the Gaines’s kids. You can find them collecting eggs, exchanging nuts from a tree for cash, or helping to pick out the perfect antique for a house. Some of these adventures they do together, and some involve just one of them in charge.

It’s not uncommon for Joanna and the kids to bring their dad his favorite sandwiches or cupcakes when he’s been working on a house all day—nor is it uncommon for Chip to bring dinner to Joanna when she has a long night of decorating ahead. You see, they work together, they tag each other in, and they model what it is to love one another well.

Accept Each Other for Who They Are—Chip and Joanna could not be more polar opposite, could they? It wouldn’t be difficult for Joanna, a more straight-laced, structured woman with a plan, to be constantly frustrated with Chip, a trouble making, prankster who is constantly on the hunt for fun. But instead, what we see is her appreciation of his ill-timed silliness and his acceptance of the importance of a project done well. Chip loves his fun, but he never has it as his wife’s expense. She appreciates that side of him and he knows his limits.

Seek Balance—As hard as it was for all of us fans, Chip and Joanna knew when to call it quits on their obligations. They knew that in order for their family and marriage to have success and balance, they needed to let go, even if it was letting go of something they loved. They knew their limits as a family. They knew what they were about and weren’t willing to sacrifice their family for anything.

The success of their show was fantastic, but the success of their marriage and family pulled rank. In order for the most important thing to remain successful, they needed to fight to keep it the priority.

Chip and Joanna, we thank you. We thank you for all the designs, for your Target line, and all the things you taught us on your show—but most importantly, we thank you for these hidden little gems for our marriage.

If you want to take this one step deeper, click below to go grab our conversation worksheet on Questions to Ask to Fix Up Your Marriage.

“Simon, Simon, behold Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith would not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-32

When I look around today, it’s almost as if our entire world has drastically changed. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, fear is abundant, hopelessness is running rampant, and racism has become so horrendous that many are finally completely appalled by it, even though there are still those whose pride won’t allow them to see it.

Is it possible that the Enemy has asked permission to sift us and God has said yes? 

I think so.

The sifting of wheat is purposeful. Sifting removes all the useless junk. It gets rid of the unnecessary so the necessary can be all that is left. I think our world has needed this sifting for a long time.

We cry out with our mouths that we love God, yet we place many idols before Him. Our sporting events have taken His place, our jobs, our pride, our children, our finances—they’ve all squeezed Him out. And now, when tragedy hits, we ask, “Where are you, Lord? Why are you not doing anything?” 

Perhaps, He’s where He’s been all the time, on His throne—waiting for us to remember Him. Perhaps in His grace instead of bailing us out, He’s letting us learn and see the error of our ways. 

When God allowed for this time of testing in Simon Peter, it was purposeful. The Enemy’s schemes to test us will never thwart God’s plan. 

Quite often what looks like a win for him is often a setup for a grand slam by God. This sifting was not going to ruin Simon Peter, in fact it was going to transform him—because while the sifting was taking place, the prayers of Jesus were being lifted up, and He had already declared that they would be effective.

While we’re waiting and pleading for the rescue–is it possible that Jesus is also praying us through this sifting?

I think so.

Is it possible that God holds the victory on the other side of this? That’s not even a question—BUT, what is a question, is who will we be when we come out of this—a Simon, or a Peter? You see, when Simon was sifted like wheat, he had a lot of junk to be disposed of, and when it was all said and done, even despite some failures, he was ultimately found faithful. Simon entered into the sifting denying Jesus, but he exited the sifting as Peter, the unwavering rock, boldly declaring the mighty name of his Savior.

And when that sifting was over, Peter arose and found himself taking part in leading 3000 others to the Lord–I bet the enemy didn’t see that coming when he asked for the sifting process to take place! However, is this how we will be found after all of this? Will we come out strengthening our brothers, leading them to Jesus, or will we go right back to our old ways of denying the lordship of Christ in our lives while we settle for lesser things? 

Sifting is about removing junk—removing all that is useless. Friends, my dear Christian friends, we’ve needed this for a long time. There is only One that deserves first place in our lives, and there are only a handful of things that matter on the other side of eternity—so why, oh why do we invest in so many things that will just burn up and waste away?

“Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:37-39

Why do we so easily throw away people, but desperately cling to ignorance? Why do we trust fear more than we trust the God who created us? Why do we quiver at the threat of a virus, but yet stand pridefully and fearlessly in front of the God who reigns over it. 

These days of 2020 have been long and hard–they are not fun times by any means, but we will make it through this. The question is, when we do–when this season of sifting is over, will we once again pick up our useless junk, our misguided thinking, our old ways, or will we finally begin to simply and yet boldly, love God and love others, ALL others as much as we love ourselves?

There’s no doubt that through all of this the chaff will fall to the ground, but it’s going to be up to us to leave it there. So how about it? What are you willing to leave behind? What are you willing to allow God to transform in you?

Oh, and Jesus, while the sifting is being done, please Lord, keep praying for us.

Book

Newlywed Couple's Devotional

(for Newlywed Couples and Newlywed Wanna-Be's)

features:

•  52 Weekly Devotionals that explore common issues and themes every couple experiences, such as intimacy, love, commitment, household duties, finances, and more

•  Everyday Scripture and Reflective Bible Studies that provide practical solutions to bringing marriages closer to God

•  Action-Oriented Discussion Prompts that hold couples accountable for maintaining their God-anchored vows

•  Weekly Prayers that are specific and relevant to the topics discussed

Whether you’re celebrating your own father or the father of your children, we don’t want you to miss the value of dads. Fathers have such a strong role within the family. Even when they’re not intentionally teaching, they’re still teaching. And, if absent, this loss is strongly felt by the family and by society at large. Dads are meant to be the anchor of their families, and, for those of you blessed to experience their presence, you likely felt the safety and assurance a dad can provide.

As we pause to celebrate the fathers in our lives, here’s five lessons your dad might have taught you, or that your children might be learning from their dad now:

To be fearless—For generations, fathers everywhere have tossed toddlers in the air, run behind wobbly bicycles as children learned to ride on their own, and encouraged their kids to take risks. On occasion, dads help you rub a little dirt in your wound and get back up. And these small, simple lessons have been shown to shape less anxious children. A dad’s ability to throw your laughing toddler just a little higher actually prevents anxiety with the ups and downs of life down the road.

To work hard—There are many examples of dads who prioritize work over their families. This should never be the case. However, there are many hardworking dads who prioritize providing, even though they might lose balance on occasion. Don’t miss their dedication to hard work and to doing whatever it takes to provide well. And, if you’re a hard worker, your dad likely helped show you how. 

To play hard and laugh hard—Dads have their own brand of jokes, #dadjokes. They’re all so cheesy, but so beloved. They pop up out of nowhere and rise to any occasion. And the family reluctantly (and also secretly lovingly) relies on them. Dads are the best at play and lightheartedness, and, yes, even sometimes to a fault. But no matter what’s going on, dads seem to always make time for play, wrestling around, throwing a ball, or telling a dad joke. Learn to play like the dad in your life.

To see love in many forms—Even when dads struggle to openly express their emotions, we can still learn to see and receive love in different forms. The dad in your life may need to practice sharing his feelings more. But, if you look for his love, you will still find it. Dad’s love often comes in the form of a pat on the back, changing the oil in your car, slipping you an extra $20 just because, or a long-winded, how-to lecture to keep you safe and help you achieve what’s best. Dads may not always execute love clearly, but that doesn’t mean their heart isn’t fully invested. Dads taught us how to find love in unexpected places.

To believe in yourself—Dads are the ones who teach you how to swing a bat and never give up. They help you get behind the wheel and into real traffic for the first time. When they don’t coddle you or go easy on you, it’s often because they believe in you. They are willing to force you to do brave things, because they believe that 

you can. Your dad may not say it with words, but, when they set you free and allow you to fail your way forward, it’s because they believe in you and think you should believe in yourself, too. 

As Father’s Day approaches, let’s take the time to appreciate the gift of safety, security, and encouragement fathers share. Not all of them are perfect, but a lot of them do the very best they can in the ways they know how.

If you want to gift your dad with something he’ll love this Father’s Day, check out the link below to find The Perfect Father’s Day Gift.

Book

Newlywed Couple's Devotional

(for Newlywed Couples and Newlywed Wanna-Be's)

features:

•  52 Weekly Devotionals that explore common issues and themes every couple experiences, such as intimacy, love, commitment, household duties, finances, and more

•  Everyday Scripture and Reflective Bible Studies that provide practical solutions to bringing marriages closer to God

•  Action-Oriented Discussion Prompts that hold couples accountable for maintaining their God-anchored vows

•  Weekly Prayers that are specific and relevant to the topics discussed