How to Pray as a Couple

How to Pray as a Couple

by | Nov 7, 2021 | Articles

One of the best ways to divorce-proof your marriage is by becoming a couple who prays together. Research shows that couples who pray daily together only have a 1% divorce rate. With those stats why would anyone not want to become a couple who prays together?

As professional Christian counselors, this makes perfect sense. A couple who is coming together in prayer is a couple who is inviting God into their marriage—and if anyone knows marriage, it’s the Creator of it. When you pause together to pray, you are not only inviting in the Creator of your marriage, but you are also surrendering it to Him, trusting that He knows what is best and agreeing that you both want that.

Despite the research and despite what scripture tells us about the power and benefits of prayer, it can still be hard to do. Not all couples are comfortable with praying out loud. They may not know what to say or may not feel scripturally sound enough to voice a prayer. You also may be in a marriage where one of you is a biblical scholar and the other perhaps not so much. A situation like that is a playground for the Enemy to come in and wreak havoc and spread insecurity in.

How to Become a Couple who Prays Together

For starters, don’t be afraid to start small. This can be a quick laying of hands on your spouse’s back in the morning and whispering a prayer of thanks for them. You can also grab their hand in the morning and say “Lord, thank you for my wife/husband. Help them to walk in your will today. In Jesus name, Amen.”

You can also choose a time before bed when you sit together holding hands and just begin to pray silently together. This may seem insignificant, but imperfect or silent prayers will always be better than never starting. 

 Maybe making prayers casual and conversational will be your thing. Go for a walk and just speak out loud your prayers as you go. Tell God what you’re grateful for, pray over any stressors your spouse has shared with you, or simply pray for protection and provisions over one another. Just walk and chat with the Lord.

Finally, pray scripture. Praying scripture is a great way to start praying together. God has already provided the material for you. Here’s an example:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27

 “Dear Lord, you are the God of peace, not chaos, in you there is no stress or overwhelm. We ask that you pour out your peace over our marriage. Clear our schedules from anything that would distract us or create stress in our lives. Help us to not be derailed from what you have for us. Let us be safe places of peace for one another and let us always run to you and not the world for peace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Praying together is a wonderful goal to have for your marriage and we encourage every couple to make it a part of their daily lives together. If you’re looking for somewhere to start or to just begin to pray for one another, you can find scripture prayers just like the one above in our free resources for husbands and wives. 

Sign up to take the 30 Day Praying for Your Husband Challenge or the 30 Day Praying for Your Wife Challenge. Use them as a great way to lift one another up and as scriptures you can also come together and pray over one another together. 

While you’re at it, check out our Couples Devotional too! It’s filled with great applicable devotions, conversation questions, real life stories and prayer. You can’t go wrong with any of these resources. 

Here’s to giving your marriage a 99% rate of thriving and surviving!

xoxo, Chris & Jamie

5 Ways to Make Your Master Bedroom a Sanctuary

5 Ways to Make Your Master Bedroom a Sanctuary

by | Oct 18, 2021 | Articles

There is nothing worse than after a long day of work dealing with people, or a long day at home dealing with little people, than finally heading off to bed together to find that your room is just a reminder of more cleaning and more work you must do. You thought you were finally going to relax but your room tells you a whole other story.
It doesn’t have to be that way!             

5 Simple Things you can do to Make your Room a Sanctuary

For starters, your bed must be comfortable and nice.
I’m sure that women everywhere will agree that the best way to do this is by adding some pillows. Pillows are a simple way for your bed to say, “Look how pretty and cozy I am! Come on in!”  They’re also a great way to make seasonal changes to your room as well. 
If you can’t do anything else, get yourself a nice comforter and some good pillows because your bed is your place of comfort, rest, and intimacy. Your marriage bed should be a desirable place to be.

It will also serve your room and marriage well to invest in good lighting. This doesn’t have to be anything fancier than a simple lamp in your room. You just want to have a way to set the mood by dimming the lights. Dim lights help to calm things down and begin your shut down process for the night. They can also help stir up some romance by changing the mood of the room. 

Another way to help your room become a place of calm is to declutter. If you don’t love it or need it, it doesn’t belong in your bedroom. Your room cannot become a catch all for unfolded laundry, kids toys or things to attend to later. If you must have a place for those things, pick anywhere else aside from your room. It would be better for company to come over and need to slide some laundry and kid’s stuff over on the couch than it would be to keep it in your room. Your home is ok if it looks lived in, your bedroom should be peaceful and sacred. 

You also want your room to remind you of the sweet parts of your marriage. A simple way to do that is to hang some pictures of just the two of you. Print your favorite pictures from your vacations or date nights and give them a place on your wall or on your nightstand. Let your room be a place that makes it easy to remember your love for one another. 

Finally, make sure it smells good! Get an essential oil diffuser or have some candles. Choose a relaxing or mood enhancing scent like lavender and before bed each night, fill up your room with this scent. Not only will it be pleasurable, it will also be a trigger for your brain that tells it to slow down because it’s time for bed.

Life is busy, chaotic and at times overwhelming, you don’t need your room to be. Make your room a place for the two of you to unwind in, relax in, and reconnect – both physically and emotionally. You won’t regret it.

And if you want one more thing to connect you in the bedroom, we recommend our devotional that’s just for couples, the Newlywed Couple’s Devotional, for newlyweds and newlywed wannabe’s. It’s sure to increase your communication and connection. 

Find out more here

Newlywed Couple's Devotional

xoxo,
Chris & Jamie

7 Signs Your Marriage May Be Emotionally Exhausting You

7 Signs Your Marriage May Be Emotionally Exhausting You

by | Oct 3, 2021 | Articles


You might be familiar with all the feelings of burn out or emotional exhaustion; constant overwhelm, a cynical attitude, a mind that won’t turn off, and just complete unrest. Unfortunately, your marriage can be one of the things that might be driving you to all that emotional exhaustion. And if that is the case, it’s time to make some changes.

 

It might be your marriage draining you if…

  • You’re the only one investing in your marriage. You’re the one wanting and planning the date nights. You’re the one wanting to fix things and make your relationship better.
  • You’re the one running the whole show. All the chores, all the mundane tasks that make your household run are all falling on you. 
  • You often feel like a single parent. Your spouse is relying on you to be the primary caretaker, bath giver, meal planner and homework overseer. 
  • You’re constantly worried about your marriage issues. You’re finding it hard to think about anything other than what’s going on at home and in your marriage. 
  • There’s an obvious lack of affection and sex. You’re disconnected and you know it. Your desire for your spouse is lacking, or perhaps you’re feeling resentful that their desire isn’t. They want sex and you don’t, or neither of you have any interest. 
  • You can’t seem to have a conversation without it turning into a fight. Regardless of your best effort, everything you talk about takes a negative turn. 
    You no longer feel like yourself in their presence. You may find yourself just wanting to be alone instead of with them. Just being around them is anxiety inducing.

If you’re experiencing any of these signs it’s time to get a plan of action together. That may mean asking for some professional help, the help of a mentor couple, or just choosing to tackle these issues one at a time. 3 Things to Do When Your Marriage is Struggling, is a simple place to start. Just decide to do something, because if left unresolved, any one of these struggles could leave you resentful, depressed, anxiety ridden, isolated, and, well, emotionally exhausted. And that won’t be good for you or for your marriage.

It’s time to make some changes and we are here to help!


Cheering you on!
xoxo, Chris & Jamie

*Disclaimer: The information discussed here is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.

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5 Ways for Moms to De-Stress this Christmas

5 Ways for Moms to De-Stress this Christmas

by | Sep 19, 2021 | Articles

If you’re a mom and Christmas is coming, then you know the feeling I’m about to describe, it doesn’t really have a name, but it lies somewhere in the middle of high hopes and excitement to complete dread and overwhelm.

Do you know why that is? Well, the stats and polls tell us that a good majority of moms and wives feel like the entire burden of the holidays falls on them. While Christmas is an exciting time and there is a lot of fun involved, it doesn’t take long before you realize that all that fun must be organized by someone, and let’s be real Momma, that someone is usually you.

All that planning, driving around, gift buying, meal prepping, and you name it, can drive even the sanest of moms a little nutso, so don’t you feel bad. It’s not just you! Moms everywhere are standing in exhausted unity!

If you want to unload some of that stress this Christmas, here are 5 sure fire ways you can do that.

 

5 Ways to De-Stress this Christmas

 Don’t focus on the details—I don’t know when we got to the place where we felt that less than perfect is a failure. It indeed is not. In fact, do you know what less than perfect really is? It’s DONE. Yep, it’s just done. This is the year of good enough. Let go of the perfect menu, the perfect décor, and best teacher’s gifts. While you’re at it, go ahead and allow your house to be clean enough too. It’s fine Momma, it really is.

Stay in the moment—Sticking with the spirit of good enough, set aside the desire to have those Instagrammable perfect pictures. By putting your phone down and not capturing every moment you will stay connected to your family a lot more. You also won’t have to hear the grumbles from your kids about all those poses. Fill your mind and heart with memories, instead of your phone with images. Screen shot this Christmas in your mind. It will actually stick around a lot longer that way.

Ask for help—This is a hard one and I get it. You already might be thinking, “No one will do it like me”—but remember, we’re letting go of perfect, or you might think “It’s easier to just do it myself”—spoiler alert..if you never train anyone to help you now, they never will. Let it be harder this time so it can be easier in the future.  You work hard and do A LOT, ask for the help, be specific with what you need. You deserve it.

Take a pass—I am giving you my permission 

now to say no to sending out the Christmas cards with professional pics, no to accepting every party invitation you get, and here’s a big one, even saying no to traveling to see family this year! If you need some help with that one, we’ve got a great podcast episode for you on Boundaries During the Holdiays.

Focus on Jesus—He is the Prince of Peace after all, the reason to celebrate. It will defeat the entire purpose of the season if you miss Him. Make the time to slow down and let go of some expectations that friends, family and YOU have on yourself. It’s time to focus and give Him the praise He deserves, and I can assure you, your heart will be flooded with peace.

 

Here’s to a stress free Christmas!

30 Days of Thankfulness for your Spouse

30 Days of Thankfulness for your Spouse

by | Sep 19, 2021 | Articles

“Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – Ephesians 5:20

I don’t think I’m alone here when I think about how easy it is to take your spouse for granted. After a while, the days, the routines, the chores, and even the hugs and kisses can become mundane. The last thing you want to happen in your marriage is for your love and appreciation to simply become boxes to check off.

How about you take the next 30 days and intentionally give God thanks for the gift of your spouse. If you don’t feel like it because perhaps, you’re honestly not that grateful for them in this season? Well, that makes it an even better time to do it! Nothing helps the negative go away like gratefulness. Let’s get started!

30 Days of Thanksgiving for your Spouse

 

Day 1—Your favorite way they love you

Day 2—A small thing they do every day that you appreciate

Day 3—Your favorite personality trait they have

Day 4—Something they do that annoys you (yep, this makes them who they are too)

Day 5—One of their physical features you like

Day 6—The ways you’ve seen them grow over the years

Day 7—The way they look at you

Day 8—The day you met them

Day 9—The way they parent your children

Day 10—Their flaws that show their need for you

Day 11—The way you balance one another out

Day 12—Your friendship

Day 13—Their faithfulness

Day 14—The chores they do

Day 15—Their providing

Day 16—Your physical intimacy with them

Day 17—The Fruit of the Spirit they show the most

Day 18—They laugh at your jokes

Day 19—The fact that you have them to go through life with

Day 20—The fun you have with them

Day 21—For tolerating you on your bad days

Day 22—The times they chose to stay instead of walking away

Day 23—Every day you’ve had them

Day 24—Their sense of humor

Day 25—The fact they were made in the image of God

Day 26—The many times they’ve forgiven you

Day 27—How they’ve helped you become more like Jesus

Day 28—That they’re your best friend

Day 29—Their strongest character trait

Day 30—That you get to honor God with them

 

If you want some more encouragement on gratefulness and the power it holds in your marriage, be sure to check out Walking in an Attitude of Gratitude on the Expedition marriage podcast.

How to Use Your Marriage as Your Best Parenting Tool

How to Use Your Marriage as Your Best Parenting Tool

by | Sep 18, 2021 | Articles

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

As parents, you have the job to train up your children in the way they should go, which means it’s on you to teach them how to live their lives by God’s principles. While this will involve a lot of intentional teaching and directing, more importantly it will involve a lot of modeling. And there’s nothing your kids have access to more than your marriage and what goes on inside your home. 

By default, your children are learning key things about life just from watching you and how you and your spouse interact. They will learn key things like:

 

  • How to communicate
  • How to have conflict and how to feel about conflict
  • How to love
  • How to be in relationship with others,
    and most importantly,
  • How to be in relationship with Jesus

    What this means for you, Mom and Dad, is that you not only have to be intentional about teaching them these things, but you also must be aware of the ways you may be unintentionally teaching them wrong things.

The good news here is that investing in your marriage and taking responsibility for what you are bringing to the marriage table is half the battle. There are so many good dividends for you, your marriage, and your children simply by investing in your marriage and making it a priority.

All too often as parents, you want to prioritize the kids and put all your focus on them, but the best way you can help your children become successful in life, both mentally and emotionally, is by investing in your marriage. Your safe, connected, loving, God-centered home, will provide the perfect place for them to thrive, grow and learn.

It’s time to not just correct and guide your children, but to also lead them by example.

If you’d like an easy way to assess your marriage and see how you’re doing, grab a free Marriage Evaluation Card for you and your spouse, and take an honest look at your strengths and growth areas as a couple – because when you know better, you can do better.

As always, we’re here to help you Enjoy the Journey!

xoxo, Chris & Jamie

6 Ways to Fall Back In Love With Your Husband

6 Ways to Fall Back In Love With Your Husband

by | Aug 31, 2021 | Articles

I bet you never thought you’d be reading an article with this title, did you? And yet, here you are. It’s probably safe to say that you’re struggling in your marriage, but don’t worry, I’ve got some good news for you—you’re here! And that’s big! 

You’re already doing the very first thing you need to do. You’re trying.

Another piece of good news is that falling back in love IS POSSIBLE!

Yep, that’s right. Love, while most know it as a feeling, is also a choice. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us an entire list of actions you can choose to actively love your husband with. And guess what? There are no rules that say you have to actually feel like doing these things to start them, but here you go:

 

  • Patience
  • Kindness
  • Selflessness
  • Being slow to anger
  • Letting go of wrongs
  • Not keeping score
  • and so on…

It’s important to know that while you’re waiting on feelings to return, you can still choose love. I also think it’s safe to say that God is going to use all that love in action to reignite that missing spark—which leads me to the third piece of good news—He is for your marriage, so you’ve got a HUGE power player on your side!

How to Fall Back in Love with your Husband

Typically, there is a reason for losing those feelings of love, and it’s usually because you have not felt loved or been treated, what you would call well, by your husband. You may have been begging him to plug into your marriage for a while and now that he finally has, your heart has moved on, and it feels too late. Before you completely shut that door, I hope you will give these things a try and allow God to redeem and restore what has been lost.

Start here:

Practice gratitude. Focus on what your husband does right.
Focus on what you do still like about him and be thankful for those things. It can be as simple as, “I’m grateful for a husband who cooks dinner—who is a good father, heck, a husband who puts the toilet lid down.” Walking with an attitude of gratitude has a lot of benefits, one of them being it ignites love.

Remember he is God’s son. If you have children, you already know how you want them to be treated. God is no different. Just like you would want your child to be valued, respected, and cared for, that’s what God wants for His children too. Focus on him as a child of God instead of a husband you’re no longer sure about.

Play and have fun. Go back and focus on your friendship again. Friendship and fun are a foundational part of any healthy relationship. If you’re looking to fall back in love, it’s important to focus on liking your husband first!

Get to know him better. People grow and change over time, and chances are your husband has too. Start asking him questions that will help you learn more about him and understand where he’s at in life right now. We’ve made this easier for you with some questions we’ve created for you to use in our It’s Time to Talk free download. 

Pray for him. It’s difficult to have bad feelings towards someone you are praying for. On top of that, praying for him also invites God in to work in his life as well as yours. If you really want to level up with this one, you can take our 30 Day Praying for your Husband Challenge.

Lastly, Relax and take the pressure off. While you’re working on your marriage and trying to fall back in love with your husband, be sure to not work too hard. Make room for your love to naturally unfold like it did when you first fell in love. Remember those days and what you loved about him then and just take the pressure off and allow it to happen all over again.


Here’s to a new and renewed love.

xoxo,
Chris & Jamie

3 Ways to Make Time for Studying God’s Word Together

3 Ways to Make Time for Studying God’s Word Together

by | Aug 4, 2021 | Articles

There are so many benefits to reading God’s Word together—which is exactly why the Enemy will try to distract you from doing it. But how much time you get in the Word is not his say, it’s yours.

And trust us when we say that you don’t want to be found waiting for the perfect time, a silent home where you can completely focus, or circumstances that make it just right. Heck, you probably won’t get much past Genesis chapter 1 if you’re waiting for the ideal time to make it happen! You’re just going to have to roll up your sleeves, accept that it may not be perfect, and make it happen simply because it’s a priority.

All of it being on you is the bad news AND the good news! Bad, because it’s harder and you must be diligent, but good, because it leaves YOU in control. And, if you know God’s Word, then you’ll know that one of the benefits you have is knowing that the Holy Spirit that lives inside you is bigger and more powerful than the Enemy opposing you. He has equipped you with all you need to prioritize this time.

So, let’s get started, shall we…

3 Things to Help you Make Time for Getting in God’s Word Together

Adjust your mindset. Getting in God’s Word together is a gift, not a chore. It’s not something you have to stress out over doing. Take the pressure off and don’t make it a task that needs to be checked off. Instead, look at it as life for your marriage, the breath that fuels it. As much as you naturally desire your lungs to be filled, desire the same for your marriage. His Word is a good gift. The more you see it as such, the more you will begin to naturally crave it. You don’t have to study it, you get to.

Choose your most alive time as a couple. Are you early bird coffee drinkers? Are you night owls who enjoy moments in bed together at night? Figure this out. What time of the day is your sweet spot as a couple? It may not be realistic to get in His Word if you’ve both been busy all day with work or kids and you’re ready to collapse at night. Bible study would then just become one more thing to do. It also may not be realistic to plan on it every day of the week when you know that your schedule won’t allow enough time together. Don’t set yourselves up to fail. Be realistic and plan times and amounts that work for the both of you, or be willing to switch if your best, most alive times are different.

Get creative. Studying God’s Word together should be a pleasurable time of connection. There are so many ways to study the Bible. You can choose a book like Proverbs to go through, you can do an actual Bible study workbook together, you can watch video led lessons, or you can think out of the box and read a Christian book and then dive deeper by bringing God’s word into it.

You can also study separately and then meet to discuss it, or you can take turns reading it together. The goal, once again, is to make it work for you as a couple. You have the freedom to get as creative as you’d like.

Your time together in God’s Word should be life giving to you as individuals and as a couple. If you really want to start somewhere, you can also check out the Newlywed Couple’s Devotional, the devotional for newlyweds and all newlywed wanna be’s. It comes complete with 52 weeks of devotions, scripture, prayers and meaningful and connecting questions written with both the husbands and wives in mind.

You can grab a copy below!

Get It Here

Sexless Marriage – Why You Shouldn’t Settle For One

Sexless Marriage – Why You Shouldn’t Settle For One

by | Aug 2, 2021 | Articles

Are you in a sexless marriage? Ooh, we’ve got some talking to do!

First of all, let’s define a sexless marriage, shall we? A sexless marriage is one where you are having sex less than once a month or less than 10 times a year. Keep in mind that there are circumstances where this might be necessary or temporarily normal. Newborn babies, medical issues, mental health struggles, medications, just to name a few, are all reasons why your sex life might be down in the dumps for the time being.

And while this information may be helpful, those are issues that usually need to be addressed first… But for the rest of you who are just lacking the desire for sex, wanting more but are married to someone who doesn’t, or you’re just living as two disconnected ships passing in the night, keep reading.

Common reasons for a lack of sex
– and what to do about them

Disconnection.
If you are not emotionally, spiritually and mentally connected as a couple, odds are that you won’t be doing much physical connecting either.  This is especially true for women. If you as a woman don’t feel love, you likely won’t be interested in making it. The catch 22 is that women want to feel emotionally connected in order to have sex, where men often feel the most emotionally connected
when they have sex.

How do you fix this disconnection? You start talking! Make space for daily connection. You talk about your interests and goals, you plan date nights where you don’t talk about the kids, and you learn how to share your feelings and your life with one another.

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Another great way to connect is by taking 2 minutes out of your day to do something that we call the 60 Second Blessing. You can grab yourself a copy with the instructions HERE. It takes one minute from each of you, and it will surely start those sparks of emotional connection once again!

Stress.
We can all collectively say that life has been hard as of late. Perhaps your marriage is experiencing a season of change or has some added stressors, or perhaps you’re in crisis and haven’t been connected on any level, much less the physical kind, in a long time. 

What’s the solution for that? Address the problem! No more sweeping it under the rug, no more waiting for it to fix itself. It’s time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. This might mean professional counseling, some heart-to-heart chats, a marriage workshop, or just forcing yourself to get out of denial. 

Another more lighthearted, yet powerful tip, is to start having fun. Play some games together, watch a comedy, start a new hobby or sport together. Friendship is the gas on the fire of sex. Think back to your dating days, what did you do for fun? Do those things! Make fun a priority once again.

The final disruptor of sex is pornography.
 Pornography is no longer a subject we can stick our heads in the sand over. It’s here and it’s rampant. A big issue with porn and marriage is that you connect to whatever brings you pleasure, and for many men, some women too, what brings them pleasure is on a screen. The screen becomes what they crave and desire, and while you should be connecting and bonding to one another, instead bonding to the screen is taking place. 

If this is you or your marriage, you are not alone, 47% of families say that pornography is a problem and it currently produces more income than the NFL, NBA and MLB… combined. The solution? Kick porn to the curb. It will never be something that enhances your marriage, and left unchecked it can easily destroy not only your sex life, but also your marriage.

The truth here is this; sex is a part of the plan for a healthy, Godly marriage. God designed it for reproduction, pleasure, comfort, and connection. It is the physical manifestation of two becoming one. It should be both physically and emotionally fulfilling, beautiful, and connecting for BOTH of you. So, whatever it is that’s interrupting your sex life, it’s worth it to fix it. You deserve great sex in your marriage!

If you want more on this hot topic, check out Episode 17 of the Expedition Marriage Podcast:
Let’s Talk about Sex.

Here to help you Enjoy The Journey
xoxo, Chris & Jamie

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The Secret to Getting Your Husband to Listen

The Secret to Getting Your Husband to Listen

by | Jul 26, 2021 | Articles

Have you ever thought about how great it would be if your husband could read your mind? Wouldn’t it be so much easier if you didn’t ever have to actually ask for what you need or want?

I mean, it is hard to understand why they don’t see a sink full of dishes and know you’d love some help.

And how come when they hear the kids yelling, they don’t think to automatically respond and see what they need?

And why is it so hard for them to realize that you hate it when they’re on their phones when you’re trying to have some quality time with them?

While it’s unlikely your husband will ever get good at reading your mind, there actually are some things you can do that will help him hear and understand your needs.

Wife Communication Hacks to Help your Husband to Hear you.

Don’t ask backwards.
Wives can often have a tendency to ask for what they want in the form of a complaint. They do this because there’s less risk of rejection or disappointment involved. And let’s be honest, it just feels better when they see you and what you need without having to be told. Here’s what this may look like:

“There’s so much junk on the floor!”
“I’m so tired of the trash always being full.”
 “I’m so exhausted.” 

Now, as women, we can all figure out what these things translate into, but don’t expect your husband to. The next time you want to drop the not-so-subtle hints to your husband via a complaint, instead, be direct and ask for what you need.

“Can you please help me pick up the kids’ stuff off the floor?”
“Hey babe, can you take the trash out?”
“I’m so tired, do you mind if I go take a bath and go to bed early?”

It sounds so simple, but you will have a far better chance at getting what you need when you actually ask for it.

Include your reason.
When you start learning to ask for what you need or when you have a real concern you need to share, instead of just asking for it, include what it would mean to you if you got it or how it would help you feel. This clear communication will share the true need you have behind your ask. Here’s an example:

“I really need you to put your phone down at the dinner table. It would really help me to feel like you wanted to spend time with me and the kids if you did.”
“I would love it if you could help me bathe the kids at night. It would help me be able to feel more relaxed and not so stressed at night before bed.”

Sharing your why gives a much larger incentive to understand and meet your need. Most husbands actually do want their wives to feel like they want to spend time with them, and they do want them to be able to relax. This type of communication lets them see into your heart and understand what the real need is. It’s risky to be vulnerable, but over time vulnerability creates true connection.

Set him up for success.
No one ever feels motivated from being told all that they’re not doing or all that they’re doing wrong. Your husband is more likely to shut down the second something negative comes out of your mouth—for the record, you would too. He may have a history of not listening or disappointing you, but it will never get better if you start with negativity. That only serves to be met with defensiveness, or in a lot of men, avoidance.  Try not reminding him of how many times he forgot something, didn’t do something or how he “always” or “never” does this or that. Skip all that commentary and go right to the steps above. The simpler and more direct you keep it, the more likely he will be to really listen.

If you want to really have your voice be heard, check out the Expedition Marriage podcast and episode 34 to hear What Wives Really Want, and let us do the talking for you!

As always, we’re here to help you… Enjoy the Journey!

xoxo, Chris & Jamie

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