5 Ways for Moms to De-Stress this Christmas

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Sep 19, 2021 | Articles

If you’re a mom and Christmas is coming, then you know the feeling I’m about to describe, it doesn’t really have a name, but it lies somewhere in the middle of high hopes and excitement to complete dread and overwhelm.

Do you know why that is? Well, the stats and polls tell us that a good majority of moms and wives feel like the entire burden of the holidays falls on them. While Christmas is an exciting time and there is a lot of fun involved, it doesn’t take long before you realize that all that fun must be organized by someone, and let’s be real Momma, that someone is usually you.

All that planning, driving around, gift buying, meal prepping, and you name it, can drive even the sanest of moms a little nutso, so don’t you feel bad. It’s not just you! Moms everywhere are standing in exhausted unity!

If you want to unload some of that stress this Christmas, here are 5 sure fire ways you can do that.

5 Ways to De-Stress this Christmas

Don’t focus on the details—I don’t know when we got to the place where we felt that less than perfect is a failure. It indeed is not. In fact, do you know what less than perfect really is? It’s DONE. Yep, it’s just done. This is the year of good enough. Let go of the perfect menu, the perfect décor, and best teacher’s gifts. While you’re at it, go ahead and allow your house to be clean enough too. It’s fine Momma, it really is.

Stay in the moment—Sticking with the spirit of good enough, set aside the desire to have those Instagrammable perfect pictures. By putting your phone down and not capturing every moment you will stay connected to your family a lot more. You also won’t have to hear the grumbles from your kids about all those poses. Fill your mind and heart with memories, instead of your phone with images. Screen shot this Christmas in your mind. It will actually stick around a lot longer that way.

Ask for help—This is a hard one and I get it. You already might be thinking, “No one will do it like me”—but remember, we’re letting go of perfect, or you might think “It’s easier to just do it myself”—spoiler alert..if you never train anyone to help you now, they never will. Let it be harder this time so it can be easier in the future. You work hard and do A LOT, ask for the help, be specific with what you need. You deserve it.

Take a pass—I am giving you my permission

now to say no to sending out the Christmas cards with professional pics, no to accepting every party invitation you get, and here’s a big one, even saying no to traveling to see family this year! If you need some help with that one, we’ve got a great podcast episode for you on Boundaries During the Holdiays.

Focus on Jesus—He is the Prince of Peace after all, the reason to celebrate. It will defeat the entire purpose of the season if you miss Him. Make the time to slow down and let go of some expectations that friends, family and YOU have on yourself. It’s time to focus and give Him the praise He deserves, and I can assure you, your heart will be flooded with peace.

Here’s to a stress free Christmas!

30 Days of Thankfulness for your Spouse

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Sep 19, 2021 | Articles

“Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – Ephesians 5:20

I don’t think I’m alone here when I think about how easy it is to take your spouse for granted. After a while, the days, the routines, the chores, and even the hugs and kisses can become mundane. The last thing you want to happen in your marriage is for your love and appreciation to simply become boxes to check off.

How about you take the next 30 days and intentionally give God thanks for the gift of your spouse. If you don’t feel like it because perhaps, you’re honestly not that grateful for them in this season? Well, that makes it an even better time to do it! Nothing helps the negative go away like gratefulness. Let’s get started!

30 Days of Thanksgiving for your Spouse

Day 1—Your favorite way they love you

Day 2—A small thing they do every day that you appreciate

Day 3—Your favorite personality trait they have

Day 4—Something they do that annoys you (yep, this makes them who they are too)

Day 5—One of their physical features you like

Day 6—The ways you’ve seen them grow over the years

Day 7—The way they look at you

Day 8—The day you met them

Day 9—The way they parent your children

Day 10—Their flaws that show their need for you

Day 11—The way you balance one another out

Day 12—Your friendship

Day 13—Their faithfulness

Day 14—The chores they do

Day 15—Their providing

Day 16—Your physical intimacy with them

Day 17—The Fruit of the Spirit they show the most

Day 18—They laugh at your jokes

Day 19—The fact that you have them to go through life with

Day 20—The fun you have with them

Day 21—For tolerating you on your bad days

Day 22—The times they chose to stay instead of walking away

Day 23—Every day you’ve had them

Day 24—Their sense of humor

Day 25—The fact they were made in the image of God

Day 26—The many times they’ve forgiven you

Day 27—How they’ve helped you become more like Jesus

Day 28—That they’re your best friend

Day 29—Their strongest character trait

Day 30—That you get to honor God with them

If you want some more encouragement on gratefulness and the power it holds in your marriage, be sure to check out Walking in an Attitude of Gratitude on the Expedition marriage podcast.

How to Use Your Marriage as Your Best Parenting Tool

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Sep 18, 2021 | Articles

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old, they will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

As parents, you have the job to train up your children in the way they should go, which means it’s on you to teach them how to live their lives by God’s principles. While this will involve a lot of intentional teaching and directing, more importantly it will involve a lot of modeling. And there’s nothing your kids have access to more than your marriage and what goes on inside your home.

By default, your children are learning key things about life just from watching you and how you and your spouse interact. They will learn key things like:

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How to communicate
How to have conflict and how to feel about conflict
How to love
How to be in relationship with others,
and most importantly,
How to be in relationship with Jesus

What this means for you, Mom and Dad, is that you not only have to be intentional about teaching them these things, but you also must be aware of the ways you may be unintentionally teaching them wrong things.

The good news here is that investing in your marriage and taking responsibility for what you are bringing to the marriage table is half the battle. There are so many good dividends for you, your marriage, and your children simply by investing in your marriage and making it a priority.

All too often as parents, you want to prioritize the kids and put all your focus on them, but the best way you can help your children become successful in life, both mentally and emotionally, is by investing in your marriage. Your safe, connected, loving, God-centered home, will provide the perfect place for them to thrive, grow and learn.

It’s time to not just correct and guide your children, but to also lead them by example.

If you’d like an easy way to assess your marriage and see how you’re doing, grab a free Marriage Evaluation Card for you and your spouse, and take an honest look at your strengths and growth areas as a couple – because when you know better, you can do better.

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As always, we’re here to help you Enjoy the Journey!

xoxo, Chris & Jamie

6 Ways to Fall Back In Love With Your Husband

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Aug 31, 2021 | Articles

I bet you never thought you’d be reading an article with this title, did you? And yet, here you are. It’s probably safe to say that you’re struggling in your marriage, but don’t worry, I’ve got some good news for you—you’re here! And that’s big!

You’re already doing the very first thing you need to do. You’re trying.

Another piece of good news is that falling back in love IS POSSIBLE!

Yep, that’s right. Love, while most know it as a feeling, is also a choice. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 gives us an entire list of actions you can choose to actively love your husband with. And guess what? There are no rules that say you have to actually feel like doing these things to start them, but here you go:

Patience
Kindness
Selflessness
Being slow to anger
Letting go of wrongs
Not keeping score
and so on…

It’s important to know that while you’re waiting on feelings to return, you can still choose love. I also think it’s safe to say that God is going to use all that love in action to reignite that missing spark—which leads me to the third piece of good news—He is for your marriage, so you’ve got a HUGE power player on your side!

How to Fall Back in Love with your Husband

Typically, there is a reason for losing those feelings of love, and it’s usually because you have not felt loved or been treated, what you would call well, by your husband. You may have been begging him to plug into your marriage for a while and now that he finally has, your heart has moved on, and it feels too late. Before you completely shut that door, I hope you will give these things a try and allow God to redeem and restore what has been lost.

Start here:

Practice gratitude. Focus on what your husband does right.
Focus on what you do still like about him and be thankful for those things. It can be as simple as, “I’m grateful for a husband who cooks dinner—who is a good father, heck, a husband who puts the toilet lid down.” Walking with an attitude of gratitude has a lot of benefits, one of them being it ignites love.

Remember he is God’s son. If you have children, you already know how you want them to be treated. God is no different. Just like you would want your child to be valued, respected, and cared for, that’s what God wants for His children too. Focus on him as a child of God instead of a husband you’re no longer sure about.

Play and have fun. Go back and focus on your friendship again. Friendship and fun are a foundational part of any healthy relationship. If you’re looking to fall back in love, it’s important to focus on liking your husband first!

Get to know him better. People grow and change over time, and chances are your husband has too. Start asking him questions that will help you learn more about him and understand where he’s at in life right now. We’ve made this easier for you with some questions we’ve created for you to use in our It’s Time to Talk free download.

Pray for him. It’s difficult to have bad feelings towards someone you are praying for. On top of that, praying for him also invites God in to work in his life as well as yours. If you really want to level up with this one, you can take our 30 Day Praying for your Husband Challenge.

Lastly, Relax and take the pressure off. While you’re working on your marriage and trying to fall back in love with your husband, be sure to not work too hard. Make room for your love to naturally unfold like it did when you first fell in love. Remember those days and what you loved about him then and just take the pressure off and allow it to happen all over again.

Here’s to a new and renewed love.

xoxo,
Chris & Jamie

3 Ways to Make Time for Studying God’s Word Together

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Aug 4, 2021 | Articles

There are so many benefits to reading God’s Word together—which is exactly why the Enemy will try to distract you from doing it. But how much time you get in the Word is not his say, it’s yours.

And trust us when we say that you don’t want to be found waiting for the perfect time, a silent home where you can completely focus, or circumstances that make it just right. Heck, you probably won’t get much past Genesis chapter 1 if you’re waiting for the ideal time to make it happen! You’re just going to have to roll up your sleeves, accept that it may not be perfect, and make it happen simply because it’s a priority.

All of it being on you is the bad news AND the good news! Bad, because it’s harder and you must be diligent, but good, because it leaves YOU in control. And, if you know God’s Word, then you’ll know that one of the benefits you have is knowing that the Holy Spirit that lives inside you is bigger and more powerful than the Enemy opposing you. He has equipped you with all you need to prioritize this time.

So, let’s get started, shall we…

3 Things to Help you Make Time for Getting in God’s Word Together

Adjust your mindset. Getting in God’s Word together is a gift, not a chore. It’s not something you have to stress out over doing. Take the pressure off and don’t make it a task that needs to be checked off. Instead, look at it as life for your marriage, the breath that fuels it. As much as you naturally desire your lungs to be filled, desire the same for your marriage. His Word is a good gift. The more you see it as such, the more you will begin to naturally crave it. You don’t have to study it, you get to.

Choose your most alive time as a couple. Are you early bird coffee drinkers? Are you night owls who enjoy moments in bed together at night? Figure this out. What time of the day is your sweet spot as a couple? It may not be realistic to get in His Word if you’ve both been busy all day with work or kids and you’re ready to collapse at night. Bible study would then just become one more thing to do. It also may not be realistic to plan on it every day of the week when you know that your schedule won’t allow enough time together. Don’t set yourselves up to fail. Be realistic and plan times and amounts that work for the both of you, or be willing to switch if your best, most alive times are different.

Get creative. Studying God’s Word together should be a pleasurable time of connection. There are so many ways to study the Bible. You can choose a book like Proverbs to go through, you can do an actual Bible study workbook together, you can watch video led lessons, or you can think out of the box and read a Christian book and then dive deeper by bringing God’s word into it.

You can also study separately and then meet to discuss it, or you can take turns reading it together. The goal, once again, is to make it work for you as a couple. You have the freedom to get as creative as you’d like.

Your time together in God’s Word should be life giving to you as individuals and as a couple. If you really want to start somewhere, you can also check out the Newlywed Couple’s Devotional, the devotional for newlyweds and all newlywed wanna be’s. It comes complete with 52 weeks of devotions, scripture, prayers and meaningful and connecting questions written with both the husbands and wives in mind.

You can grab a copy below!

Get It Here