The Importance of Spiritual Reflection in Fall: Preparing Your Marriage for a Season of Growth

The Importance of Spiritual Reflection in Fall: Preparing Your Marriage for a Season of Growth

by | Aug 19, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Marriage Recovery & Healing

As the leaves begin to change and the vibrant colors of fall are ushered in, there’s a sense of change in the air. The cooler temperatures, shorter days, and harvest season naturally invite us to slow down, reflect, and prepare for the months ahead. For many couples, this season is an opportunity to enjoy nature’s beauty and make time for spiritual reflection together. As Christian marriage counselors, my husband and I believe that as seasons change, especially in the coolness and coziness of fall, it’s a perfect time to reflect and prepare for a season of growth.

Why Spiritual Reflection Matters

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to get caught up in routines and responsibilities, often leaving little time for spiritual reflection. Yet, pausing and reflecting on your spiritual journey as a couple is crucial if you want a healthy, thriving marriage. Just as the fall season is a time for harvesting the fruits of the year’s labor, it’s also a time to harvest spiritual growth in your relationship.

Spiritual reflection allows you to:

  • Reconnect with God: It’s an opportunity to assess where you are in your walk with Christ, both individually and as a couple. Are you regularly seeking His guidance in your marriage? Are there areas where you need to trust Him more?
  • Evaluate Your Relationship: Reflecting on your marriage gives you the chance to consider how you’ve grown together over the past year. What challenges have you overcome? What victories has God blessed you with? Where might you need to focus more attention?
  • Set Intentional Goals: As you look ahead to the coming months, spiritual reflection can help you set goals that align with God’s will for your marriage. This might include committing to regular prayer together, engaging in a Bible study, or simply being more intentional about showing love and grace to one another. Perhaps it’s time for a greater investment of an intensive marriage retreat like our weekend Marriage Reboot, designed to give you a custom marital plan created just for the two of you.

6 Ways to Engage in Spiritual Reflection This Fall

Engaging in spiritual reflection doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about creating intentional moments where you can connect with God and with each other. Here are some practical ways to do this:

Take a Prayer Walk Together
Fall is a beautiful time to enjoy the outdoors, and a prayer walk is a wonderful way to combine physical activity with spiritual reflection. As you walk, take turns praying aloud, thanking God for His blessings, and lifting up your concerns and hopes for the future. Allow the beauty of nature to remind you of God’s creation and His presence in your lives.

Create a Gratitude List
As the season of Thanksgiving approaches, take time together to create a gratitude list. Reflect on the ways God has worked in your marriage over the past year. Leave an open list on the kitchen counter to add to each day. What challenges has He helped you overcome? What blessings have you received? Expressing gratitude is a powerful way to shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life.

Engage in a Couple’s Devotional
Find a devotional that speaks to the season of fall and the theme of growth. Spend time each day or week reading and discussing the devotional together. Use it as a springboard for deeper conversations about your spiritual journey, your marriage, and your future goals.

Have a Spiritual Retreat Day
Consider setting aside a day or even just a few hours for a mini spiritual retreat. This could be as simple as spending the day at a quiet park or a local retreat center. Bring along your Bible, a journal, and some reflective questions to guide your time. Use this retreat to pray, reflect, and listen for God’s direction for your marriage.

Set Spiritual Goals for the Coming Season
After reflecting on where you are spiritually, set some goals for the months ahead. These goals could be related to your spiritual practices (such as praying together daily), your relationship (such as attending a marriage workshop or the Reboot Retreat as mentioned above), or your service to others (such as volunteering together). Make sure these goals are realistic and achievable, and hold each other accountable in a loving way.

Preparing for a Season of Growth

Just as good farmers prepare their fields for the next season of growth, you can prepare your marriage for growth by engaging in spiritual reflection. Fall is a natural time to take stock, make adjustments, and set the stage for a fruitful season ahead. By prioritizing your spiritual connection with each other and with God, you’re laying a strong foundation for your marriage to thrive, no matter what challenges or opportunities lie ahead in the4 coming days.

As you journey through this fall season, let us encourage you to embrace the beauty of spiritual reflection. Allow it to deepen your connection to one another, renew your commitment, and prepare you for a season of growth that will bless your marriage for years to come.

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*Disclaimer: The information discussed here is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.

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Putting Your Marriage First

Putting Your Marriage First

by | Aug 10, 2024 | Articles, Intimacy & Connection, Parenting & Family

Guest Post by Julie Baumgardner

Our dear friend Julie Baumgardner, Senior Executive Director at WinShape Marriage, knows firsthand the incredible value of prioritizing your marriage. WinShape Marriage offers the perfect setting to unplug and invest in your relationship through their various retreats. Today, Julie shares with us the importance of keeping your marriage at the top of your schedule, even when life’s demands are pulling you in every direction. Be sure to follow Julie and WinShape Marriage on Instagram to stay inspired and informed!

Well, it’s here. The lazy days of summer are coming to a close and the crazy days of fall are within sight! Some of you are counting down the days and others are sad to see the summer end.

Whichever camp you fall into, one thing’s for sure: A new season is here, and there’s a good chance it will be filled with multiple schedules, extra-curricular activities, church commitments, and more to keep up with. 

In the midst of trying to make sure your children are taken care of, it’s easy to let your marriage take a back seat – as in, “We’ll do something for us once things slow down.” However, things aren’t likely to slow down anytime soon. So how do you take care of your marriage in spite of the back-to-school chaos?

The One Thing to Help Your Children Flourish

This may sound counter to everything you’re thinking and hearing, but if you want your children to flourish during the school year, you must put your marriage first. 

I once heard a talk from John Medina, author of Brain Rules. Someone in the audience asked, “What do I need to do now in order to give my child the best chance of getting into Harvard?” 

Medina’s response? “Go home, love your spouse well, and create a safe and stable environment for your child.”

The audience dropped their jaws at this answer. Naturally, they were expecting to hear about all the different activities parents should ensure their children are involved in to set them up for success. So, receiving advice about their marriage probably seemed random at best and illogical at worst.

title pin "putting your marriage first"

Connection is the Best Thing For Your Children

The question for all of us is this: What is the merit behind the guidance? How is putting your marriage first a win? 

The underlying thought is that when parents are feeling connected and their relationship is in a healthy place, it creates a healthy environment at home where children can thrive—where they can learn, grow, make mistakes, fail, and be loved through it all. It doesn’t mean you won’t experience angst as you raise your children, but when you are connected and working together as a team, it is easier to walk through the challenges you will face as you prepare your children to grow and go.

What I have seen through the years working with families—and have been guilty of thinking myself—is that depriving children of participating in this sport or that activity will impact them negatively over time. Even though there often isn’t time or money to do it, this mentality leads most families to do it anyway and just figure it out. The collateral damage is parents feeling like they live in a hotel, spending the day-to-day like ships passing in the night. There’s no time for downtime and certainly no room for date nights as a couple. All this leads to a loss of connection as a couple and a family.

And, as we all know, feeling disconnected isn’t a good thing.

4 Questions to Make This Year Successful While Putting Your Marriage First

This may be the year you take a different approach. Take a few minutes with your spouse and look at everything – your time, jobs, money, the needs of your children, extended family needs – all the things that are currently on your plate. Then consider the grades your children will be in and the sports and extra activities they would like to participate in.

Once you have a clear picture of your current situation, ask yourselves these questions:

  1. What do we believe we actually have capacity for in this season that will still allow us to maintain our sanity?
  2. How many activities is it realistic for each child to participate in, while still having time together as a family?
  3. What can we financially afford?
  4. What amount of activity can we allow for our children while still making time for us as a couple?

Entering the school year with sure answers to these questions could be a game changer for your marriage and your family on several levels.

Why to Put Your Marriage First

Why? Because clarity is kindness. Once you have a clear picture of your capacity, you can confidently pass that along to your children. It doesn’t mean they are going to love the limits, but you are teaching them what it looks like to prioritize what’s most important and problem-solve toward a goal—and one day they’ll thank you for that. Remember, you are your children’s first and best teacher.

Here’s the thing: Riding the wave of raising children will ultimately end. Their job is to grow and go. When they go, if you haven’t taken the time to nurture your marriage, you will look at each other and wonder why in the world you are together. So many perfectly good marriages end because people failed to recognize the importance of nurturing their relationship over time. Child-centered marriages are the ones most at risk for divorce. 

Actually putting your marriage first, making sure you have time to be together— to play, talk (not just about the children, bills or work) and enjoy each other’s company—increases the chances of your home being a safe and stable place, both while your children are growing up and after they leave the nest.

Verses for a God-Centered Marriage

Verses for a God-Centered Marriage

by | Jul 25, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Marriage Recovery & Healing

One of the best ways to cultivate a Christ-centered marriage is for both spouses to seek and follow the Lord wholeheartedly. Placing Him at the center of your marriage allows for direction, growth, and humility to flourish, making your marriage one of the most rewarding and refining relationships you can experience.

5 Scriptures for a Christ-Centered Marriage

  1. Strength in Unity: You are better and stronger together, even more so with the Lord.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12

  1. Prioritize Your Marriage:You will always have things vying for your attention, time, and efforts. It’s essential to make sure your marriage remains a top priority. Many marriages start drifting apart long before they ever explode in destruction. Stay vigilant.

“Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9

  1. Love and Forgiveness: Loving your spouse in action makes it easier to forgive and overlook their flaws and mistakes.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

  1. Boundaries with Extended Family: Setting appropriate boundaries with extended family is crucial. You’re living a life of becoming one, not one of adding more into the mix. If you need guidance, listen to the Expedition Marriage podcast, Episode 44, “Setting Boundaries with In-Laws.”

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

  1. True Love Defined: Always remember what real love is. It’s more than the feelings that led you into marriage.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Verses for a God-Centered Marriage

When you seek to follow Jesus, you will be continually transformed into His likeness. Your goal as a spouse is to support and encourage each other in this journey. Check out the Newlywed Couples Devotional for a great way to make Christ the center of your marriage. This 52-week devotional is biblically based, filled with scripture and practical applications. It’s designed to deepen your faith, spark meaningful conversations, and guide you in prayer—and the truth is, it’s not just for newlyweds!

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4 Ways to Use Music in Your Marriage

4 Ways to Use Music in Your Marriage

by | Mar 25, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Parenting & Family

My husband and I met over music. It all started when I walked into Bleachers, a local bar and grille that happened to have a karaoke night. There he was, microphone in hand, belting out some Billy Joel, and he was surprisingly good. Enough to impress me to marry him–not that night, but eventually.

Almost 30 years later, even though we’ve outgrown our karaoke days, we still find ways to fit music into our lives.

Music has so many benefits, many of which can strengthen your marriage.

Let’s start with mood regulation and emotional well-being. Can I get an AMEN to that for a solid marriage game-changer?! 

In all seriousness, music can lift your spirits, relax you, or even bring up fond memories of the past, like a good Billy Joel song does for us. For this reason, we both like to start our mornings with praise and worship. Turning on good praise music while you’re getting ready for the day is a perfect way to set your mood. You put your focus on God, and usually, these songs are upbeat and get you moving.

use music in your marriage

Music also creates dopamine and breeds connections. It’s something that brings you together and provides a shared experience. We like to use music to set the mood in our home. When we clean, we have an upbeat cleaning-the-house playlist. When it’s cold and rainy, or when Spring is in the air, we have several seasonal playlists to go along with the feelings of the season. Music can enhance whatever feeling you want to have in your environment. 

However, one of our favorite ways to use music is with our food. We’re not wine or whiskey drinkers; instead, we like to pair music with our meals. Whenever we cook together, we play “theme” music. If it’s pasta night, we’ve got some Italian tunes going. If it’s barbeque, we’re jamming to some country, and if it’s burgers on the grill, we’re cranking up some 4th of July tunes. Rocking out, singing, and laughing together over music in the kitchen is a fun way to add spontaneity to your lives.

Lastly, music also can be a great stress reducer. We use music to unwind for the night and start relaxing. When it’s time for bed, we get out the lavender diffuser and turn on soft spa music or nature sounds. It’s a perfect way to calm down and prepare for a good night’s sleep. 

If you want an easy way to add some fun in your life, starting with a little music just might do the trick!

And as a bonus, music is great on at home date night. We’d love to provide you with one for FREE. Go grab yourself a Happily Date Box on us with code EXPEDITIONMARRIAGE!

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How to Keep the Romance Alive After Kids

How to Keep the Romance Alive After Kids

by | Mar 4, 2024 | Articles, Marriage Recovery & Healing, Parenting & Family

If you want to maintain or regain romance in your marriage after having kids, you’re going to have to be intentional about it. A little creativity won’t hurt either!

Practical tips to help keep the romance alive after kids

This may be an unpopular opinion, but if you want to keep the romance in your marriage, you must prioritize your marriage over your kids.

Here’s why:

  • Your kids will eventually grow up and leave, but your spouse is meant to be with you forever.
  • The best gift you can give your kids is the example of a healthy marriage.
  • A healthy marriage makes you better parents and helps you parent as a team.
Keep the Romance Alive After Kids

Don’t worry, your kids still get plenty of love and care. They need food, shelter, safety, and all the love in the world, but they also need to see Mom and Dad loving one another well. They will have so much more peace when they know you two are ok and their home is not at risk of falling apart.

You will also need to share the workload. Regardless of how you choose to run your family and divide up household duties, the truth is, where exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed are present, romance is not. You both need to do your share in running the house and supporting each other. The good news is you get to do what works for you, just don’t keep doing what doesn’t. 

Another way to foster romance is by engaging in healthy, open, and honest communication. If you don’t have emotional intimacy that is obtained through vulnerable communication, then it will be challenging to have physical intimacy. 

Let’s wrap this up with the obvious and that’s prioritizing regular date nights. 83-84% of married couples who have regular date nights report being very happy in their marriage. You may have to be intentional, but setting aside dedicated time for date nights will benefit your marriage and keep you connected as a couple. Want some ideas, check out 26 Ways to Make Date Night as Easy as ABC. 

 

4 Sure Fire Ways to Ruin Date Night

4 Sure Fire Ways to Ruin Date Night

by | Feb 12, 2024 | Articles, Intimacy & Connection, Parenting & Family

4 Sure Fire Ways to Ruin Date Night

If you’ve been married any length of time, especially if you have children, then you know that planning a date night is not as simple as it once was while you were dating. Since it’s hard enough to get a date night on the books, the last thing you want to do is ruin it when you’re on one!

So, you’d be wise to take note of these 4 things that can ruin a date night:

Let’s start by stating the obvious and go with the importance of staying off your phone. This means don’t pick it up, don’t look at it, and certainly don’t use it. If you’ve got kids at home and need to be reachable for them or on call for something important, make sure you can hear it and keep it hidden. This lets your spouse know you are their priority and want uninterrupted time together. 

Even something as simple as having your phone on the table at a restaurant says, “I’m paying attention to you now, but the second that little thing makes a noise, I’m out.” Your best bet is to put it down, silence it, and keep it out of sight. 

Another way to ruin a date night is to talk about problems. This isn’t the time to vent about work, complain about the kids, or point out how your spouse needs to start loading the dishwasher correctly. Bringing up negative things on a date night quickly kills the mood during your time together. Keep in mind that these things are important to talk about, just not on a date.

One more buzzkill to a great night out is to be too self-focused. Try to ask your spouse questions instead of just talking about yourself. Need some help? Check out 5 Questions to Ask Your Spouse When You’ve Run Out of Things to Say. Don’t only ask good questions but also focus on being a good listener. This way, by the end of the night, your spouse will feel seen, heard, and cared for. 

Lastly, not prioritizing your date nights will for sure make them flop. Your night doesn’t have to be perfect, but showing your spouse they matter by prioritizing time with them and putting some effort into planning goes a long way. If you struggle in the ideas department but want to prioritize date night, then we have a gift for you!

We want to give you a FREE Happily Date Box! All you need to do is use code EXPEDITIONMARRIAGE and pay $7.99 for shipping, and you will be on your way to a fun night filled with connection. Get yours today!

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Navigating Intimacy: 7 Tips for When You Have a Higher Sex Drive than Your Husband

Navigating Intimacy: 7 Tips for When You Have a Higher Sex Drive than Your Husband

by | Feb 5, 2024 | Articles, Intimacy & Connection, Parenting & Family

We live in a society where it’s not uncommon to hear about the great need for sex that men have. But the truth is that God designed sex for both husbands and wives, and how much or how little they each desire sex can be varied. It is true that more men statistically have higher sex drives than their wives, but in 1 out of every 4 marriages, it’s the wife who has the higher drive. 

What do you do in this stigmatized situation that feels like things are backward?

As a woman with a higher sex drive, it’s likely that your first instinct is to wonder why you’re not desirable to your husband. This form of thinking is self-protective and likely not even close to being the reality of the situation.

There are many reasons why our sex drives are different, and they’re usually not related to our spouse’s attractiveness. It’s actually far more likely for a wife not to have sex with her husband for this reason than it is the other way around. But constantly asking your husband if he’s attracted to you or questioning why he isn’t will not head you in the direction you’d like to go.

For starters, mismatched sex drives are entirely normal. When it can become a problem is when there are sudden drops in libido, slow fades because you’re disconnected as a couple, or when other health issues or aging are factors. Some of these can be addressed and fixed, and others you can learn to adjust to in beautiful and healthy ways. The couple affected by chronic pain, medical issues, or just the aging couple can all still have great sex.

 

Here are some insights and practical tips to foster a healthy and satisfying intimate connection when sex drives differ:


  1. Open and Honest Communication:
    Good communication is important when it comes to the health of a marriage, especially when it comes to physical connection. Good communication leads to emotional connection, which often leads to physical connection. Believe it or not, husbands want emotional connection, too.
higher sex drive

    You also need to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about your respective needs, desires, and expectations. Create a safe space where both of you can express your feelings without judgment. Make inquiries about health, his mental and physical state, stress levels, or any obstacles that may decrease his libido. Determine if he’s worried about it or if he feels your sex drive is just higher. 

    1. Understand Each Other’s Perspectives:
      Take the time to understand each other’s perspectives on intimacy. Acknowledge that everyone’s libido is unique, and factors such as stress, health, and personal experiences can influence it. Understanding one another’s point of view will foster empathy and strengthen your emotional connection.
      If your husband says it’s not a lack of desire for you, believe him. If you disregard how he really feels, you will likely make him feel inadequate or defective in some way. Remember, a lower sex drive for him can be entirely normal and does not signify a problem, so it’s important to make him feel like he is not flawed in this area.
    1. Prioritize Quality Over Quantity:
      Focus on letting quality trump quantity when it comes to intimacy. Instead of focusing solely on frequency, concentrate on the quality of your intimate moments. Ensure that both of you feel emotionally connected and satisfied, regardless of the frequency. When you are physically intimate, be fully present and make the most out of it. 
    1. Schedule Intimacy:
      While it may sound unromantic, scheduling intimacy can be a practical solution to ensure that both partners’ needs are met. This approach allows for anticipation and planning, creating a dedicated space for intimate connection amidst busy schedules. At the end of the day, we schedule and make room for the things that are important to us.

    5. Seek Professional Guidance:
    If the differences in sexual desire become a significant source of tension, consider seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor. Professionals can provide insights, tools, and strategies to navigate these challenges and enhance intimacy.

    6. Address Potential Underlying Issues:
    If there are potential medical reasons or other underlying issues, such as stress, hormonal imbalances, or unresolved marriage issues, address them. Get hormones checked, see the doctor together, or get counseling. Your marriage is worth it.

    7. Focus on Overall Relationship Health:Remember that a healthy intimate life is just one aspect of a thriving relationship. Focus on nurturing other aspects of your connection, such as emotional intimacy, communication, and shared activities. A well-rounded relationship can contribute to a more fulfilling and harmonious marriage.

     

    Navigating a situation where you have a higher sex drive requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to explore new approaches.

    By fostering open communication and mutual respect, you can create a space where both of you feel valued and satisfied in your intimate connection. Remember, it’s about finding a balance that works for both of you and enhances the overall well-being of your relationship. Mismatched sex drives don’t have to be a problem to be solved. They can often be an opportunity to connect in so many other ways.

    Want more Christian Marriage content? Check out the Expedition Marriage Podcast with Chris and Jamie Bailey.

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    Nurturing a Christ-Centered Marriage: 5 Practical Ways to Include Jesus Daily

    Nurturing a Christ-Centered Marriage: 5 Practical Ways to Include Jesus Daily

    by | Jan 22, 2024 | Articles

    Your marriage is a sacred bond, and integrating your faith into the daily fabric of your relationship as believers in Jesus is essential. Following the teachings of Jesus and incorporating His presence into your marriage will deepen your connection and provide a spiritual foundation for your marriage. 

    If you want to incorporate some practical and meaningful ways to include Jesus in your marriage on a daily basis, here’s where you can start:

    Practical and Meaningful Ways to Include Jesus in Your Marriage Daily

    Start the Day with Prayer: How you begin your day matters, and when you start by inviting Jesus into your marriage through prayer, you’re giving your marriage the best place to launch from. This can be as simple as a shared moment where you express gratitude, seek guidance, and ask for blessings in your relationship. Praying in unity will set a positive tone for the day and reinforce your commitment to having a Christ-centered marriage.

    Read and Reflect on Scripture Together: Take time each day to read and reflect on passages from the Bible together. This can be a shared devotional time where you discuss the teachings of Jesus and how they apply to your lives as a couple. Whether you’re a newlywed or not, we recommend the Newlywed Couples Devotional as a great resource to discuss scripture together and practically apply it to your marriage. You can also choose scriptures that resonate with your current experiences and challenges or share a daily Psalm or Proverb with one another. 

    Attend Church Services Together: Regular attendance at church gives you a shared spiritual experience for the week. Worshiping together and engaging in community can strengthen your connection to your faith and to each other. Corporate gatherings in the church also create a sense of community and give you support as a couple. 

    Pray for Each Other and Your Marriage: Daily pray for your spouse and your marriage. Lift each other up in prayer, asking for strength, wisdom, and God’s blessings. This practice fosters a sense of unity and demonstrates a commitment to supporting each other spiritually. Don’t know where to start? Check out the free 30 Day Praying for Your Husband  or Wife challenge!

    Practice Gratitude Together: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude within your marriage. Take time each day to express appreciation for your spouse and the blessings in your life. Focus on and acknowledge what your spouse does right each day instead of on any flaws they have or mistakes they make. 

    Incorporating Jesus into your marriage daily will transform your marriage

    By weaving prayer, scripture, and Christian values into your daily relationship, you will create a foundation that will withstand the tests of time. Remember, the consistent, intentional efforts to include Jesus are what will strengthen your marriage and bring you closer to each other and to God.

    30 Day Praying for your Wife Challenge

     

    Husbands...Men, if you’re ready to impact your wife's life and encourage her to become
    all that God has created her to be, then you're in the right place!

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    30 Day Praying for your Husband Challenge

     

    Wives, if you’re ready to impact your husband’s life and encourage him to become
    all that God has created him to be, then you're in the right place!

    Find Out More Here

    Unveiling Red Flags in Marriage: 5 Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

    Unveiling Red Flags in Marriage: 5 Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

    by | Jan 8, 2024 | Articles

    Marriage is a journey that is filled with both challenges and victories. While some level of conflict is normal and healthy in any relationship, there are certain signs—red flags—that should not be overlooked. Recognizing these warning signs is crucial if you want to have a healthy and thriving marriage.

    Watch Out for these Red Flags

    Lack of Communication:

    Communication is foundational for a strong marriage. When open, honest communication isn’t present and important conversations become challenging, it may be a sign that deeper issues are present. Pay attention to avoidance of topics or persistent misunderstandings because those are traits that can lead to emotional disconnection.

    Lack of Intimacy:

    Physical and emotional intimacy are integral components of a thriving marriage. If you’re experiencing a decline in affection, emotional closeness, or interest in each other’s lives, then your marriage needs some attention and exploration to figure out what is happening. A lack of intimacy will eat away at your marriage. 

    A Lack of Trust

    Trust is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Signs of suspicion, jealousy, secrecy, or broken promises should not be ignored. If you can’t trust your spouse, you will have nothing to build your relationship on. Addressing trust issues when they first come up is essential to prevent the erosion of the foundation upon which your marriage is built.

    A Lack of Peace:

    While disagreements are natural, persistent and unresolved conflicts that remove the peace in your marriage can be detrimental. Constant arguing, an inability to resolve issues, or the recurrence of old problems are red flags that should serve as a clue that you need to start seeking help in finding constructive solutions. Unresolved and repetitive conflict leads to even more disconnection. 

    A Lack of Safety:

    Any form of abuse, whether emotional or physical, is a serious red flag that should never be tolerated. Seeking professional help and creating a safety plan are crucial steps in addressing abuse within a marriage. It’s never okay to be yelled at, name-called, gaslighted, controlled, or physically harmed. If your marriage fits in this category, check out this podcast episode, Enough is Enough.  

    If you ignore red flags in your marriage, you are inviting in resentment

    If resentment is present, it won’t be long until things start falling apart at a rapid pace. Resentment is like poison for your marriage and can only be tolerated for so long. 

    While these red flags serve as warning signs, it’s important to remember that every marriage is unique, and all couples face challenges differently. Addressing issues when they come up through open communication, empathy, and a willingness to seek professional help when needed can help you navigate the struggles of your marriage and help you build a resilient, fulfilling, God-honoring marriage.

    Your marriage is meant to give God glory, be a good example of love for your children, friends, and family, and be a supportive, loving lifelong partnership, and it’s okay to want it to be all of that. 

    If you see any of these red flags, check out our Restoring Connection Course   or our How to L.O.V.E. Your Way Through Conflict Course. 

    3 Things Your Husband Needs to Know

    3 Things Your Husband Needs to Know

    by | Dec 4, 2023 | Articles

    I don’t know about you, but one of my greatest blessings is supporting my husband in becoming all God made him to be. That’s why I want him to know these things, and I hope you make sure your husband knows them, too.

    3 things your husband needs to know

    3 Things Your Husband Needs to Know

    1. He is allowed to fail.

    Men can have such a great fear of failure, so much so that it holds them back in life. You may not know this, but if there’s a risk of failure, many men won’t even try. Their fear of failure is not something they will usually tell you, but it is a reason behind some of their lack of change or repeatedly pulling back from things. Ultimately, if they fail, they believe that they themselves are a failure. 

    It’s good to let your husband know that you support him in his failures. Beyond that, I always remind my husband that failure is only possible if he quits; everything else is part of the learning curve of growth. I want him to know that I will still be there for him no matter what.

    2. You Support Him

    You also want him to know that you support him going for it, whatever “it” is.  This can be difficult because wives tend to be a little more risk-averse. I know I am! Safety and security are something many wives long for from their husbands, and if we’re honest, some of the things they want to do feel a bit too risky for us.

    While this doesn’t mean you need to approve of every exciting thing he wants to go after, it does mean you need to let him know that you’ll pursue dreams and risks with him. Let him take some risks because those risks often pay off the most, and your belief in him matters a lot. 

    3.You See His Potential

    Lastly, make sure he knows about all the potential you see in him. Let him know that you want more for him and that you don’t want him to settle for being anything less than God made him to be. 

    When your husband is dealing with the fear of failure or when he’s feeling inadequate, there’s nothing better for him than you calling out his potential, showing your belief in him, and cheering him on. What you think of him matters far more than you might know or than he might ever lead on.

    Ensure he knows he can try and fail, and you will still cheer him on.

    Don’t just let him, but also want him to take risks and not be led by fear. Have a desire for him to know that his effort will always mean more to you than his results. 

    If you want to hear more on this topic, check out the Expedition Marriage podcast, Episode 85, What Exactly is a Help Mate? 

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