Is Your Marriage in a Stormy Season?

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Jul 21, 2025 | Articles, Christian Marriage

Is Your Marriage in a Stormy Season?

The other night, an intense storm rolled through our neighborhood. My husband was in the office finishing up counseling sessions, and I was alone in our living room. The lightning was striking so close to our house that I could see massive bolts flash through the trees in our backyard. Each one lit up the entire room, and with every rumble of thunder, my heart jumped a little more.

Within minutes, the rain started pouring. The wind blew so fiercely that it bent smaller trees and sent hail crashing sideways into our windows. It was loud, chaotic, and honestly—unsettling.

And in that moment, I just wished my husband was with me.

Now, I know he couldn’t have done anything to stop the storm itself. But his presence would’ve been enough to calm my heart. Because that’s what we long for in times of fear—someone to be with us.

Later that evening, as the storm passed and quiet skies returned, I couldn’t help but reflect on how much that moment reminded me of our walk with Jesus.

The Power of Presence

You and I have a Savior who never leaves the room.

He’s not caught up in someone else’s crisis, distracted by a to-do list, or busy solving bigger problems. Jesus is always present. Not only is He with us—He lives within us.

“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?”
— 1 Corinthians 3:16

Even when the storms in life, or in your marriage, rage, Jesus may not promise to always calm the weather—but He does promise to calm our hearts. And that kind of peace is more powerful than we often realize.

Storms in Marriage

Let’s be honest—marriage isn’t stormproof. Sometimes the rain shows up as miscommunication, disappointment, or distance. Sometimes the wind is the pressure of outside circumstances—kids, jobs, finances. Sometimes, the hail comes in the form of deep hurts and unmet needs.

But no matter what storm you face in your marriage, you are not alone in it.

Jesus anchors you. He doesn’t pull away when it gets loud, messy, or painful. He draws near.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”
— Hebrews 6:19

Keep in Mind:

Whether you’re in the middle of a relational storm right now or you’re just grateful for clear skies today, here are two practical steps you can take:

Invite Jesus into your fear, not just your fix.

Instead of only asking Him to change your spouse or your situation, ask Him to calm your heart. Let His nearness be your comfort, even if the circumstances don’t immediately change.

Walk closely with Him in the calm.

The best time to build your trust in Jesus is when things are quiet. Daily time with Him prepares your heart to lean on Him when things get loud. The more familiar His presence becomes, the easier it is to recognize His peace in the middle of chaos.

Remember You’re Not Alone

Whether your storm is raging, just starting to rumble, or about to blow over—Jesus is with you. He may not always stop the storm, but He will always still your heart. You are never alone, and you never have to weather it in your own strength.

Let His presence be your peace. Let His voice be louder than the thunder. And let His Word remind you:

“Be still and know that I am God.”
— Psalm 46:10

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When You’re Fighting for Your Marriage Alone: Where Real Strength Comes From

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Jun 28, 2025 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Marriage Recovery & Healing

If you’re in an abusive or unsafe marriage, this message is not* meant for your situation. God does not ask you to stay in harm’s way. Please seek help, support, and safety. You are deeply valued, and you are not alone.

Marriage can be one of the most beautiful parts of life—but it can also be one of the most painful places to feel alone.

Maybe you’re the one trying. The one praying. The one reading the books, initiating the conversations, suggesting counseling. And maybe… your spouse isn’t.

If you’re feeling like you’re the only one fighting for your marriage, I want you to hear this loud and clear:

You were never meant to carry your marriage on your own.

When Your Strength Isn’t Enough

We all hit a breaking point when we realize our human strength has limits. It’s discouraging when your best effort still isn’t enough to fix what’s broken.

But here’s the truth—your strength was never supposed to be enough.

Psalm 73:26 reminds us,

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

God never asked you to white-knuckle your way through pain or pretend everything is fine. He simply asks you to bring your weakness to Him—because that’s where His strength comes through the most.

What If My Spouse Refuses to Do the Work?

This may be one of the hardest places to land in a marriage: You’re ready to grow, you desperately want to heal, and surrender to God—but your spouse is unwilling.

Maybe they don’t want counseling. Maybe they won’t talk about deeper issues. Maybe they’ve checked out emotionally or spiritually.

And you’re left wondering, “How can this work if I’m the only one working?”

Here’s the hope: God can still work in your marriage—even when your spouse won’t.

Psalm 46:1 says,

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

God doesn’t disappear when your spouse pulls away. In fact, He often draws nearer. He sees your effort. He honors your faithfulness. And He promises to carry you when it feels like you can’t carry anything—or anyone—else.

What Can You Do?

While you can’t change your spouse, here’s what you can do:

Anchor Yourself in God’s Truth

Your worth is not measured by your spouse’s choices. God’s love for you is unshakable, and your obedience is not wasted.

Isaiah 40:29 says,

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

Pray—But Release Control

Yes, pray for your spouse. But don’t make their transformation your responsibility. Ask God to do what only He can do in their heart—and rest in knowing He’s at work even when you can’t see it.

Protect Your Heart with Boundaries

Boundaries are not about punishment—they’re about protecting what’s healthy. If your spouse isn’t pursuing God, that doesn’t mean you stop. Keep growing, keep guarding your peace, and don’t compromise your walk with Christ.

Find Safe, Godly Support

Don’t walk this road alone. Talk to a counselor, a mentor, or a trusted friend who can offer support without judgment. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is simply ask for help.

A Final Word of Hope

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness… for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

This isn’t just true in theory—it’s true for you.

If your marriage feels one-sided right now, don’t give up. God isn’t finished with your story. And even if your spouse isn’t showing up, God always will.

Your role is to stay close to Him. To listen for His voice. To obey what He is asking you to do today—even if your spouse isn’t willing to join you yet.

Because when your strength runs out, His never does. None of this guarantees the outcome you may be desiring, but if you abide in the Lord, His direction will be clear, and His grace will be sufficient. He will make straight the path to follow going forward.

Reflection Questions:

Where am I relying on my own strength instead of leaning into God’s?
What’s one area in my marriage I need to surrender today?
Who can I invite into my journey for support?

If this resonates with you, we want you to know—we’re with you. And more importantly, God is with you. He’s holding you, equipping you, and working even when it feels like nothing’s moving.

You are not alone.

Find more paid and free resources at www.expeditionmarriage.org

Want More?

Listen in as we discuss this issue on Ep. 142: When You’re Fighting for Your Marriage Alone on the Expedition Marriage Podcast.

—Chris & Jamie Expedition Marriage

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Want a Closer Marriage? Start with a Closer Walk with God

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Apr 16, 2025 | Articles, Christian Marriage

When you see a strong, connected marriage, you can be sure of one thing—it didn’t just happen by chance.

A closer marriage is the result of two people intentionally showing up for each other. It’s built in the daily choices: carving out time together, having meaningful conversations, laughing, forgiving, supporting one another through life’s highs and lows. That kind of closeness is a byproduct of connection—and that connection requires time and investment.

But here’s something we often forget: our relationship with God works the exact same way.

We can’t expect to feel close to our spouse if we’re not spending quality time with them. And in the same way, we can’t expect to feel close to God if we’re not regularly making space for Him in our lives. Time in prayer, in His Word, and simply being in His presence—it all matters. It shapes us.

And here’s why that connection to God is essential for a healthy marriage:

When we prioritize our relationship with God, we become better spouses. We grow in patience. We become more forgiving, more humble, and more loving—not because we’re trying harder, but because we’re being transformed by His Spirit. He changes us from the inside out.

That’s why a thriving marriage starts with a thriving faith.

Jesus put it this way in John 15:5 (NIV):

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.”

That fruit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness—is what feeds our marriage and sustains us through every season.

Without staying connected to the Vine, we wither… and our relationships suffer too.

So, if your heart is longing for a deeper connection in your marriage, start by drawing closer to Christ.
If you want to feel more united as husband and wife, begin by staying united with Him.

Because the closer you are to God, the closer you can become to each other.

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Finding Peace in Letting Go of Control in Your Marriage

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Nov 15, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Marriage Recovery & Healing

Have you ever noticed how our desire to feel safe and in control can lead us down a path of trying to control everything around us—especially in our marriages? I’ve been there before, and let me tell you, it never ends well. The truth is that whenever we try to control what is not ours to control, we end up feeling anxious and weighed down.

Why There Is Peace In Letting Go

When we attempt to control everything—our spouse’s emotions, their reactions, their choices, or even our life circumstances—it often stems from a genuine longing for safety. We want to avoid pain, protect our families, and keep life as smooth as possible. Trust me, I’ve been guilty of this too many times. But the reality is, we weren’t designed to carry that weight. God didn’t create us to control every outcome or anticipate and prevent every bad thing from happening.

The more we try to take on the role of protector, peacekeeper, and life manager for our spouse, the more overwhelming it becomes. And what’s the result? We’re left feeling anxious, frustrated, and disconnected from the very person we’re trying to protect.
The reason is simple: we weren’t meant to be in control.
God is.

In Proverbs 3:5-6, we’re reminded of this foundational truth: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” This is God’s gracious invitation for us to loosen our tight grip on control and instead place our trust in Him. He calls us to release the weight we’ve been trying to carry and believe that He is more than capable of handling what we cannot.

If you’re feeling that constant tension of trying to keep everything in line—whether it’s managing your spouse, your marriage, or preventing every possible problem in your family—take heart. Not only do you not have to be in control, but you also aren’t supposed to be. When you release that need to manage every outcome, you make room for God to work in your life. You create space for His peace to replace your anxiety. (Insert deep breath here.)

Start With One Thing

Psalm 46:10 offers this beautiful reminder: “Be still, and know that I am God.” When we allow ourselves to be still and trust that God is in control, we find the safety we’ve been searching for—not in our ability to manage everything, but in God’s unwavering faithfulness.

So, here’s a question to ask yourself today: What’s one area in your marriage or family where you’re holding on too tightly? Where have you been trying to control something that isn’t yours to control? Take a moment to reflect on it. Whatever it is, I encourage you to release it into God’s hands. He is trustworthy, He is good, and He is more than able to carry what you cannot.

Let go of the anxiety that comes with trying to be in control, and lean into the peace that comes from trusting God instead. Remember, He’s got you, your spouse, and your family in His loving and capable hands.

6 Milestones to be Celebrated in Your Christian Marriage

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Sep 17, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage

As a Christian marriage counselor, I’ve had the privilege of witnessing and helping countless couples navigate the beautiful yet challenging journey of marriage. One thing I’ve learned along the way is that celebrating milestones—both big and small—can play a large role in creating appreciation for your marriage. The milestone moments I’m referring to are more than dates on a calendar; they are opportunities to reflect on the grace of God in your marriage, to rekindle your love, and to reaffirm your commitment to each other.

Here are some important marriage milestones that every couple should celebrate:

Wedding Anniversaries: These yearly dates testify to your endurance and love.

Wedding anniversaries are the most obvious milestones but also some of the most important. Each year of marriage is a testimony to the endurance of your love and the faithfulness of God. Whether it’s your first or your fiftieth, take time to celebrate how far you’ve come. Reflect on the vows you made, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the ways your love has deepened over the years.

Consider renewing your vows, taking a special trip, or simply spending the day reminiscing together.

The Birth or Adoption of a Child: New life into your family always deserves recognition.

The arrival of a child is one of the most profound milestones in any marriage. It marks a shift in your relationship from being just a couple to becoming a family. This is a moment to celebrate not only the gift of new life but also the expansion of your love and the responsibilities you now share.

Celebrate this milestone as more than just a birthday in the family. Celebrate it as a couple by reflecting on how your roles are changing and how you can support each other in this new season of life.

Major Achievements: You’re reaching goals together!

Whether it’s buying your first home, paying off a significant debt, or reaching a career milestone, these achievements are worth celebrating. They represent the hard work, dedication, and teamwork of your marriage. These moments are not just personal victories; they are triumphs for your marriage as well.

Celebrate by taking a special trip, having a nice dinner, or simply spending time together, reflecting on how God has provided and how you’ve grown as a couple. These celebrations help reinforce your shared goals and the fact that you’re still on this journey together, cheering one another on.

Overcoming Challenges: Don’t underestimate victory in your trials.

Every marriage faces trials—whether it’s health issues, financial struggles, or relational problems. Overcoming these challenges is a significant milestone that deserves recognition. These moments remind us of God’s faithfulness and the strength that comes from leaning on each other and on Him.

Consider celebrating by encouraging other couples and hosting a prayer night with your friends. You never know who needs to hear what the Lord has been faithful to do in your trials. Share your testimony in a group, or have a quiet evening together to look back on how far you’ve come. Use this time to thank God for His provision, especially in a season when you weren’t sure you’d survive it.

Spiritual Growth: Take the opportunity to deepen your faith together.

Spiritual growth is a constant journey, and there will be milestones along the way that are worth celebrating. Perhaps you’ve completed a Bible study together, started a family devotional time, or made a significant step in your spiritual walk as a couple. These moments represent the foundation of your marriage—your shared faith in Christ.

Celebrate spiritual milestones by sharing what you’ve learned with others. Maybe it’s time for you to mentor another couple, open your home to a life group, and teach others what has kept you spiritually strong. These celebrations are a way to keep Christ at the center of your marriage, reminding you both that your relationship is ultimately rooted in Him.

6 milestones to celebrate in your marriage

Milestones in Intimacy: You’re growing closer as one!

Intimacy in marriage goes beyond physical connection and includes emotional and spiritual closeness. Celebrate milestones in intimacy, such as overcoming a period of distance, resolving a long-standing conflict, or simply rediscovering each other’s hearts.

Consider planning a romantic getaway, a special date night, or writing letters expressing your love and appreciation to each other. These celebrations help to reignite that fire of connection and even more intimacy.

Embrace Every Milestone: It’s worth it!

In marriage, every milestone—whether a major life event or a small step forward—is an opportunity to celebrate the love, faith, and commitment you share. These celebrations mark your marriage, reminding you of where you’ve been, what you’ve overcome, and where you’re headed. They are also reminders of God’s presence in your marriage, as He has faithfully guided you every step of the way.

So, take the time to celebrate these milestones. They are not just for you but for your marriage—a gift from God that deserves to be honored and cherished every day.

The Importance of Spiritual Reflection in Fall: Preparing Your Marriage for a Season of Growth

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Aug 19, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage

As the leaves begin to change and the vibrant colors of fall are ushered in, there’s a sense of change in the air. The cooler temperatures, shorter days, and harvest season naturally invite us to slow down, reflect, and prepare for the months ahead. For many couples, this season is an opportunity to enjoy nature’s beauty and make time for spiritual reflection together. As Christian marriage counselors, my husband and I believe that as seasons change, especially in the coolness and coziness of fall, it’s a perfect time to reflect and prepare for a season of growth.

Why Spiritual Reflection Matters

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to get caught up in routines and responsibilities, often leaving little time for spiritual reflection. Yet, pausing and reflecting on your spiritual journey as a couple is crucial if you want a healthy, thriving marriage. Just as the fall season is a time for harvesting the fruits of the year’s labor, it’s also a time to harvest spiritual growth in your relationship.

Spiritual reflection allows you to:

Reconnect with God: It’s an opportunity to assess where you are in your walk with Christ, both individually and as a couple. Are you regularly seeking His guidance in your marriage? Are there areas where you need to trust Him more?
Evaluate Your Relationship: Reflecting on your marriage gives you the chance to consider how you’ve grown together over the past year. What challenges have you overcome? What victories has God blessed you with? Where might you need to focus more attention?
Set Intentional Goals: As you look ahead to the coming months, spiritual reflection can help you set goals that align with God’s will for your marriage. This might include committing to regular prayer together, engaging in a Bible study, or simply being more intentional about showing love and grace to one another. Perhaps it’s time for a greater investment of an intensive marriage retreat like our weekend Marriage Reboot, designed to give you a custom marital plan created just for the two of you.

6 Ways to Engage in Spiritual Reflection This Fall

Engaging in spiritual reflection doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about creating intentional moments where you can connect with God and with each other. Here are some practical ways to do this:

Take a Prayer Walk Together
Fall is a beautiful time to enjoy the outdoors, and a prayer walk is a wonderful way to combine physical activity with spiritual reflection. As you walk, take turns praying aloud, thanking God for His blessings, and lifting up your concerns and hopes for the future. Allow the beauty of nature to remind you of God’s creation and His presence in your lives.

Create a Gratitude List
As the season of Thanksgiving approaches, take time together to create a gratitude list. Reflect on the ways God has worked in your marriage over the past year. Leave an open list on the kitchen counter to add to each day. What challenges has He helped you overcome? What blessings have you received? Expressing gratitude is a powerful way to shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life.

Engage in a Couple’s Devotional
Find a devotional that speaks to the season of fall and the theme of growth. Spend time each day or week reading and discussing the devotional together. Use it as a springboard for deeper conversations about your spiritual journey, your marriage, and your future goals.

Have a Spiritual Retreat Day
Consider setting aside a day or even just a few hours for a mini spiritual retreat. This could be as simple as spending the day at a quiet park or a local retreat center. Bring along your Bible, a journal, and some reflective questions to guide your time. Use this retreat to pray, reflect, and listen for God’s direction for your marriage.

Set Spiritual Goals for the Coming Season
After reflecting on where you are spiritually, set some goals for the months ahead. These goals could be related to your spiritual practices (such as praying together daily), your relationship (such as attending a marriage workshop or the Reboot Retreat as mentioned above), or your service to others (such as volunteering together). Make sure these goals are realistic and achievable, and hold each other accountable in a loving way.

Preparing for a Season of Growth

Just as good farmers prepare their fields for the next season of growth, you can prepare your marriage for growth by engaging in spiritual reflection. Fall is a natural time to take stock, make adjustments, and set the stage for a fruitful season ahead. By prioritizing your spiritual connection with each other and with God, you’re laying a strong foundation for your marriage to thrive, no matter what challenges or opportunities lie ahead in the4 coming days.

As you journey through this fall season, let us encourage you to embrace the beauty of spiritual reflection. Allow it to deepen your connection to one another, renew your commitment, and prepare you for a season of growth that will bless your marriage for years to come.

To find out more about the Marriage Reboot

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*Disclaimer: The information discussed here is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.