The Importance of Spiritual Reflection in Fall: Preparing Your Marriage for a Season of Growth

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Aug 19, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Marriage Recovery & Healing

As the leaves begin to change and the vibrant colors of fall are ushered in, there’s a sense of change in the air. The cooler temperatures, shorter days, and harvest season naturally invite us to slow down, reflect, and prepare for the months ahead. For many couples, this season is an opportunity to enjoy nature’s beauty and make time for spiritual reflection together. As Christian marriage counselors, my husband and I believe that as seasons change, especially in the coolness and coziness of fall, it’s a perfect time to reflect and prepare for a season of growth.

Why Spiritual Reflection Matters

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to get caught up in routines and responsibilities, often leaving little time for spiritual reflection. Yet, pausing and reflecting on your spiritual journey as a couple is crucial if you want a healthy, thriving marriage. Just as the fall season is a time for harvesting the fruits of the year’s labor, it’s also a time to harvest spiritual growth in your relationship.

Spiritual reflection allows you to:

Reconnect with God: It’s an opportunity to assess where you are in your walk with Christ, both individually and as a couple. Are you regularly seeking His guidance in your marriage? Are there areas where you need to trust Him more?
Evaluate Your Relationship: Reflecting on your marriage gives you the chance to consider how you’ve grown together over the past year. What challenges have you overcome? What victories has God blessed you with? Where might you need to focus more attention?
Set Intentional Goals: As you look ahead to the coming months, spiritual reflection can help you set goals that align with God’s will for your marriage. This might include committing to regular prayer together, engaging in a Bible study, or simply being more intentional about showing love and grace to one another. Perhaps it’s time for a greater investment of an intensive marriage retreat like our weekend Marriage Reboot, designed to give you a custom marital plan created just for the two of you.

6 Ways to Engage in Spiritual Reflection This Fall

Engaging in spiritual reflection doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s about creating intentional moments where you can connect with God and with each other. Here are some practical ways to do this:

Take a Prayer Walk Together
Fall is a beautiful time to enjoy the outdoors, and a prayer walk is a wonderful way to combine physical activity with spiritual reflection. As you walk, take turns praying aloud, thanking God for His blessings, and lifting up your concerns and hopes for the future. Allow the beauty of nature to remind you of God’s creation and His presence in your lives.

Create a Gratitude List
As the season of Thanksgiving approaches, take time together to create a gratitude list. Reflect on the ways God has worked in your marriage over the past year. Leave an open list on the kitchen counter to add to each day. What challenges has He helped you overcome? What blessings have you received? Expressing gratitude is a powerful way to shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant in your life.

Engage in a Couple’s Devotional
Find a devotional that speaks to the season of fall and the theme of growth. Spend time each day or week reading and discussing the devotional together. Use it as a springboard for deeper conversations about your spiritual journey, your marriage, and your future goals.

Have a Spiritual Retreat Day
Consider setting aside a day or even just a few hours for a mini spiritual retreat. This could be as simple as spending the day at a quiet park or a local retreat center. Bring along your Bible, a journal, and some reflective questions to guide your time. Use this retreat to pray, reflect, and listen for God’s direction for your marriage.

Set Spiritual Goals for the Coming Season
After reflecting on where you are spiritually, set some goals for the months ahead. These goals could be related to your spiritual practices (such as praying together daily), your relationship (such as attending a marriage workshop or the Reboot Retreat as mentioned above), or your service to others (such as volunteering together). Make sure these goals are realistic and achievable, and hold each other accountable in a loving way.

Preparing for a Season of Growth

Just as good farmers prepare their fields for the next season of growth, you can prepare your marriage for growth by engaging in spiritual reflection. Fall is a natural time to take stock, make adjustments, and set the stage for a fruitful season ahead. By prioritizing your spiritual connection with each other and with God, you’re laying a strong foundation for your marriage to thrive, no matter what challenges or opportunities lie ahead in the4 coming days.

As you journey through this fall season, let us encourage you to embrace the beauty of spiritual reflection. Allow it to deepen your connection to one another, renew your commitment, and prepare you for a season of growth that will bless your marriage for years to come.

To find out more about the Marriage Reboot

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*Disclaimer: The information discussed here is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.

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Putting Your Marriage First

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Aug 10, 2024 | Articles, Intimacy & Connection, Parenting & Family

Guest Post by Julie Baumgardner

Our dear friend Julie Baumgardner, Senior Executive Director at WinShape Marriage, knows firsthand the incredible value of prioritizing your marriage. WinShape Marriage offers the perfect setting to unplug and invest in your relationship through their various retreats. Today, Julie shares with us the importance of keeping your marriage at the top of your schedule, even when life’s demands are pulling you in every direction. Be sure to follow Julie and WinShape Marriage on Instagram to stay inspired and informed!

Well, it’s here. The lazy days of summer are coming to a close and the crazy days of fall are within sight! Some of you are counting down the days and others are sad to see the summer end.

Whichever camp you fall into, one thing’s for sure: A new season is here, and there’s a good chance it will be filled with multiple schedules, extra-curricular activities, church commitments, and more to keep up with.

In the midst of trying to make sure your children are taken care of, it’s easy to let your marriage take a back seat – as in, “We’ll do something for us once things slow down.” However, things aren’t likely to slow down anytime soon. So how do you take care of your marriage in spite of the back-to-school chaos?

The One Thing to Help Your Children Flourish

This may sound counter to everything you’re thinking and hearing, but if you want your children to flourish during the school year, you must put your marriage first.

I once heard a talk from John Medina, author of Brain Rules. Someone in the audience asked, “What do I need to do now in order to give my child the best chance of getting into Harvard?”

Medina’s response? “Go home, love your spouse well, and create a safe and stable environment for your child.”

The audience dropped their jaws at this answer. Naturally, they were expecting to hear about all the different activities parents should ensure their children are involved in to set them up for success. So, receiving advice about their marriage probably seemed random at best and illogical at worst.

Connection is the Best Thing For Your Children

The question for all of us is this: What is the merit behind the guidance? How is putting your marriage first a win?

The underlying thought is that when parents are feeling connected and their relationship is in a healthy place, it creates a healthy environment at home where children can thrive—where they can learn, grow, make mistakes, fail, and be loved through it all. It doesn’t mean you won’t experience angst as you raise your children, but when you are connected and working together as a team, it is easier to walk through the challenges you will face as you prepare your children to grow and go.

What I have seen through the years working with families—and have been guilty of thinking myself—is that depriving children of participating in this sport or that activity will impact them negatively over time. Even though there often isn’t time or money to do it, this mentality leads most families to do it anyway and just figure it out. The collateral damage is parents feeling like they live in a hotel, spending the day-to-day like ships passing in the night. There’s no time for downtime and certainly no room for date nights as a couple. All this leads to a loss of connection as a couple and a family.

And, as we all know, feeling disconnected isn’t a good thing.

4 Questions to Make This Year Successful While Putting Your Marriage First

This may be the year you take a different approach. Take a few minutes with your spouse and look at everything – your time, jobs, money, the needs of your children, extended family needs – all the things that are currently on your plate. Then consider the grades your children will be in and the sports and extra activities they would like to participate in.

Once you have a clear picture of your current situation, ask yourselves these questions:

What do we believe we actually have capacity for in this season that will still allow us to maintain our sanity?
How many activities is it realistic for each child to participate in, while still having time together as a family?
What can we financially afford?
What amount of activity can we allow for our children while still making time for us as a couple?

Entering the school year with sure answers to these questions could be a game changer for your marriage and your family on several levels.

Why to Put Your Marriage First

Why? Because clarity is kindness. Once you have a clear picture of your capacity, you can confidently pass that along to your children. It doesn’t mean they are going to love the limits, but you are teaching them what it looks like to prioritize what’s most important and problem-solve toward a goal—and one day they’ll thank you for that. Remember, you are your children’s first and best teacher.

Here’s the thing: Riding the wave of raising children will ultimately end. Their job is to grow and go. When they go, if you haven’t taken the time to nurture your marriage, you will look at each other and wonder why in the world you are together. So many perfectly good marriages end because people failed to recognize the importance of nurturing their relationship over time. Child-centered marriages are the ones most at risk for divorce.

Actually putting your marriage first, making sure you have time to be together— to play, talk (not just about the children, bills or work) and enjoy each other’s company—increases the chances of your home being a safe and stable place, both while your children are growing up and after they leave the nest.

Verses for a God-Centered Marriage

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Jul 25, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Marriage Recovery & Healing

One of the best ways to cultivate a Christ-centered marriage is for both spouses to seek and follow the Lord wholeheartedly. Placing Him at the center of your marriage allows for direction, growth, and humility to flourish, making your marriage one of the most rewarding and refining relationships you can experience.

5 Scriptures for a Christ-Centered Marriage

Strength in Unity: You are better and stronger together, even more so with the Lord.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12

Prioritize Your Marriage:You will always have things vying for your attention, time, and efforts. It’s essential to make sure your marriage remains a top priority. Many marriages start drifting apart long before they ever explode in destruction. Stay vigilant.

“Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9

Love and Forgiveness: Loving your spouse in action makes it easier to forgive and overlook their flaws and mistakes.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

Boundaries with Extended Family: Setting appropriate boundaries with extended family is crucial. You’re living a life of becoming one, not one of adding more into the mix. If you need guidance, listen to the Expedition Marriage podcast, Episode 44, “Setting Boundaries with In-Laws.”

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

True Love Defined: Always remember what real love is. It’s more than the feelings that led you into marriage.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

When you seek to follow Jesus, you will be continually transformed into His likeness. Your goal as a spouse is to support and encourage each other in this journey. Check out the Newlywed Couples Devotional for a great way to make Christ the center of your marriage. This 52-week devotional is biblically based, filled with scripture and practical applications. It’s designed to deepen your faith, spark meaningful conversations, and guide you in prayer—and the truth is, it’s not just for newlyweds!

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4 Ways to Use Music in Your Marriage

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Mar 25, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Parenting & Family

My husband and I met over music. It all started when I walked into Bleachers, a local bar and grille that happened to have a karaoke night. There he was, microphone in hand, belting out some Billy Joel, and he was surprisingly good. Enough to impress me to marry him–not that night, but eventually.

Almost 30 years later, even though we’ve outgrown our karaoke days, we still find ways to fit music into our lives.

Music has so many benefits, many of which can strengthen your marriage.

Let’s start with mood regulation and emotional well-being. Can I get an AMEN to that for a solid marriage game-changer?!

In all seriousness, music can lift your spirits, relax you, or even bring up fond memories of the past, like a good Billy Joel song does for us. For this reason, we both like to start our mornings with praise and worship. Turning on good praise music while you’re getting ready for the day is a perfect way to set your mood. You put your focus on God, and usually, these songs are upbeat and get you moving.

Music also creates dopamine and breeds connections. It’s something that brings you together and provides a shared experience. We like to use music to set the mood in our home. When we clean, we have an upbeat cleaning-the-house playlist. When it’s cold and rainy, or when Spring is in the air, we have several seasonal playlists to go along with the feelings of the season. Music can enhance whatever feeling you want to have in your environment.

However, one of our favorite ways to use music is with our food. We’re not wine or whiskey drinkers; instead, we like to pair music with our meals. Whenever we cook together, we play “theme” music. If it’s pasta night, we’ve got some Italian tunes going. If it’s barbeque, we’re jamming to some country, and if it’s burgers on the grill, we’re cranking up some 4th of July tunes. Rocking out, singing, and laughing together over music in the kitchen is a fun way to add spontaneity to your lives.

Lastly, music also can be a great stress reducer. We use music to unwind for the night and start relaxing. When it’s time for bed, we get out the lavender diffuser and turn on soft spa music or nature sounds. It’s a perfect way to calm down and prepare for a good night’s sleep.

If you want an easy way to add some fun in your life, starting with a little music just might do the trick!

And as a bonus, music is great on at home date night. We’d love to provide you with one for FREE. Go grab yourself a Happily Date Box on us with code EXPEDITIONMARRIAGE!

FREE Date Box!

How to Keep the Romance Alive After Kids

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Mar 4, 2024 | Articles, Marriage Recovery & Healing, Parenting & Family

If you want to maintain or regain romance in your marriage after having kids, you’re going to have to be intentional about it. A little creativity won’t hurt either!

Practical tips to help keep the romance alive after kids

This may be an unpopular opinion, but if you want to keep the romance in your marriage, you must prioritize your marriage over your kids.

Here’s why:

Your kids will eventually grow up and leave, but your spouse is meant to be with you forever.
The best gift you can give your kids is the example of a healthy marriage.
A healthy marriage makes you better parents and helps you parent as a team.

Don’t worry, your kids still get plenty of love and care. They need food, shelter, safety, and all the love in the world, but they also need to see Mom and Dad loving one another well. They will have so much more peace when they know you two are ok and their home is not at risk of falling apart.

You will also need to share the workload. Regardless of how you choose to run your family and divide up household duties, the truth is, where exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed are present, romance is not. You both need to do your share in running the house and supporting each other. The good news is you get to do what works for you, just don’t keep doing what doesn’t.

Another way to foster romance is by engaging in healthy, open, and honest communication. If you don’t have emotional intimacy that is obtained through vulnerable communication, then it will be challenging to have physical intimacy.

Let’s wrap this up with the obvious and that’s prioritizing regular date nights. 83-84% of married couples who have regular date nights report being very happy in their marriage. You may have to be intentional, but setting aside dedicated time for date nights will benefit your marriage and keep you connected as a couple. Want some ideas, check out 26 Ways to Make Date Night as Easy as ABC.