Verses for a God-Centered Marriage

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Jul 25, 2024 | Articles

One of the best ways to cultivate a Christ-centered marriage is for both spouses to seek and follow the Lord wholeheartedly. Placing Him at the center of your marriage allows for direction, growth, and humility to flourish, making your marriage one of the most rewarding and refining relationships you can experience.

5 Scriptures for a Christ-Centered Marriage

Strength in Unity: You are better and stronger together, even more so with the Lord.

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 4:12

Prioritize Your Marriage:You will always have things vying for your attention, time, and efforts. It’s essential to make sure your marriage remains a top priority. Many marriages start drifting apart long before they ever explode in destruction. Stay vigilant.

“Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Mark 10:9

Love and Forgiveness: Loving your spouse in action makes it easier to forgive and overlook their flaws and mistakes.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

Boundaries with Extended Family: Setting appropriate boundaries with extended family is crucial. You’re living a life of becoming one, not one of adding more into the mix. If you need guidance, listen to the Expedition Marriage podcast, Episode 44, “Setting Boundaries with In-Laws.”

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

True Love Defined: Always remember what real love is. It’s more than the feelings that led you into marriage.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

When you seek to follow Jesus, you will be continually transformed into His likeness. Your goal as a spouse is to support and encourage each other in this journey. Check out the Newlywed Couples Devotional for a great way to make Christ the center of your marriage. This 52-week devotional is biblically based, filled with scripture and practical applications. It’s designed to deepen your faith, spark meaningful conversations, and guide you in prayer—and the truth is, it’s not just for newlyweds!

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4 Ways to Use Music in Your Marriage

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Mar 25, 2024 | Articles

My husband and I met over music. It all started when I walked into Bleachers, a local bar and grille that happened to have a karaoke night. There he was, microphone in hand, belting out some Billy Joel, and he was surprisingly good. Enough to impress me to marry him–not that night, but eventually.

Almost 30 years later, even though we’ve outgrown our karaoke days, we still find ways to fit music into our lives.

Music has so many benefits, many of which can strengthen your marriage.

Let’s start with mood regulation and emotional well-being. Can I get an AMEN to that for a solid marriage game-changer?!

In all seriousness, music can lift your spirits, relax you, or even bring up fond memories of the past, like a good Billy Joel song does for us. For this reason, we both like to start our mornings with praise and worship. Turning on good praise music while you’re getting ready for the day is a perfect way to set your mood. You put your focus on God, and usually, these songs are upbeat and get you moving.

Music also creates dopamine and breeds connections. It’s something that brings you together and provides a shared experience. We like to use music to set the mood in our home. When we clean, we have an upbeat cleaning-the-house playlist. When it’s cold and rainy, or when Spring is in the air, we have several seasonal playlists to go along with the feelings of the season. Music can enhance whatever feeling you want to have in your environment.

However, one of our favorite ways to use music is with our food. We’re not wine or whiskey drinkers; instead, we like to pair music with our meals. Whenever we cook together, we play “theme” music. If it’s pasta night, we’ve got some Italian tunes going. If it’s barbeque, we’re jamming to some country, and if it’s burgers on the grill, we’re cranking up some 4th of July tunes. Rocking out, singing, and laughing together over music in the kitchen is a fun way to add spontaneity to your lives.

Lastly, music also can be a great stress reducer. We use music to unwind for the night and start relaxing. When it’s time for bed, we get out the lavender diffuser and turn on soft spa music or nature sounds. It’s a perfect way to calm down and prepare for a good night’s sleep.

If you want an easy way to add some fun in your life, starting with a little music just might do the trick!

And as a bonus, music is great on at home date night. We’d love to provide you with one for FREE. Go grab yourself a Happily Date Box on us with code EXPEDITIONMARRIAGE!

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How to Keep the Romance Alive After Kids

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Mar 4, 2024 | Articles

If you want to maintain or regain romance in your marriage after having kids, you’re going to have to be intentional about it. A little creativity won’t hurt either!

Practical tips to help keep the romance alive after kids

This may be an unpopular opinion, but if you want to keep the romance in your marriage, you must prioritize your marriage over your kids.

Here’s why:

Your kids will eventually grow up and leave, but your spouse is meant to be with you forever.
The best gift you can give your kids is the example of a healthy marriage.
A healthy marriage makes you better parents and helps you parent as a team.

Don’t worry, your kids still get plenty of love and care. They need food, shelter, safety, and all the love in the world, but they also need to see Mom and Dad loving one another well. They will have so much more peace when they know you two are ok and their home is not at risk of falling apart.

You will also need to share the workload. Regardless of how you choose to run your family and divide up household duties, the truth is, where exhaustion and feeling overwhelmed are present, romance is not. You both need to do your share in running the house and supporting each other. The good news is you get to do what works for you, just don’t keep doing what doesn’t.

Another way to foster romance is by engaging in healthy, open, and honest communication. If you don’t have emotional intimacy that is obtained through vulnerable communication, then it will be challenging to have physical intimacy.

Let’s wrap this up with the obvious and that’s prioritizing regular date nights. 83-84% of married couples who have regular date nights report being very happy in their marriage. You may have to be intentional, but setting aside dedicated time for date nights will benefit your marriage and keep you connected as a couple. Want some ideas, check out 26 Ways to Make Date Night as Easy as ABC.

4 Sure Fire Ways to Ruin Date Night

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Feb 12, 2024 | Articles

If you’ve been married any length of time, especially if you have children, then you know that planning a date night is not as simple as it once was while you were dating. Since it’s hard enough to get a date night on the books, the last thing you want to do is ruin it when you’re on one!

So, you’d be wise to take note of these 4 things that can ruin a date night:

Let’s start by stating the obvious and go with the importance of staying off your phone. This means don’t pick it up, don’t look at it, and certainly don’t use it. If you’ve got kids at home and need to be reachable for them or on call for something important, make sure you can hear it and keep it hidden. This lets your spouse know you are their priority and want uninterrupted time together.

Even something as simple as having your phone on the table at a restaurant says, “I’m paying attention to you now, but the second that little thing makes a noise, I’m out.” Your best bet is to put it down, silence it, and keep it out of sight.

Another way to ruin a date night is to talk about problems. This isn’t the time to vent about work, complain about the kids, or point out how your spouse needs to start loading the dishwasher correctly. Bringing up negative things on a date night quickly kills the mood during your time together. Keep in mind that these things are important to talk about, just not on a date.

One more buzzkill to a great night out is to be too self-focused. Try to ask your spouse questions instead of just talking about yourself. Need some help? Check out 5 Questions to Ask Your Spouse When You’ve Run Out of Things to Say. Don’t only ask good questions but also focus on being a good listener. This way, by the end of the night, your spouse will feel seen, heard, and cared for.

Lastly, not prioritizing your date nights will for sure make them flop. Your night doesn’t have to be perfect, but showing your spouse they matter by prioritizing time with them and putting some effort into planning goes a long way. If you struggle in the ideas department but want to prioritize date night, then we have a gift for you!

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Navigating Intimacy: 7 Tips for When You Have a Higher Sex Drive than Your Husband

by email@expeditionmarriage.org | Feb 5, 2024 | Articles

We live in a society where it’s not uncommon to hear about the great need for sex that men have. But the truth is that God designed sex for both husbands and wives, and how much or how little they each desire sex can be varied. It is true that more men statistically have higher sex drives than their wives, but in 1 out of every 4 marriages, it’s the wife who has the higher drive.

What do you do in this stigmatized situation that feels like things are backward?

As a woman with a higher sex drive, it’s likely that your first instinct is to wonder why you’re not desirable to your husband. This form of thinking is self-protective and likely not even close to being the reality of the situation.

There are many reasons why our sex drives are different, and they’re usually not related to our spouse’s attractiveness. It’s actually far more likely for a wife not to have sex with her husband for this reason than it is the other way around. But constantly asking your husband if he’s attracted to you or questioning why he isn’t will not head you in the direction you’d like to go.

For starters, mismatched sex drives are entirely normal. When it can become a problem is when there are sudden drops in libido, slow fades because you’re disconnected as a couple, or when other health issues or aging are factors. Some of these can be addressed and fixed, and others you can learn to adjust to in beautiful and healthy ways. The couple affected by chronic pain, medical issues, or just the aging couple can all still have great sex.

Here are some insights and practical tips to foster a healthy and satisfying intimate connection when sex drives differ:

Open and Honest Communication:
Good communication is important when it comes to the health of a marriage, especially when it comes to physical connection. Good communication leads to emotional connection, which often leads to physical connection. Believe it or not, husbands want emotional connection, too.

You also need to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about your respective needs, desires, and expectations. Create a safe space where both of you can express your feelings without judgment. Make inquiries about health, his mental and physical state, stress levels, or any obstacles that may decrease his libido. Determine if he’s worried about it or if he feels your sex drive is just higher.

Understand Each Other’s Perspectives:
Take the time to understand each other’s perspectives on intimacy. Acknowledge that everyone’s libido is unique, and factors such as stress, health, and personal experiences can influence it. Understanding one another’s point of view will foster empathy and strengthen your emotional connection.
If your husband says it’s not a lack of desire for you, believe him. If you disregard how he really feels, you will likely make him feel inadequate or defective in some way. Remember, a lower sex drive for him can be entirely normal and does not signify a problem, so it’s important to make him feel like he is not flawed in this area.

Prioritize Quality Over Quantity:
Focus on letting quality trump quantity when it comes to intimacy. Instead of focusing solely on frequency, concentrate on the quality of your intimate moments. Ensure that both of you feel emotionally connected and satisfied, regardless of the frequency. When you are physically intimate, be fully present and make the most out of it.

Schedule Intimacy:
While it may sound unromantic, scheduling intimacy can be a practical solution to ensure that both partners’ needs are met. This approach allows for anticipation and planning, creating a dedicated space for intimate connection amidst busy schedules. At the end of the day, we schedule and make room for the things that are important to us.

5. Seek Professional Guidance:
If the differences in sexual desire become a significant source of tension, consider seeking the guidance of a marriage counselor. Professionals can provide insights, tools, and strategies to navigate these challenges and enhance intimacy.

6. Address Potential Underlying Issues:
If there are potential medical reasons or other underlying issues, such as stress, hormonal imbalances, or unresolved marriage issues, address them. Get hormones checked, see the doctor together, or get counseling. Your marriage is worth it.

7. Focus on Overall Relationship Health:Remember that a healthy intimate life is just one aspect of a thriving relationship. Focus on nurturing other aspects of your connection, such as emotional intimacy, communication, and shared activities. A well-rounded relationship can contribute to a more fulfilling and harmonious marriage.

Navigating a situation where you have a higher sex drive requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to explore new approaches.

By fostering open communication and mutual respect, you can create a space where both of you feel valued and satisfied in your intimate connection. Remember, it’s about finding a balance that works for both of you and enhances the overall well-being of your relationship. Mismatched sex drives don’t have to be a problem to be solved. They can often be an opportunity to connect in so many other ways.

Want more Christian Marriage content? Check out the Expedition Marriage Podcast with Chris and Jamie Bailey.

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