What’s Not Normal in Marriage

What’s Not Normal in Marriage

by | Oct 23, 2025 | Articles, Featured Communication Resources, Intimacy & Connection, Marriage Communication

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What’s Not Normal in Marriage

Marriage is meant to be a safe and sacred space built on honesty, mutual respect, and emotional safety. But sometimes, what’s become normal in a relationship is anything but healthy. When confusion and secrecy start showing up more than trust and connection, it’s time to pause and take an honest look what might be happening.

Here are a few things that are not normal in a healthy, God-honoring marriage — even if you’ve been told they are:

🔒 Hidden Passwords or Secret Conversations

Transparency is the foundation of trust, and trust is foundational in marriage. When passwords are hidden or text conversations are kept secret, it breeds uncertainty and suspicion. A spouse who is walking in integrity has no reason to keep their phone, messages, or online life in the dark.

If you find yourself constantly wondering what’s on your spouse’s phone or feeling uneasy about what they might be hiding, that’s not “being controlling”, that’s your God-given discernment alerting you that something’s off. This is especially true if your spouse refuses to let you see their phone.

Scripture reminds us:

“The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.” — Proverbs 12:22

Healthy marriages thrive in the light, not behind screens or secret passcodes.

💔 Dismissed Feelings: Dealing with Disbelief and Invalidations

Being told “you’re overreacting” or “it’s not a big deal” when you’re clearly hurt is not normal. It’s dismissive. Emotional invalidation eats away at connection and leaves you feeling unseen and unheard.

When your gut says something isn’t right, or if something truly bothers you, and your spouse continually minimizes it, confusion and self-doubt grow. And that’s not love, that’s manipulation or avoidance.

Healthy communication sounds like:

“I can see this really bothers you. Help me understand why.”
Not: “You’re too sensitive.”

Love doesn’t try to silence you. It makes efforts to hear you.

🪞 Their Friends, Phone, or Hobbies Always Come First

Yes, balance is important, and friendships and hobbies matter. But when your spouse consistently prioritizes everything else over you, that’s not normal partnership in marriage.

Marriage requires intentional time and emotional investment. If you always feel like you’re coming in last, the issue isn’t your neediness, it’s the lack of mutual prioritization.

Remember:

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:4

Love makes time, energy and space for one another.

💳 Chronic Lies About Money or Whereabouts

A lie is never small when it’s repeated. When there’s dishonesty about spending, location, or relationships, that pattern slowly erodes safety.

You deserve truth, not half-truths or constant explanations that just “don’t add up.” Trust will only exist where honesty does.

If lying has become common, it’s not a “communication issue,” it’s a truth and integrity issue. And truth is the very oxygen of intimacy.

⚠️ Being Told to Believe What You Know Is a Lie

If you’re told you’re imagining things or “crazy” for seeing what’s right in front of you, that’s not normal, it’s gaslighting.

Gaslighting distorts your reality to make you question yourself. It’s emotionally abusive and deeply damaging to your sense of safety.

“The truth will set you free.” — John 8:32
God’s Word never calls us to deny reality to maintain peace. He calls us to walk in truth and wisdom.

🌀 Anything That Breeds Confusiontroubled marriage, marriage counseling

Here’s the bottom line:
Anything that continually breeds confusion in your relationship is meant to. And that’s why it’s not normal. (Read that again if you need to)

Confusion is not from God. His ways bring peace, clarity, and conviction, not constant second-guessing and emotional chaos.

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” — 1 Corinthians 14:33

If you’re constantly left wondering what’s real and what’s not, it’s time to take a step back, pray for discernment, and seek wise, biblical counsel.

💡 A Word of Hope

If you’re reading this and realizing that some of these things sound familiar, take heart.  Awareness is the first step toward healing.

You don’t have to stay stuck in a cycle of secrecy, confusion, or dismissal. God sees the pain that’s hard to put into words, and He wants to lead you toward truth and restoration.

Healing doesn’t begin by pretending everything is fine. It begins by bringing the truth into the light.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” — John 1:5

If you need clarity and help in your marriage, please contact us for counseling or make use of our other resources.
Get Help Here

Or for some encouragement, check out A Message From God for Your Hurting Marriage

When you share your email address with us, the personal information you provide is used to send you the requested free resources and relevant offers, promotions, and updates to help encourage and support you in your marriage. Your information will not be shared with anyone outside of Expedition Marriage. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the tab at the bottom of all emails.

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Ep. 157: When Your Husband Doesn’t Share Your Faith — Hope for Spiritually Unequal Marriages

Ep. 157: When Your Husband Doesn’t Share Your Faith — Hope for Spiritually Unequal Marriages

by | Oct 16, 2025

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When Your Husband Doesn’t Share Your Faith — Hope for Spiritually Unequal Marriages

 

Marriage is challenging enough, but when your spouse doesn’t share your faith, it can feel like you’re walking this journey alone. In this episode, we’re diving deep into what it means to be in a spiritually mismatched marriage and how to find hope, peace, and purpose along the way.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

1. The Reality of Spiritually Unequal Marriages

  • What it means to be “spiritually mismatched”
  • Common emotions: loneliness, frustration, confusion, and hope

2. Common Struggles These Couples Face

  • Spiritual Loneliness: Feeling unsupported in your walk with Christ
  • Parenting Challenges: Different values and beliefs causing tension
  • Church Involvement: One spouse engaged, the other resistant
  • Communication Gaps: Conflicts over priorities and purpose
  • Stat: 67% of couples say faith differences increase relationship stress (Lifeway Research)

3. How to Love Well Without Compromising Your Faith

  • Influence Through Love, Not Pressure
  • Stay Rooted in Christ
  • Find Support
  • Create Connection Outside Faith

4. Encouragement and Hope

  • God sees your marriage, your prayers, and your heart
  • Romans 12:12 — “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
  • Isaiah 40:31 — God renews your strength while you wait

Resources & Next Steps

  • ✉️ Prayer Support: Email us if you’d like us to pray alongside you—we keep a dedicated list and would love to lift your marriage before God.
  • 🙏 Join Our 30-Day Praying for Your Husband Challenge to deepen your intercessory prayer life.

• • 📩 Share This Episode: Know someone walking this path? Send them this episode and begin praying together for your husbands.

Let’s Connect:

If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it. Together, we can spread hope and equip more marriages to thrive—no matter the season they’re in.

💌 Stay Connected:

Want more tools and encouragement for your marriage?
📬 Sign up for our weekly newsletter: https://expeditionmarriage.org/newsletter
👥 Learn about counseling: https://expeditionmarriage.org/marriage

Thanks for tuning in!
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to share it with a friend and tag us. We love hearing how you’re reclaiming your time and connection in this noisy world!

 

 

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Need extensive help for your marriage? Ask us about our Couple’s Sessions or our Weekend-intensive Marriage Reboot. 

When you share your email address with us, the personal information you provide is used to send you the requested free resources and relevant offers, promotions, and updates to help encourage and support you in your marriage. Your information will not be shared with anyone outside of Expedition Marriage. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the tab at the bottom of all emails.

We’d LOVE to hear from you! Comment below, email us, or DM us on Instagram.

*Disclaimer: The information discussed here is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.

*Disclaimer: The information discussed here is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.

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Is Your Marriage in a Stormy Season?

Is Your Marriage in a Stormy Season?

by | Jul 21, 2025 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Intimacy & Connection

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Is Your Marriage in a Stormy Season?

The other night, an intense storm rolled through our neighborhood. My husband was in the office finishing up counseling sessions, and I was alone in our living room. The lightning was striking so close to our house that I could see massive bolts flash through the trees in our backyard. Each one lit up the entire room, and with every rumble of thunder, my heart jumped a little more.

Within minutes, the rain started pouring. The wind blew so fiercely that it bent smaller trees and sent hail crashing sideways into our windows. It was loud, chaotic, and honestly—unsettling.

And in that moment, I just wished my husband was with me.

Now, I know he couldn’t have done anything to stop the storm itself. But his presence would’ve been enough to calm my heart. Because that’s what we long for in times of fear—someone to be with us.

Later that evening, as the storm passed and quiet skies returned, I couldn’t help but reflect on how much that moment reminded me of our walk with Jesus.

The Power of Presence

You and I have a Savior who never leaves the room.

He’s not caught up in someone else’s crisis, distracted by a to-do list, or busy solving bigger problems. Jesus is always present. Not only is He with us—He lives within us.

“Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?”
— 1 Corinthians 3:16 Is Your Marriage in a Stormy Season?

Even when the storms in life, or in your marriage, rage, Jesus may not promise to always calm the weather—but He does promise to calm our hearts. And that kind of peace is more powerful than we often realize.  

Storms in Marriage

Let’s be honest—marriage isn’t stormproof. Sometimes the rain shows up as miscommunication, disappointment, or distance. Sometimes the wind is the pressure of outside circumstances—kids, jobs, finances. Sometimes, the hail comes in the form of deep hurts and unmet needs.

But no matter what storm you face in your marriage, you are not alone in it.

Jesus anchors you. He doesn’t pull away when it gets loud, messy, or painful. He draws near.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”
— Hebrews 6:19

Keep in Mind:

Whether you’re in the middle of a relational storm right now or you’re just grateful for clear skies today, here are two practical steps you can take:

  1. Invite Jesus into your fear, not just your fix.

Instead of only asking Him to change your spouse or your situation, ask Him to calm your heart. Let His nearness be your comfort, even if the circumstances don’t immediately change.Is Your Marriage in a Stormy Season?

  1. Walk closely with Him in the calm.

The best time to build your trust in Jesus is when things are quiet. Daily time with Him prepares your heart to lean on Him when things get loud. The more familiar His presence becomes, the easier it is to recognize His peace in the middle of chaos.

Remember You’re Not Alone 

Whether your storm is raging, just starting to rumble, or about to blow over—Jesus is with you. He may not always stop the storm, but He will always still your heart. You are never alone, and you never have to weather it in your own strength.

Let His presence be your peace. Let His voice be louder than the thunder. And let His Word remind you:

“Be still and know that I am God.”
— Psalm 46:10

When you share your email address with us, the personal information you provide is used to send you the requested free resources and relevant offers, promotions, and updates to help encourage and support you in your marriage. Your information will not be shared with anyone outside of Expedition Marriage. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the tab at the bottom of all emails.

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When You’re Fighting for Your Marriage Alone: Where Real Strength Comes From

When You’re Fighting for Your Marriage Alone: Where Real Strength Comes From

by | Jun 28, 2025 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Intimacy & Connection, Marriage Recovery & Healing

*If you’re in an abusive or unsafe marriage, this message is not meant for your situation. God does not ask you to stay in harm’s way. Please seek help, support, and safety. You are deeply valued, and you are not alone.

When You’re Fighting for Your Marriage Alone BlogMarriage can be one of the most beautiful parts of life—but it can also be one of the most painful places to feel alone.

 Maybe you’re the one trying.
The one praying.
The one reading the books, initiating the conversations, suggesting counseling.
And maybe… your spouse isn’t.

If you’re feeling like you’re the only one fighting for your marriage, I want you to hear this loud and clear:

You were never meant to carry your marriage on your own.

When Your Strength Isn’t Enough

We all hit a breaking point when we realize our human strength has limits. It’s discouraging when your best effort still isn’t enough to fix what’s broken.

But here’s the truth—your strength was never supposed to be enough.

Psalm 73:26 reminds us,

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

God never asked you to white-knuckle your way through pain or pretend everything is fine. He simply asks you to bring your weakness to Him—because that’s where His strength comes through the most.

What If My Spouse Refuses to Do the Work?

This may be one of the hardest places to land in a marriage:
You’re ready to grow, you desperately want to heal, and surrender to God—but your spouse is unwilling.

Maybe they don’t want counseling.
Maybe they won’t talk about deeper issues.
Maybe they’ve checked out emotionally or spiritually.

And you’re left wondering, “How can this work if I’m the only one working?”

Here’s the hope:
God can still work in your marriage—even when your spouse won’t.

Psalm 46:1 says,

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”

God doesn’t disappear when your spouse pulls away. In fact, He often draws nearer. He sees your effort. He honors your faithfulness. And He promises to carry you when it feels like you can’t carry anything—or anyone—else.

What Can You Do?

While you can’t change your spouse, here’s what you can do:

  1. Anchor Yourself in God’s Truth

Your worth is not measured by your spouse’s choices.
God’s love for you is unshakable, and your obedience is not wasted.

Isaiah 40:29 says,

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.”

  1. Pray—But Release Control

Yes, pray for your spouse. But don’t make their transformation your responsibility.
Ask God to do what only He can do in their heart—and rest in knowing He’s at work even when you can’t see it.

  1. Protect Your Heart with Boundaries

Boundaries are not about punishment—they’re about protecting what’s healthy.
If your spouse isn’t pursuing God, that doesn’t mean you stop. Keep growing, keep guarding your peace, and don’t compromise your walk with Christ.

  1. Find Safe, Godly Support

Don’t walk this road alone. Talk to a counselor, a mentor, or a trusted friend who can offer support without judgment. Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is simply ask for help.

A Final Word of Hope

Even if you're spouse isnt' showing up, God always will2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says,

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness… for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

This isn’t just true in theory—it’s true for you.

If your marriage feels one-sided right now, don’t give up.
God isn’t finished with your story.
And even if your spouse isn’t showing up, God always will.

Your role is to stay close to Him. To listen for His voice. To obey what He is asking you to do today—even if your spouse isn’t willing to join you yet.

Because when your strength runs out, His never does. None of this guarantees the outcome you may be desiring, but if you abide in the Lord, His direction will be clear, and His grace will be sufficient. He will make straight the path to follow going forward.

Reflection Questions:

  • Where am I relying on my own strength instead of leaning into God’s?
  • What’s one area in my marriage I need to surrender today?
  • Who can I invite into my journey for support?

If this resonates with you, we want you to know—we’re with you.
And more importantly, God is with you. He’s holding you, equipping you, and working even when it feels like nothing’s moving.

You are not alone.

Find more paid and free resources at www.expeditionmarriage.org

Want More?

Listen in as we discuss this issue on Ep. 142: When You’re Fighting for Your Marriage Alone on the Expedition Marriage Podcast.

—Chris & Jamie
Expedition Marriage

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Feeling Stuck in Your Marriage? You’re Not Alone

Feeling Stuck in Your Marriage? You’re Not Alone

by | Jun 18, 2025 | Articles, Intimacy & Connection, Marriage Recovery & Healing

Feeling Stuck in Your Marriage? You’re Not Alone

If your marriage feels stuck right now—like no matter what you try, nothing is working—I want to remind you of something important:

You are not alone.

Maybe you’ve done the work.
You’ve had the conversations, read the books, scheduled the date nights, and prayed all the prayers.

But the disconnect is still there. The hurt still lingers. The changes you long for seem slow… or even non-existent.

And maybe, deep down, you’re beginning to wonder if anything you do even matters.

Here’s something to hold onto today:

“The opposite of stuck isn’t unstuck. It’s moving.”

Sometimes being stuck isn’t about doing something wrong. It’s about not knowing what else to do. And because of that, over time, we stop moving. We shut down. We settle into disappointment and stop believing anything will change.

But what if your stuckness is actually serving you in some way?

That’s a hard question—but an important one.

How might staying stuck actually be serving me?

  • Is it protecting me from hoping again—because if I hope, I might be disappointed?
  • Is it helping me stay small, where it feels safer and more familiar?
  • Is there a lie I’m believing—like “This will never change” or “It’s all up to me”—that keeps me from healing?
  • Have I developed a loyalty to my stuckness, because more of a victim mentality feels easier than risking vulnerability or trust?

Here’s what I know: God didn’t create you—or your marriage—for survival mode. He created you for abundance and growth.

Romans 12:2 says,

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

So if your heart is weary today, start with a shift in mindset. Ask God to renew your hope. To highlight the lies that need replacing. To show you just one small step you can take toward connection, healing, and restoration.

Because you don’t have to fix it all. You just have to keep moving—with Jesus leading the way.

There is hope. Even here. Even now.
Don’t stop. Just take the next step.

*This blog is not intended for anyone in a toxic or abusive marriage. If this is you, let someone know or seek professional help

*Disclaimer: The information discussed in this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes and is not meant to replace counseling or working with a trained healthcare professional.

7 Things Your Husband Would Love to Hear 

7 Things Your Husband Would Love to Hear 

by | Jun 12, 2025 | Articles, Featured Communication Resources, Intimacy & Connection, Marriage Communication

7 Things Your Husband Would Love to Hear

Husbands often get a reputation for being emotionally simple—but underneath their composed exterior, many of them wrestle with insecurities, feelings of failure, and the pressure to provide. As wives, we have the power to speak truth over those difficult areas and breathe confidence into their hearts.

Here are seven messages every husband wants and needs to hear from their wife:

  1. “I believe in you.”

Even the most confident man needs to know his wife’s supports him and more importantly believes in him. Saying this lets him hear, “I see you. I trust you. I’m behind you all the way.”

  1. “It’s okay to take time for yourself.”

Men often feel guilty about or dismiss their need to take care of themselves. Remind your husband that rest, hobbies, or time with friends isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for his well-being. Tell him it’s okay to take the time and then help him find the time to take.

  1. “I appreciate your efforts.”

Too often, a husband’s hard work—both seen and unseen—goes unnoticed. A heartfelt “thank you” lightens his load and tells him his sacrifices matter. Your gratitude will go a long way.

7 Things Your Husband Would Love to Hear

  1. “It’s okay to fail—you’re still capable.”

Many husbands fear failure more than anything. Let him know that mistakes don’t define him; they’re part of growth. Your encouragement gives him permission to try again. Want more on husbands and fear of failure? Check out https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-33-what-wives-need-to-know-about-husbands-and-failure/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

  1. “I don’t hold the past against you.”

Release past hurts and truly let them go. When a husband knows he isn’t under continuous scrutiny, he’s more likely to live and love courageously. There’s a lot of power in forgiveness for both you and your husband.

2 More Things Every Husband Needs to Hear

  1. “I respect the leader I see in you.”

Whether he’s leading prayers at the table or making tough calls at home, it matters when his wife acknowledges his role. Respect empowers him to step into his God-given calling with confidence—and paves the way for mutual submission and unity.

  1. “I trust your heart.”

In a world that’s full of suspicion and pressure, telling your husband you believe in his intentions communicates security—and God-honoring trust. Letting your husband know that you believe he is for you and for what is good, will provide him relief from any burden of his character being doubted.

Speak Life Over Your Husband

Why This Matters

Every kind word you give your husband will help form the foundation of his emotional resilience. When he hears these truths, especially from you:

  • He feels valued instead of overlooked
  • He’s more likely to rest in the safety of your marriage and your heart
  • His confidence in leadership and character grows
  • He’s empowered to love you and your family well

Letting your husband hear your heart—even in simple, everyday moments—can completely shift the atmosphere of your marriage. It doesn’t need to be grand: a note, a casual “thank you,” or a hug after a long day can say more than words ever could.

Want some handy reminders?

Download our “Encouraging Things to Say to Your Husband” cheat sheet—filled with easy, and hopefully authentic to you phrases that can create genuine connection (link here).

Next Step Challenge

Pick one of these seven truths and speak it to your husband this week. Maybe say it out loud, text it, or write it down—Be so genuine that he really feels it.

Marriage isn’t just about surviving—it’s about speaking life, grace, and love into the heart of the man who’s on this lifelong journey with you.

Is Your Marriage Settling for Relief Instead of Restoration?

Is Your Marriage Settling for Relief Instead of Restoration?

by | May 5, 2025 | Articles, Intimacy & Connection, Marriage Recovery & Healing

Have you ever found yourself just wanting a little relief in your marriage?

Maybe the conversations have grown stale.
Maybe you’re feeling more like roommates than soulmates.
Or maybe it’s just been a long week, and the tension in your home feels heavy.

You’re not in crisis—but you’re not exactly thriving either.

In those moments, it’s easy to reach for relief. A movie night to avoid talking. Scrolling your phone to check out for a bit. A quick laugh or a busy schedule to distract you from the quiet disconnection.

But here’s the hard truth I was reminded of recently while listening to a podcast interview with John Eldredge:

“We’re constantly reaching for relief, when what we really need is restoration.”

6 milestones to celebrate in your marriage

That hit me.

Because relief—while comforting—is temporary. It’s surface-level. It makes us feel better for a moment but never truly heals anything.
Restoration, on the other hand, goes deeper. It brings things back to life. It revives what’s been slowly fading. It addresses the root, not just the symptoms.

And in marriage, we need restoration far more than we need temporary relief.

Even if your marriage isn’t in a crisis, it might be stuck in something just as dangerous: mediocrity, boredom, or quiet disconnection.

When we settle for relief in those moments, we risk growing numb to the slow drift between us. We start surviving instead of thriving. We accept fine when God has something far better in mind. 

The good news? God is a God of restoration.

He doesn’t just patch things up—He makes all things new. (Revelation 21:5)
He doesn’t just want us to get through marriage—He wants us to flourish in it.

So if you’ve been feeling the pull toward surface-level solutions lately, let this be your gentle nudge:

Don’t stop at relief.

Press in for restoration.

Invite God into the quiet places of your marriage.
Have the honest conversations you’ve been putting off.
Ask Him to breathe new life into the parts that feel weary or routine.

Because your marriage was never meant to settle for just “getting by.”

It was created to reflect the beauty, grace, and restorative power of a God who brings dead things back to life.

And He’s not done writing your story.

Need help moving from relief to restoration?
Check out our free resources and counseling options at ExpeditionMarriage.org — we’re here to walk with you every step of the way.

Want a Closer Marriage? Start with a Closer Walk with God

Want a Closer Marriage? Start with a Closer Walk with God

by | Apr 16, 2025 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Intimacy & Connection

When you see a strong, connected marriage, you can be sure of one thing—it didn’t just happen by chance.

A closer marriage is the result of two people intentionally showing up for each other. It’s built in the daily choices: carving out time together, having meaningful conversations, laughing, forgiving, supporting one another through life’s highs and lows. That kind of closeness is a byproduct of connection—and that connection requires time and investment.

But here’s something we often forget: our relationship with God works the exact same way.

We can’t expect to feel close to our spouse if we’re not spending quality time with them. And in the same way, we can’t expect to feel close to God if we’re not regularly making space for Him in our lives. Time in prayer, in His Word, and simply being in His presence—it all matters. It shapes us.

Closer Marriage

And here’s why that connection to God is essential for a healthy marriage:

When we prioritize our relationship with God, we become better spouses. We grow in patience. We become more forgiving, more humble, and more loving—not because we’re trying harder, but because we’re being transformed by His Spirit. He changes us from the inside out.

That’s why a thriving marriage starts with a thriving faith.

Jesus put it this way in John 15:5 (NIV):

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.”

That fruit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness—is what feeds our marriage and sustains us through every season.

Without staying connected to the Vine, we wither… and our relationships suffer too.

So, if your heart is longing for a deeper connection in your marriage, start by drawing closer to Christ.
If you want to feel more united as husband and wife, begin by staying united with Him.

Because the closer you are to God, the closer you can become to each other.

Thriving marriage

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Your Phone Might Be the Devil’s Favorite Device in Your Life

Your Phone Might Be the Devil’s Favorite Device in Your Life

by | Apr 14, 2025 | Articles, Intimacy & Connection, Parenting & Family

A Reflection on Distraction, Intimacy, and Taking Your Attention Back

My husband and I recently had one of those conversations—the kind that makes you stop and re-evaluate what’s quietly taking over your life. This time, it was about our phones.

We’d already started making some big changes in how we use them, but something about that conversation stirred something deeper in me. Out of curiosity, I looked up the definition of the word “device.” (Yes—on my phone, ironically enough.)

Here’s what I found:
A device is “a deceit or plan to trick.”

Oof. That one hit me, but also didn’t shock me.

Suddenly, I started to see things more clearly. How often is that “innocent” scroll really just a trap? How often does that little ding or buzz pull us away from what actually matters? The enemy is clever—he doesn’t always storm in with chaos. Sometimes, he just gently lures us with distraction… dressed up as entertainment, comparison, or even productivity.

Distraction in Marriage

Distraction Is Spiritual

Let’s call it what it is: many of us are spiritually disconnected—not because God has gone silent, but because we’ve stopped listening.

We’ve traded quiet time for screen time.
Communion with Christ for connection with content.
Real presence in our marriages for mindless scrolling.

And the most tragic part?
We barely notice it happening.

Our phones aren’t evil in themselves. They’re tools.
But they become traps when they start stealing our dependence, our attention, and our peace.

Who Has More Access to You—Your Phone or Your Savior?

That’s the question I had to wrestle with.
And maybe it’s one you need to ask yourself, too.

Jesus hasn’t moved.
He hasn’t stopped speaking.
But maybe we’ve just forgotten how to be still long enough to hear Him.

The constant noise, the pull of endless content, the dopamine hits from likes and notifications—it’s all shaping our spiritual attention spans. And if we’re not careful, we’ll raise children who can’t sit in silence and we’ll grow marriages that struggle to thrive without a screen in the room.

The Call Back to Stillness

Here’s the good news:
You can take your attention back.
You can shut down the noise and open up space for something better.

  • You can put your phone down and pick up God’s Word.
  • You can re-learn how to sit with Him.
  • You can begin to hear again.

And yes, at first, stillness might feel awkward.
You’ll be tempted to reach for distraction.
But stay with it.

Stillness is where intimacy grows. It’s where God whispers. And it’s where peace begins to replace pressure.

Stillness in Marriage

For the Sake of Your Marriage

This isn’t just about your quiet time—it’s about your relationship.
If you’re like many couples today, chances are your phone has become a source of tension in your marriage.

How many times have you heard:
“Can you just put your phone down for a minute?”
“Are you even listening to me?”

It’s time to stop letting a device create distance in our closest relationships.

Let’s not allow something in our hands to steal the intimacy we were meant to have—with God and with each other.

A Prayer to Refocus

Lord, help me to recognize the distractions that pull me away from You. Give me the strength to choose stillness, to quiet the noise, and to tune my heart to Your voice again. Help me love You with my attention. And help me love my spouse with my presence. In Jesus Name, Amen.

If this hits home for you, maybe it’s time for a little phone reset.
Not because it’s trendy—but because your soul needs space to breathe.
And your marriage? It needs presence more than pixels.

Let’s take our attention back—together.

Do you feel like you are all alone in your marriage?

Are your schedules so busy with work and taking care of your family that you are simply too tired to connect?

Wouldn't it be great if you could move from exhausted and alone to connected and supported?

To feel like you were part of a team?

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Embracing the Freedom of Forgiveness

Embracing the Freedom of Forgiveness

by | Sep 3, 2024 | Articles, Christian Marriage, Marriage Recovery & Healing

As Christian marriage counselors, we’ve seen countless couples weighed down by the heavy burden of unforgiveness, whether the unforgiveness is in their marriage or from an individual hurt outside of their marriage. The same thing rings true; holding onto resentment, anger, or hurt damages your relationship with your spouse and takes a toll on your spiritual and emotional well-being. That’s why we’re excited to introduce you to a helpful new resource: Learning How to Forgive: A Devotional of Prayers and Practices to Release Negative Emotions and Achieve True Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity, with Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross being the ultimate example of love and forgiveness. Yet, in our marriages, forgiveness can often feel like one of the hardest acts to practice. Whether it’s a small slight or a deep wound, the pain can linger, affecting how we interact with our spouse and how we see ourselves.

Why Forgiveness Matters in Marriage

In marriage, two imperfect people are bound to hurt each other, intentionally or unintentionally. It’s part of being human. But without forgiveness, those hurts can build up, creating walls that block intimacy and trust. Unforgiveness can lead to bitterness, isolation, and, sadly, even the breakdown of a marriage.

embracing the freedom of forgiveness

However, when we choose to forgive, we open the door to healing, reconciliation, and restored connection. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the hurt; it means choosing to release the negative emotions that keep you trapped in the past and prevent you from moving forward in your relationship. This new devotional is designed to help you break free from those chains and embrace the peace that comes from true forgiveness.

What This Devotional Offers

Learning How to Forgive is more than just a book; it’s a journey toward emotional and spiritual freedom. Each day’s devotional is carefully crafted to guide you through the process of forgiveness, offering:

  • Daily Prayers: Start each day by inviting God into your healing process. These prayers are designed to help you align your heart with His will and find the strength to forgive, even when it feels impossible.
  • Reflective Practices: Each devotional includes practical exercises to help you release negative emotions, whether it’s through journaling, biblical meditation, or other activities. These practices are rooted in Scripture and are designed to help you connect deeply with your emotions and with God’s truth.
  • Scriptural Insights: Drawing from the Bible, the devotional provides a solid foundation for understanding forgiveness from a Christian perspective. You’ll explore verses that speak to God’s forgiveness for us and His command that we forgive others.
  • Real-Life Applications: Forgiveness isn’t just a spiritual concept; it’s something we live out every day. The devotional includes real-life examples and scenarios to help you apply the principles of forgiveness in your marriage and beyond.

The Path to Healing and Wholeness

Forgiveness is not a one-time event; it’s a process. This devotional will walk with you step by step, helping you navigate the complexities of forgiveness in a way that is both compassionate and biblically sound. Whether you’re dealing with a small grievance or a deep betrayal, Learning How to Forgive offers the tools and support you need to find true healing.

As you journey through this devotional, you’ll discover that forgiveness isn’t just about releasing your spouse or others from their wrongs—it’s about freeing yourself from the weight of carrying those hurts. It’s about finding peace, joy, and a renewed sense of connection with your spouse, with others, and with God.

Take the First Step

the meaning of forgiveness

I encourage you to take the first step towards healing today. Whether you’re struggling to forgive your spouse, a friend, or even yourself, this devotional can be the guide you need. Remember, forgiveness is a gift from God—a gift that brings freedom, healing, and the abundant life He desires for you.

You can find Learning How to Forgive: A Devotional of Prayers and Practices to Release Negative Emotions and Achieve True Forgiveness through our affiliate link on Amazon and anywhere books are sold. May this resource be a blessing to you and your marriage as you seek to live in the fullness of God’s grace.

Get the Book!

Blessings for your journey of healing!